Lonely and feeling undesired--anyone else, and/or advice?

Page 5 of 5 [ 78 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5

BlueMax
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,285

30 Dec 2012, 8:20 pm

Only 9 posts to his name and he comes up with PURE GOLD!

Right on, Shelby!



nessa238
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,908
Location: UK

30 Dec 2012, 8:21 pm

You look perfectly nice and attractive but regardless of that, where men are concerned, you need to develop an individual personality and this will mean that you will always be appealing to men who like individuals - they are in the minority but you can form a far stronger bond with this type of man than the type who just goes for a generic pretty face.

Looks are a double-edged sword in my opinion as if you attract a man with a pretty face he can just as easily go off with a prettier face and may well do so when you get older. So far better to use a combination of looks and personality. A unique personality needs to be the main hook though or you won't be able to hold onto a person as securely.

Developing your own mind and opinions by reading a lot and always looking to absorb new information is the best investment you can make into developing your brain and personality as it will mean you can hold your own in a debate with an intelligent man and not have to resort to stupid girlie giggling and eyelash batting to get attention and he will respect you more for it.
Doing 'girlie' at 60 is going to look pretty sad so better to have some brains in reserve!

Also I would say your face is far more symmetrical and averagely-proportioned than mine so if I've had men chasing after me I'm sure you'll have no problems as you grow older and become more self-confident. The main thing is to value yourself and value your opinion of yourself more than others' opinions of you. It's also about valuing how you are inside as a person more than the outside, which is transient.



loner1984
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jun 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 564

01 Jan 2013, 12:57 am

Thats not how ugly looks.nothing to be ashamed about at all. I pride myself with people being honest. But if you think.you're ugly you're lying to yourself. Check out YouTube there are actually ugly people.being transformed with makeup.

And you look good by default.



Adam82
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 615

01 Jan 2013, 1:46 am

Please stop thinking you're ugly. You're not at all.

And it's quite common around here. I'm 30 and have never had a girlfriend. Never. I'm certainly not ugly, just aspie.

Someone will come along who finds you attractive, I'm sure of it



Stargazer43
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,604

01 Jan 2013, 1:57 am

After seeing your pictures I can assure you that you aren't ugly, in fact I would say that you are actually very attractive. I highly doubt your looks are holding you back at all in terms of dating, I'd guess it's more related to how you present yourself socially. I notice that you sound pretty self-critical in your first post, perhaps that is hindering you somewhat in finding a relationship? Also being approached could be due to expression and body language...if you appear cold or uninterested, even unintentionally, then men will be much less likely to risk approaching.



Dantac
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,672
Location: Florida

02 Jan 2013, 6:24 pm

Catharascotia wrote:
This is what I look like:
http://imgur.com/gallery/4CLwo

My face is unfortunately very crooked :/


'scuse me but if that is what you call ugly I'd like to know what you consider beautiful.

You're quite good looking. Heck, if you were in FL I'd ask you out now. In a snap.



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,018
Location: California, United States

25 Feb 2013, 5:42 pm

Catharascotia wrote:
I'm a 21 year old girl, and I've never had a boyfriend. I've only ever had one guy who asked me out, asked for my number, anything, and he lost interest after only one date. Other than that, I've never had a guy even approach me or flirt with me or ANYTHING.

I'm very plain looking and a bit heavyset. The AS doesn't help--most people don't even want to be friends with me, never mind pursue a romantic relationship with me, and every time I try to talk to guys they're clearly looking to get out of the conversation and probably talk to someone prettier and more socially competent :/ I'm extremely shy and sort of boring, so I don't know if I can make up for looks with personality, especially having AS, which to most NTs just means "really weird".

It's becoming very depressing to hear about other girls my age, who sigh about how stressful it is to have to turn down multiple guys. And it gets very lonely to see couples together and feel that I can never have that.

I know this sounds very mopey-teenage-girl, but it's something that's been on my mind a lot lately.


well you will probably get a boyfriend before 25



Cafeaulait
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,537
Location: Europe

27 Feb 2013, 9:20 pm

You are like me. Check out my topic I started a half year ago.



bruinsy33
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jul 2011
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 446

27 Feb 2013, 10:07 pm

If someone as attractive as you are OP is lonely and undesired that doesn't give much hope for the rest of us. :D



ShamelessGit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jul 2010
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 718
Location: Kansas

27 Feb 2013, 10:41 pm

When I saw your profile pic after you described yourself as ugly, I nearly laughed out loud. You also said you are boring. Does that mean you are totally awesome?

Maybe guys don't approach you because you are too attractive, or maybe you can't tell when they are attracted. The first girl I ever tried to ask out was in junior high, and I was so nervous I just stood there and couldn't say anything. I have avoided conversation and eye contact with her ever since because being around her reminds me of how unbearably awkward I was. She probably thinks I don't like her.



Cafeaulait
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,537
Location: Europe

28 Feb 2013, 6:04 am

By the way, you are not ugly at all. You are average looking. Your hair is quite nice :)
A little bit of eye make-up and taking care of your skin should work wonders :)



Wolfheart
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,971
Location: Kent, England

28 Feb 2013, 6:17 am

Cafeaulait wrote:
By the way, you are not ugly at all. You are average looking. Your hair is quite nice :)
A little bit of eye make-up and taking care of your skin should work wonders :)


I agree, I use this skin regime daily.

Step 1
Apply Quinoderm Facial Wash
Step 2
Apply Forever Young toner with cotton pad, wait 5 minutes
Step 3
Apply Forever Young Vitamin C serum, wait 5 minutes
Step 4
Apply Forever Young Vitamin A moisturiser and EGF Eye Serum

You can find the products by doing a simple search on google and I think they ship to the United States as well.



ArthurDent
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 22 Nov 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 169
Location: The Starship Heart of Gold

28 Feb 2013, 12:28 pm

Catharascotia wrote:
This is what I look like:
http://imgur.com/gallery/4CLwo

My face is unfortunately very crooked :/


You are quite attractive actually with a rather nice face.


_________________
Is There Any Tea on This Spaceship?


AsteroidNap
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jun 2011
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 601
Location: Santa Monica, CA

28 Feb 2013, 8:00 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
..


Why is this member necroing posts again....