I'm absolutely terrified of being considered creepy.

Post Reply New Topic

Not at all! Please do!

Hahaha, I've definitely noticed that when a friend takes a picture of me and tells me to smile, the longer they take to actually press the button, the more I look like a serial killer.

Last edited by ruckus on 30 Jan 2013, 7:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

I love this topic; I'm laughing my head off at the (true) answers here. Since when is the truth so damn funny? Especially since this is real problem.

Nor do women know what all of them are. (Though, let's agree with Redrobin62 and refrain from referring to one's self in the third person.) I was trying to come up with a list of creepy behaviors and could only come up with two;
1) Lurking
2) Diving over the counter at the female pharm tech, each time, to grab your script of Viagra. True story.
This is the problem with women identifying creepy guys; we know it when we see it. AND, it's situational. What's creepy in one context may be; not so much, in another.

Since you have no evidence that anyone finds you creepy, you could resolve to simply banish thinking about being creepy. Much easier said than done if this has become a phobia.

If you truly think this is holding you back; get a coach. Show a printout of this thread to one of your trustworthy women friends and ask her to help you identify creepy. Ask her to quietly point out creepy behavior whenever she detects it in guys as you go about with her. She'll explain why the behavior is creepy. You'll never know what all of the creepy things are, but you would eventually become pretty expert at it. Could be a fun research project.

Our culture is totally messed up. Due to ~10% of the male population being complete monsters, the other 90% have to spend their life walking on eggshells in order to not offend. Just like the comments on that "how to not get maced" link - make one error, she'll brand you as an offender and tell everyone else. Of course, not all the female commenters wanted to do this - but the majority did.

EX-TER-MIN-ATE!! EX-TER-MIN-ATE!!

So what are we, the socially awkward to do? This is tough... really, really tough.

What's more bizarre... when we do everything on that list to be "safe", we also often appear no longer interesting... bland... wimpy.... undateable. Then they go date an aggressive guy anyway (because she can respect him!) "At least he was honest he only wanted sex..."

Advice?? The only thing that comes to mind is, A; relax - if talking/flirting doesn't appear natural, red lights blare. B; if you have female friends, maybe asking one or two in conversation if they know someone that might be interested in dating you. Don't expect a straight answer... (that's against some kind of unspoken code) but maybe an interested person will eventually catch wind of it and start being just a little more friendly than usual?

I really wish people could just be honest and straightforward... blasted head-games.

Move to another country with a less crazy society.

Barring that, testosterone supplements/drugs so you just walk up to women and don't care at all how you're percieved. You'll still be awkward and creepy, but confident. I've personally never tried anything except herbal stuff, but yes.

I think the proper women advice is just to be like "Hey sexy!" to women upon first meeting/seeing them rather than trying to do the normal thing and strike up conversation like with other people. If you're like "Hey sexy! You're so hot!" then women won't think you're a secretly manipulative "nice guy." This of course implies you just wanna get laid and don't care about actually getting to know a person first and are a mere instinctive animal.

Good luck!

Maybe NT girls would find creepy under unique if they owned a thesaurus. You need to chill and look for an Aspie female. If someone finds you repulsive, you are wasting your energy with her. Her friends probably wouldn't like you. It does not matter one bit if she thinks you are creepy or the newspaper tells the entire state. A worthwhile women takes people for themselves. She doesn't believe gossip. You be you. Be genuine. If you come across an Aspie, be very clear. ('Cause, I'm clueless at the time. Years later, realizing, that guy was asking me out. Doh!)

Where do people meet other people with AS? I've met probably under a dozen in my whole life.

Just being introverted or shy does not make a person AS.

EDIT: i am removing my advice because i think you might want to think about labels themselves. you were calling sexually experienced women "whores" in another thread, just because they were known for how many partners they had. this thread is a good chance for you to learn that labels can be hurtful. for someone who is concerned enough about the label of "creepy", you should think twice about slapping a label like that on women (who were apparently actually interested in you!).

Wow. I'm glad I saw this.

Well, here's what I was going to say up until the last bit posted by Lexi.

Being considered a creep by damn near everyone you meet really does suck, and you'd do right to not underestimate the women's network (or women in general). If one woman thinks you're a creep, all her female friends will find out within days. And despite what catsup said, in my experience, the only couple women who have ever been interested in me in any romantic type of way have discovered that most others think I'm a creep, and I'm guessing this is part of what scared them away from me. Because of this, I rarely talk to women anymore other than the ones at my job, the couple female friends I have IRL, and the couple female friends I have on WP.

The problem is figuring out why people think you're a creep. If you're someone who does nothing creepy, and keep to yourself most of the time, you have to wonder if maybe you're just naturally repulsive or something. It's.....not fun. It's a huge blow to the self-esteem as well.

I'd say for the most part, Max hit the nail on the head as well. There is a catch-22. In trying to not offend, we're seen as wimps, and some women end up going out with the creeps who only want sex. Then that gets justified as not being creepy since the guy outright said they wanted to f***. IMO taking advantage of a woman for her body is pretty creepy, even if the guy is honest and says that's all he wants, but that's a discussion for another thread. All this s**t was caused by actual creeps, so it's thanks to them that we have to walk on eggshells around women.

Like that old song says, "head games, I don't wanna play 'em, head games!" *guitar riff*

Some women tell me, I'm doing all right. Others tell me, my persistence is off-putting. So it seems, if they already made their mind up about me then that's it. I can't change it. Which I guess leads to the question on how to create a better first impression when you have to deal with anxiety at the same time.

People that regularly lie or steal from others are "creepy".

I know it's shocking that the term can easily apply to both genders in a non-sexual context. </sarcasm>

They aren't actually interested in me, specifically. These women are the female equivalent of the male PUA prick that I can't stand either. Half of them had boyfriends at the time. There is a difference between a "sexually experienced woman" and a "whore". Experienced women have class about it, and don't literally move from one of your friends, to you, to another one of your friends within 15 minutes, within full view of all three, the way a "whore" does (BTW this has happened to me on more than one occasion). I can respect experienced women, and have many friends who could be considered "experienced women", who do NOT do what I just described. What I can't respect is anyone, male or female, that goes out and has sex with random strangers just to prove he or she can do it. Personally, I find those women to be "creepy". Know the circumstances and MY definitions before you start slapping labels on ME for being some kind of misogynistic creep.

Last edited by Pabalebo on 30 Jan 2013, 12:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.

this is usually terrible advice. Most societies have the same problems.

i didn't label you as anything at all, you should notice. look at my post above you, and read it verrrrrrry carefully. i didn't put a single label or insult in there, so if YOU think that calling a woman a whore makes you a "misogynistic creep", that is YOUR self-imposed insult and it is absolutely nothing that i said (or even implied ).

all i am suggesting is for you to treat other people as you expected to be treated. you should think twice before you start throwing around insulting words because they hurt. you are not making a good example of yourself. basically, if you want people to help you to avoid getting insulted, maybe don't throw around insults about other people.

by the way, it doesn't matter to me what your personal definition of "whore" is, because it doesn't resemble the dictionary definition and you intended it to be derogatory.