Dating but not knowing the first thing

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ZombieBrideXD
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18 Feb 2013, 11:59 pm

Obviously as a 16 year old, i tend to have curiosities of the "opposite sex" however, i have no idea how i get boyfriends in the first place, nor do i understand why they break up with me afterwards. ive had a few (not recently though) and ive had my "PG 14 A" moments i guess but thats only based on TV and comics. lately ive been wanting a relationship, any dating advice? (i know asking aspies for dating advice is sort of a dead end, but you never know)



goldfish21
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19 Feb 2013, 12:48 am

I'm not sure this qualifies as dating advice, because at almost twice your age I'm still not much further along lol in terms of having a long term relationship, anyways. But this is what came to mind when I read your post:

Be yourself. If it doesn't workout with someone, or many someone's, then they aren't the right person for you. Further than that, don't make your own happiness dependant on having a relationship with someone else at all. Learn to be happy with yourself on your own terms. Sure, you can still be happy with someone else - but during times that you're solo, if your own happiness is not dependant on having someone else in your life as a relationship partner, you'll live a much better, less stressed, less anxious, less depressed, happier more present life for it.

I continue to work on these things for myself, too, and over time I've become a much happier person even though my situation hasn't changed any - only my perceptions of it. Then if things do change again in the future & I end up in a relationship, there may be a different happiness in my life. But if they don't change, or they change back again, so be it - I've learned to be very content with myself, being solo, and also enjoying my solitude. It's made me a better me for my few closest friends to be around when I see them, too.

But still, date & learn and grow and experience to your heart's content - just don't make succeeding at it quickly or masterfully any sort of mental criteria that you must fulfill in order to be happy. Just be happy with yourself & no one around first and foremost, then you can be happy with or without someone.



Drone
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19 Feb 2013, 11:05 am

I believe this might get more replies if it had been placed into the love and dating section. I can sympathize with you in that I would like to tart dating soon as well and know little about it, but unlike you I have no experience whatsoever.



TallyMan
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19 Feb 2013, 12:49 pm

(Thread moved from Autism discussion to L&D)


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Wolfheart
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19 Feb 2013, 1:37 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet ZombieBride :)

The best piece of advice I can probably give is don't compromise your priorities or goals for someone else, someone who loves you should support your goals and dreams.



Wolfheart
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19 Feb 2013, 1:48 pm

General dating? Don't go on about yourself self obsessively, try to keep things light and try to make the date fun, make the other person have fun and you'll find yourself having fun.



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20 Feb 2013, 3:29 am

Ask him questions that you like to know about himself, and let him ask questions about yourself.


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RomanBernabel
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21 Feb 2013, 11:11 pm

: never dated; no advice.