Can someone be too serious of a person to attract?

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I think this is my problem. Women say they don't want to play games, but of course they do. Dating wouldn't be dating without games. It would be rather boring, really, without nearly-incessant coyness. But I come across too straightforwardly to attract. People don't want straightforward people, they want bad-boys/bastards and b*****s. There are many bestselling books on that subject. So, I don't think I'm cut out for relationships, and the main reason is that I'm not really into games, and when I try to play them to fit in, I don't do it right. To do it right, you have to be comfortable being deceptive. How many people in relationships would be single right now if they stopped using deception on a regular basis? So, I know what works, I'm just not willing to use it. No one wants to date a real, live person; they want to date fantasies, mirages, and idealized versions of people. I believe dating IS a game, so it's impossible to not "play games" when going out with someone.

Thoughts/comments?

I agree with you. I have same experience, and have much been thinking about the same matter. I think this is one reason I have been single almost all my life.
People would like me more if I would not be so kind and loving. Men would be more interested in me if I would be ready to decieve them, but my heart is too soft for that.
Also I feel people would like me more if I would be more selfish.

You know, I think you have a point, but at the same time, I personally do NOT find "bad boys" attractive, nor do I find myself drawn to someone who can't take anything seriously. I love to laugh, but I hate playing games, and I like to think that one can be both serious and light-hearted at the same time. After all, as Horace Walpole says, "life is a comedy to those who think." At the same time, though, my brother is one of those "bad boys" who are obnoxious, rude, and can't take anything seriously until a girl dumps him (after which he becomes mopey, depressed, and irritating.) The girls he wants to date are stereotypically "beautiful," and all of them are immediately drawn to his devil may care, f*** the rules personality, but every single one has dumped him after a few months.

Dating is a game, I guess, but I think if you get the right players, it isn't so bad. And don't try to be someone you're not; it's always a bad idea and all the people involved lose. It is not fun being the odd one out, and I'm all for practicing social skills since it gets a lot easier the more often you do it--but don't change your personality just to get a girl.

Maybe you are right about the majority of girls being obsessed with this imaginary movie/TV character that doesn't exist in real life (in which case the problem isn't your fault, mate.)

And don't just quit 'cause you think "you're not cut out for relationships." You may not be cut out for a passion-filled fling with an airhead, but that hardly counts as a relationship. Keep trying. Never, never, never, never, never give up. Sooner or later you're bound to win. Not everyone is deceptive, and sometimes, deception is the result of fear. A lot of girls (and guys) are insecure with themselves and project a "perfected" version of themselves. So you're acting different to get a girl, and the girl is acting different to get a guy...not a good idea.

My dad is probably an Aspie and my mom is completely NT. They've been married for 23 years. See, it does work.

And I'm pretty sure that if a girl were to be completely honest with herself, she would agree that "bad boys" don't offer anything substantial, and that if she were to listen to both her head and heart rather than just her hormones, she would realize "serious" guys are more fun* to be around and with. But that is just my own Aspie opinion on the matter.

*This, of course, depends on your definition of "fun."

I think I also know how I could make men more interested in me, but I do not want to use such ways, I absolutely refuse to flirt forexamble, even I am a dancer and know how to make beautifull performance.
I do not want to seduce anybody towards wordly world and wordly thoughts, but want to be spiritual being.
I have noticed many people use to like lies and illusions more than the truth.
But illusions never last forever and everything "nice" that does not last forever in the end
brings dissappointment and sorrow. That is why it seems to me logical to consentrate in eternal things and "collecting" just things which we can take with us even beoynd the death.
According to my logic real love is eternal and stronger than the death. But physical and wordly things do not last forever, so according to my logic real love can not be based on them.

But I do not expect others to think like me, just expressing how my logic goes...
And in this wordly world I am quite sad person, because it seems my thoughts have no use.
I have not found love in the world.

I have never understood the games, the drama...

My partner used to do things primarily for a reaction and then tell me that I didn't have the correct re-action that a "real" woman should have...like this was a testing process and I was failing???

Don't have flaws, don't get sick, don't take off your mask and reveal your true self, and don't cross the yellow line...I agree...so many can't seem to deal with "real"...they're not looking for a person, anymore they're looking for a programmable "Stepford" mate.

Don't give up there are still "real" people out there I'm sure...just harder to find these days it seems.

I think most women want the following in a man: great body, high-profile career, and the personality of an approval-seeking puppy dog. The great body standard is so high these days (as it is for women as well) that it's laughable. The high-profile career doesn't so much reflect hard-workmanship as a man's alpha-male factor. I'll never be an alpha-male, nor would I like to be. But stepping on people to get where you want to be in life is celebrated, and even looked up to. (Quite sick.) His puppy dog personality is desireable to a woman who wants to have lots of control over her man. (Insert all equivalent superficialities most men want in their women. Bottom line is, both sexes are treated like objects these days, not people.) The key to happiness doesn't lie in your mate becoming more like you want them to be, but rather in deciding you really enjoy them the way they are.

Don't you just roll your eyes when one rich, beautiful celebrity dumps another rich, beautiful celebrity? And it's usually on the grounds that they're not rich and beautiful "enough", as if anyone ever will be.

The great body thing is way, way over-rated...what most don't realize is that for enough money anyone can have a great body. I can't count the number of "beautiful people" that I've ran into over the years that turn out to have the common sense or IQ rating of my doormat.

...when I see someone with a high profile career I have to wonder how many people they stepped on to get there? Alot of that going on it seems ...or I usually feel sorry for the person sitting at home, because I'm sure they are spending alot of time alone while that career position is being maintained.

Hollywood...don't get me started. It's wonderful for comedy relief anymore.