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when is it too soon to ask a girl to be your girlfreind.

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animefan
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31 Jan 2013, 12:47 am

I live in the dorms at MSSU, and she dose too, she is shy like me but I don't thank she is an aspie. we started talking last semter, then monday we hanged out in my dorm room and watch a move because I'm a broke ass college student.
I was shocked that she show up at my dorms because I never have a girl say they hang out then show.
I just don't want to wait too long and be put in the friend zone



billiscool
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31 Jan 2013, 1:18 am

animefan wrote:
I live in the dorms at MSSU, and she dose too, she is shy like me but I don't thank she is an aspie. we started talking last semter, then monday we hanged out in my dorm room and watch a move because I'm a broke ass college student.
I was shocked that she show up at my dorms because I never have a girl say they hang out then show.
I just don't want to wait too long and be put in the friend zone


yes, you don't want a quasi girlfriend. To be honest, it tough to know when the right time to ask a girl out.
next time you see her, ask her out. that all I can say.



MountainLaurel
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31 Jan 2013, 1:33 am

By college age, a love relationship is generally not formed by asking, 'will you be my girlfriend?' Young adult relationships are forged through what the couple does together, which includes spending much together and intimacy; emotional & physical.



MountainLaurel
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31 Jan 2013, 2:01 am

Oh; timing. There are not generally abrupt starts to couple-hood. It's a process that begins with flirting and progresses along a continuum. Thus the timing/friend-zone fears read here on WP are distorted.



Cei
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31 Jan 2013, 4:56 am

Pretty sure based on stuff my NT friends have said (and some other people besides lonely teenage boys on WP), girls aren't gonna friendzone you once the timer reaches 0, it's more a matter of when they first meet you - whether they're interested in a relationship, where they meet you, how you act at that time, and so on. So, by now, you're either in the friendzone or you're likely to stay out of it.



Jono
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31 Jan 2013, 6:00 am

animefan wrote:
I live in the dorms at MSSU, and she dose too, she is shy like me but I don't thank she is an aspie. we started talking last semter, then monday we hanged out in my dorm room and watch a move because I'm a broke ass college student.
I was shocked that she show up at my dorms because I never have a girl say they hang out then show.
I just don't want to wait too long and be put in the friend zone


Just ask her for a coffee date and then see what she says. Either she'll be interested or she won't but don't wait until she has a boyfriend before asking her on a date.



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31 Jan 2013, 7:06 am

Jono wrote:
animefan wrote:
I live in the dorms at MSSU, and she dose too, she is shy like me but I don't thank she is an aspie. we started talking last semter, then monday we hanged out in my dorm room and watch a move because I'm a broke ass college student.
I was shocked that she show up at my dorms because I never have a girl say they hang out then show.
I just don't want to wait too long and be put in the friend zone


Just ask her for a coffee date and then see what she says. Either she'll be interested or she won't but don't wait until she has a boyfriend before asking her on a date.


the coffee idea is spot on. also, you could ask her if she has any good movies that could be watched in her dorm room. how does one get "put in the friend zone?" is it some University elective class, or airing cupboard? take it one day at a time. if you get a good friend out of it, great. if more, great


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Boxman108
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31 Jan 2013, 10:36 am

Cei wrote:
Pretty sure based on stuff my NT friends have said (and some other people besides lonely teenage boys on WP), girls aren't gonna friendzone you once the timer reaches 0, it's more a matter of when they first meet you - whether they're interested in a relationship, where they meet you, how you act at that time, and so on. So, by now, you're either in the friendzone or you're likely to stay out of it.


That seems a bit creepy to me. How could anyone now whether someone is relationship material only after a first meeting? It's completely illogical. Hoping I don't end up with anyone so hasty and impatient. Problem is finding those who aren't.


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animefan
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31 Jan 2013, 2:44 pm

its not we meet, I start talking right before school let out, then when we came back, I may catch her at dinner some times, but I see around two to threes a week.



Cei
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01 Feb 2013, 4:54 am

Boxman108 wrote:
Cei wrote:
Pretty sure based on stuff my NT friends have said (and some other people besides lonely teenage boys on WP), girls aren't gonna friendzone you once the timer reaches 0, it's more a matter of when they first meet you - whether they're interested in a relationship, where they meet you, how you act at that time, and so on. So, by now, you're either in the friendzone or you're likely to stay out of it.


That seems a bit creepy to me. How could anyone now whether someone is relationship material only after a first meeting? It's completely illogical. Hoping I don't end up with anyone so hasty and impatient. Problem is finding those who aren't.


You can't know. Also, do you have a problem with everyone who cares about first impressions? I mean, I'm not one to judge you for thinking little of most humans, but that would be what you'd be doing, then. You act like it's a conscious decision or something, instead of just how people think.



Boxman108
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01 Feb 2013, 12:11 pm

Cei wrote:
Boxman108 wrote:
Cei wrote:
Pretty sure based on stuff my NT friends have said (and some other people besides lonely teenage boys on WP), girls aren't gonna friendzone you once the timer reaches 0, it's more a matter of when they first meet you - whether they're interested in a relationship, where they meet you, how you act at that time, and so on. So, by now, you're either in the friendzone or you're likely to stay out of it.


That seems a bit creepy to me. How could anyone now whether someone is relationship material only after a first meeting? It's completely illogical. Hoping I don't end up with anyone so hasty and impatient. Problem is finding those who aren't.


You can't know. Also, do you have a problem with everyone who cares about first impressions? I mean, I'm not one to judge you for thinking little of most humans, but that would be what you'd be doing, then. You act like it's a conscious decision or something, instead of just how people think.


People should make a conscious effort not to judge based off of first impressions. It does not matter whether they do it naturally or not, it does not make it right.


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The Old Masters: how well they understood
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01 Feb 2013, 12:16 pm

Well, if you tell them you like them before actually asking for a relationship, it gives them time not to think.


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