Did I blow it, Did I not, or was it NT/AS miscomunication

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myeyesseekreality
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27 Dec 2006, 12:24 pm

:? I've been talking to this gorgeous woman when I get to Jack in the Box, and the mexican restraunt. She works at both places. I asked her out a month ago she said she'll think about it, and get back to me. I saw her 10 minutes ago when I went to get breakfast for my dogs, and myself. We talked a little, and I told her my offer still stands. She replied when she gets off. I went back and asked her when she gets off. She said she meant when she gets a day off from her 2 jobs, and she'll tell me when I come in to one of the restraunts. I asked her for her number being my clueless one tracked mind self I didn't realize it was getting busy in there, and she said it's busy I'll talk to you latter I apologized, and left. I'm so pissed off at myself I could bash my own head in. Did I screw up, Did I not screw up, or was it another example of NT's being full of it, and not being honest, and saying hey I'm not interested. :( :oops: :? :? :?



Gamester
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27 Dec 2006, 1:04 pm

uh.......canna answer that one.



alex
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27 Dec 2006, 1:18 pm

It's very hard to tell people you don't "like" them. You worry about hurting their feelings. I think her not giving you her number means its less likely that she's interested. Anyway, girls tend not to need a month to think about going on a date with someone they're interested in.

Anyway, I think you should keep trying and ask more girls out. That way when you meet the right person, you'll have enough practice.

It's *all* about practice. If you don't ask out tons of girls and get rejected a bunch of times, you won't have enough experience.

And DO NOT take rejections personally. In fact, you should go out and get rejected a bunch of times, just so you realize that you gotta get rejected 10, 20, hell, even 40 times before you can get one yes.

Think about it this way, girls are constantly being hit on. Really hot girls get hit on even more. It's nothing personal to be rejected by a girl. You have no idea why you get rejected. It's usually nothing to do with you, and more to do with the fact that girls reject multiple people each day and you gotta play the odds.

I know it sounds wrong to treat this as a numbers game, but seriously, asking lots of girls out is the only way to ensure that you get into a relationship.

in fact, my first long term relationship (which lasted 3 months) resulted after 15 rejections which all occurred in one lunch period. The last girl I asked apparently had a crush on my for quite some time. I would have never known this if I hadn't used a brute force approach. Although, I wasn't even looking for a girlfriend when I did this; just a date to the prom. But it turned into much more than that.l

Obviously, my example is an extreme, and may not have worked, if the 16th girl hadn't been there. But, I increased the odds of finding such a girl by doing what I did. Although, I got rejected by 15 girls in front of other ones, which probably wasn't ideal, the odds were in my favor in a weird way.

Don't take rejections personally!

Regards,
alex


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Last edited by alex on 27 Dec 2006, 5:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

myeyesseekreality
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27 Dec 2006, 1:48 pm

No I don't take them personally. It's just that before my last relationship that lasted 6 years, and 8 months. I could always get a number, or a date. I can't seem to now, and it's frustrating. Of course my ex liked few people as well, and I forgot all the things I learned to seem normal. Yet back when I hid who I was I was miserable so I wont do it, and asking NT women out is more practice than anything, because I wont have anything serious with an NT again due to the fact that all my relationships with NT's ended real bad, real quick. I stim alot, and I've never been able to hide it as well as others. :?



myeyesseekreality
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29 Dec 2006, 2:20 am

myeyesseekreality wrote:
No I don't take them personally. It's just that before my last relationship that lasted 6 years, and 8 months. I could always get a number, or a date. I can't seem to now, and it's frustrating. Of course my ex liked few people as well, and I forgot all the things I learned to seem normal. Yet back when I hid who I was I was miserable so I wont do it, and asking NT women out is more practice than anything, because I wont have anything serious with an NT again due to the fact that all my relationships with NT's ended real bad, real quick. I stim alot, and I've never been able to hide it as well as others. :?
O.K. That sounds bad. I'm not that kind of jerk.



Popsicle
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03 Jan 2007, 8:28 pm

I think she was trying to let you down nicely.



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03 Jan 2007, 9:57 pm

Oh I'm familiar with all these stall and delay tactics. I've seen it all. I've lived it all. I am it all.

Quote:
I asked her out a month ago she said she'll think about it, and get back to me.


She wasn't going to get back to you. She just said that to temporarily placate you and make her getaway before you tried asking again. And of course to spare your feelings.


Quote:
I saw her 10 minutes ago when I went to get breakfast for my dogs, and myself. We talked a little, and I told her my offer still stands. She replied when she gets off. I went back and asked her when she gets off. She said she meant when she gets a day off from her 2 jobs, and she'll tell me when I come in to one of the restraunts.


Ah yes, the vagueness. A true symptom of the stall and delay tactics. That and the "don't call us we'll call you." She's trying to spray am inky cloud of vagueness and confusion and is trying to make her getaway. Not setting a date is a great way to avoid accountability. Kind of like Iraq. If you don't set a concrete date, they can't get mad when that day comes.


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myeyesseekreality
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05 Jan 2007, 3:15 am

I sort of thought so. I figured I wasn't her type when I talked to her, she's not to bright. She seems nice, but I cant stand dumb women. She was hot body wise. I asked another woman out who is smart, she doesn't have as great of a body, but she has the most beautiful face, and she has a nice body, just not tiny, she's a mother. She is my type unlike the other one. This one said yes, I'm afraid I'll screw it up like usual. My Aspergerisms tend to send them in other directions. I've known her as an aquaintence for a year now, and she's a great woman. I told her about AS though, and she didn't figuratively run far away like the last one I told. That's a good sign right? :D



myeyesseekreality
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05 Jan 2007, 3:15 am

I sort of thought so. I figured I wasn't her type when I talked to her, she's not to bright. She seems nice, but I cant stand dumb women. She was hot body wise. I asked another woman out who is smart, she doesn't have as great of a body, but she has the most beautiful face, and she has a nice body, just not tiny, she's a mother. She is my type unlike the other one. This one said yes, I'm afraid I'll screw it up like usual. My Aspergerisms tend to send them in other directions. I've known her as an aquaintence for a year now, and she's a great woman. I told her about AS though, and she didn't figuratively run far away like the last one I told. That's a good sign right? :D



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06 Jan 2007, 2:55 pm

Yes, I'd say it is a good sign - it means she is open minded, at the very least.

At least, that is how I interpret it. It could also mean she doesn't know what Aspergers is and doesn't really care what it is. Which, I guess, means she isn't CLOSED minded, or she'd go look it up to make sure it isn't something she hates. ;-)

She sounds like a good person, good luck.



myeyesseekreality
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06 Jan 2007, 5:43 pm

Popsicle wrote:
Yes, I'd say it is a good sign - it means she is open minded, at the very least.

At least, that is how I interpret it. It could also mean she doesn't know what Aspergers is and doesn't really care what it is. Which, I guess, means she isn't CLOSED minded, or she'd go look it up to make sure it isn't something she hates. ;-)

She sounds like a good person, good luck.
She is pretty cool, and thank you for wishing me good luck. :D