How to talk to a guy without seeming creepy

Post Reply New Topic

Over the past few weeks in one of my lectures, I've noticed this cute guy that usually sits around where I usually go. He doesn't seem to know anyone in this said lecture because I haven't seeing him sitting near or talking to any of the other students. I don't even know his name, but I find him quite attractive. I want to try to talk to him, but I don't want to come off as being a total creeper. I don't want to talk to him as if I'm directly hitting on him, but I'm not sure how to start a friendly conversation that doesn't make it seem like I'm hitting on him. I could just ask for his name, major, etc, but I don't know how to sart the conversation. Should I just ask him to borrow a pencil or something. I am so bad at these things. What should I do?

No. Just be yourself. Why do so many people feel like they have to put on an act? As if that act will prove to be more of a successful recipe than instinct. Trust your gut. I know it's not easy and it's nerve wracking, but in all honesty, if he thinks you are creepy, then he isn't worth your time.

Good luck.

Girls really can't be creepy in the same way that guys are. Maybe if you're gross and over sexual like Temperance Bones, but I've never met anyone like that in real life. You don't seem to be that way. If you're cute, it's almost impossible for a girl to be creepy under normal circumstances. So go for it.

Last edited by Tyri0n on 06 Feb 2013, 2:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thanks! I don't want to put on an act. I just want to start a friendly conversation with him without seeming like I'm hardcore hitting on him. I'm just not entirely sure how to start the conversation.

Another thing -

Even if you do hit on a guy, even if he doesn't feel the same way about you, it's still flattering, not creepy. Girls have a heightened sensitivity to creeps for instinctive safety reasons. Guys with certain characteristics are more likely to be rapists. The same does not apply to guys to nearly the same extent. We can be grossed out, but we're not going to be scared. Particularly if he is shy, he'll appreciate the overture, even if he's not interested.

They certainly can be scary like that.

Yep, the worst stalker I ever had was a girl!! !!

OP: Unless you're a stalker or you're ugly (I'm not saying that you are), you probably won't creep him out.

Girls can certainly be creepy in the same way guys are. However, it is true that there is a double standard in society which makes this perception of women considerably rarer than men.

You'll probably be fine in any case. I'd say go for it.

Don't worry about creeping him out unless you do things like start following him around (without talking to him) or collecting his used tissues. Even if he is gay, he will be flattered. Everyone loves to feel wanted by another person. And hey, if he happens to be an aspie too, the only way to get across the point that you're interested may be to actually hit on him really hard

A smile goes a long way toward reducing the creep factor. So does sticking to pleasant and neutral subjects of discussion.

Just walk up to him, smile, and ask him if he could walk you to your next class, have lunch with you, or just go over some lecture notes together. Some other tips:

- Let someone you can trust know where the two of you will be, and how long you expect to be there.

- Keep the conversation pleasant, and take note if he expresses any anger, aggression, or hostility towards women (especially past girlfriends or his mother). If he does, then he may not be your best choice for a friend.

- Dress comfortably, but not provocatively. Trust me, unless you are a master of disguise, he will be well aware of the fact that you are a woman without you putting your feminine assets out on public display.

- Listen to what he says. We men do not often express ourselves adequately; ask us how we are, and we're likely to just say "Fine". Ask a woman the same question, and you're likely to hear an account of her day and how she felt before, during, and after each incident. This is not true everywhere and all of the time, but it seems to be the way to bet.

- Do not let him lure you into a situation where the two of you will be alone and isolated. Get to know him first, and if he seems to be trying to "compromise your virtue" in any way, stop seeing him. If you say "No" to sex, and he does it to you anyway, then it's rape. You do NOT want that.

Be careful, and be well.

That's a great idea... if a girl had ever done this to me I would have proverbial butterflies in my stomach.

If you don't want to be that forward, you could do what I did with girls I wanted to meet when I was in college. After class I would approach them with a smile and just say "hey." They almost always responded with some form of greeting, and then I would follow with a question asking their opinion on something relating to the lecture or class. That would usually start a conversation. I almost never had the guts to take it further, but I think the next logical thing would be to ask if they want to get together for coffee or something to compare notes or homework or something like that.

I always found studying with other people to be excruciating, and going over homework to mean I was correcting other people's answers and explaining to them why they were wrong, but in retrospect I think maybe it would have been a good idea to have done those things with people purely with the mindset of having a social event and not see it as just a waste of my study time.

Just talk to him like you would to any girl. Its not like men are from a different planet or anything

I actually had two girls hack into one of my hotmail accounts and retrieve some private information about me from it. They should be glad I didn't know them in person.

Yes, but they have to "try harder".
Talking to a guy once (or even twice) is definitely not creepy.
...unless you yell across the classroom or something like that.


I was also bullied by girls, so I can confirm this. But they were bullying me on purpose.

You beat me to it. A genuine, friendly smile (not awkward/forced) and occasional blinking will go a long way.

I also don't propose long-term commitment like marriage, babies or grafting your body permanently to his.