exchanging numbers

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so how exactly or when do you ask for the other person's number that your interested in?

no rules on that

inside 30 seconds is my record

Would you be asking them out first? I'd say after you ask them out and they accept, you swap numbers as a routine thing so you can be contacted if running late etc. for the date. "Here's my number."

If it's more of a bar or club situation where you aren't actually asking them on a date but just want to show your interest and maybe catch up another time, then I'd say do it just before you part ways. "Hey, it's been great chatting, can I grab your number?"

If it's an acquaintance who you want to call up on the phone to chat rather than go on a date straight away, I can't help you there. That sounds like my worst nightmare so I'd not give it to you no matter how you worded it or when, haha. But most people aren't as phonecall phobic as me.


Other people are going to have different answers/suggestions so I guess the first response is most accurate: no rules.

Skype saves time and miles without giving your phone number.

An e-mail address is a lot less intimidating to ask for and also less intimidating for the other person to give out. Asking for a phone-number has much more of sexual overtone to it.

I think we really need some context. For example, asking someone for their email address at a bar would be a little odd, wouldn't it?

Stalk, do you have someone in mind or is it a general question?

I'd be a lot less nervous asking for an e-mail than a phone number at a bar. Besides the person being asked could always offer their phone number instead.

i collect numbers and rarely text and never call them. giving out and receiving numbers is no big deal.

thanks guys for the feedback.

I'm trying to find out where and when is appropriate asking for a number for someone you would want to date. I would assume that some sort of dialogue was built up and your not a complete random stranger jumping the person and asking for a phone number/skype/e-mail address.

yellowtamarin, context? Do you mean online or offline, a specific place like a bar or mall? I don't go to bars... well perhaps restaurants since I go to some meetup.com group meetings. But then everybody is seated next to each other at the table. I seems like a strange and awkward thing to ask for someone's number. Maybe it is just me being afraid of getting my ego bruised in front of other people. I guess I don't like it when the spotlight is on me. Feels like I need to run and get away.

I was wondering how so many people in this section mentioned that they text so many potential interests.

how would it be different if I had someone specifically in mind vs a general question? Different approach?

Easier tactic: FB then phone#

I was just asking so I could get an idea of what kind of scenario you would be asking in, and you've clarified that. I'm pretty naive when it comes to this so I don't even know why I'm offering my thoughts, but I would have thought in those sorts of situations it would be like my first example. Rather than asking for a number, you ask for a date. The swapping of numbers is then a practical thing so you can keep in touch if you need to. So the question wouldn't be "can I have your number?" but "would you like to catch up again?" or "want to grab a coffee sometime?" etc.

Boo: Facebook does seem to be an acceptable way to do it. I get frequently asked what my Facebook user is. It happens on OKCupid too. I eventually found out why they ask because apparently a cheater doesn't keep or hand out their Facebook account.

I guess I will simply have to get a Facebook account.

yellowtamarin: thanks for the tips.

^ off topic: I've decided to set my Okc's status to "seeing someone" at the time being, want to try it one by one this time instead of dividing my energy like previous times.

That and to check out more pictures e.g. full body shots.