Does anyone know about NPD?

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I'm new here. I am a woman in my mid-late twenties who was diagnosed with Asperger's in my early twenties. I have been married for almost two years and it has been really bad (physical and emotional abuse on occasion, etc), and just very confusing. I recently started doing some research and I am strongly concerned that my husband had Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I realize I haven't given much detail to my specific situation, but is anyone familiar with this disorder? I am specifically looking for information as it pertains to long-term relationships, as everything I have been reading says run for the hills because they will drain you dry. I feel like I have been drained dry for sure, it is hard to even make it through the day. everything is an invalidation and a manipulation and a lie. I am also very disappointed in myself because I do believe that my naivety allowed me to be manipulated by this person. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

to the OP, Welcome to WP

Also, please don't beat yourself up for marrying a narcissist. Live and learn. Put all your resources into getting out right now.

Two years ago I was on track to be in your situation. I was intensely and rapidly pursued by a guy who reeked so strongly of narcissism that I got out very early, but he was the last in a string of similar relationships. Very early on I told him about my suspicions that I had autistic traits, although I didn't label them as such. I was 23 at the time and had just started learning about the spectrum. I hope you don't mind if I share some details of my story, as it's still sort of fresh and I'm trying to work through it.
Growing up in a family with a long history of destructive narcissistic behavior, I was very attracted to this kind of person. I even exhibited some of the same behaviors. Deep down I thought, this guy seems to be successful and powerful, if I tag along he'll take me where I want to end up, and I can pursue my own grandiose dreams.
He was very charming and sexy, but I wish I had heeded my initial reservations about his personality. I already had a long distance boyfriend whom I had consciously decided to pursue after many failed attempts with these charming boys. We were sort of in an open relationship, but I sensed that the new guy would not agree to that because he was already asking who I was talking to every time I checked my phone. I broke off the long distance relationship even though I had already started to fall in love with him.
Things went from exciting to a startling series of red flags. I made the decision to call it off after things started moving way too fast. We had barely met and he wanted me to move in, was impulsively buying me expensive gifts I didn't want, and promising me the world. Yet he didn't seem to respect my principles or really listen to me.
I'm so lucky that my original love interest took me back, but I'm still learning how to forgive myself for hurting the person I loved most.
I want to encourage you to forgive yourself, and start inspecting your own concerns about attachment, despite the potential difficulty of revisiting childhood memories. I'm only beginning to understand my childhood and how my relationship with my parents and their relationship to each other has shaped me. They were together for nearly 30 years before finally pulling the plug, but I was begging them to end it since elementary school. Had they divorced while I was still in school, it might have been equally terrible living with either one.
Someday maybe I'll have a chance to work with an experienced therapist who will get me to "a-hah!" moments a lot faster, but for now I'm sorting through the wealth of information online and in books, and spending more time with people who respect me.
The biggest lesson I've learned is the cliche, "you can't change other people, you can only change yourself." This is especially true with narcissists. You can imagine how he'll probably react if you confront him with this your suspicions. Narcissists don't have the mechanism in place to see their real self in the mirror, and may react aggressively. But if you start looking deeper into yourself and learn to set boundaries, you can better protect yourself and your loved ones from their destructive habits.

Thank you for the responses. I guess I am still trying to figure out what the final straw should be, or if it is possible to make it work.

RUN FOR THE HILLS!! !

I am in the process of divorcing my husband whom I suspect has NPD. He fits almost all of the criteria. I didn't know this was what I was dealing with until a friend of mine who divorced her husband last year told me he had NPD and she strongly suspected that mine had it as well. Sure enough I did the research and I'm all but sure of it. Now that I look back on the 17 1/2 years I was married to him I see NPD written all over. And even now that we are divorcing it's a struggle. Everything is about what he wants. Even when he has been ordered by the court to do certain things, he still takes the 'I'll do what I want approach'. The only reason I feel it wasn't a complete failure is because I have 2 beautiful children. But their father is a complete mess. I thought he just needed time to mature. We had been together since we were very young. I figured at some point he would get over himself and stop being selfish. Now at the age of 38 he is still stuck on himself and I'm moving on. I attribute the demise of our relationship to his NPD. No he hasn't been clinically diagnosed however if one is narcissistic and believes nothing is wrong with them, how will you ever get them into a psychologist's office?

Here are the criteria as defined by a medical encyclopedia:

React to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation

Take advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals

Have excessive feelings of self-importance

Exaggerate achievements and talents

Be preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love

Have unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment

Need constant attention and admiration

Disregard the feelings of others, and have little ability to feel empathy

Have obsessive self-interest

Pursue mainly selfish goals

Actually my husband fits all of the criteria.

Thank you so much for the reply. I'm really glad I posted this here. It's kind of hard for me to generalize and put a real life situation into a category like that, but I would say he fits at least seven, and from reading about how other relationships have gone with people with NPD, things have become so clear and just fit and make sense. I also don't think he would get diagnosed because he is a charmer and makes things seem like my fault and like because of my Asperger's, I don't understand situations (that I know I do understand). I'm confused because right now he's in an an "I'm going to work on the relationship" phase, but continues to blame me for things, so maybe I shouldn't put too much faith in that, it's just something making it more confusing.

I get what you mean about "why didn't they tell me?", my mom just started telling me some things that he has been saying to her like calling her a jerk and saying she'll never be allowed to step foot in the house again if she does certain things and how my mom always suspected he wasn't a good guy. It's like, tell me that before I marry him ugh!