"Why are you single?"

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12 Mar 2013, 12:23 pm

Probably due to my morals. I want to make sure for instance the potential husband comes from good family background. If he is close to his parents and treats them kindly I like that. This is a huge Asian thing.

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V_for_Verbose
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13 Mar 2013, 11:36 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

It's funny how even 30+ single women, even the ones I met through dating sites, ask the famous irrelevant question "Why are you single?" in a surprised tone.

Am I supposed to not be single yet browsing a dating site?

I mean hello? I wouldn't be dating her if I wasn't single, Duh!!

My usual answer is something like "Do you want to date a taken man instead?" or "because....you found me on a dating site?" or "and why are you?"

The answer to your question is easy- because it is unfathomable for a NT woman to consider the possibility that a guy might have been single for a long time, particularly if they have a neurological disorder like autism, that impairs his ability to interact socially with others.

When I've told women that I've been single most of my life, they are surprised too, because I come across as a nice guy. It is a cultural norm for people to have dating experience, and when an individual hasn't had dating experience in the past, it blows their minds, because it goes against the cultural norm of dating, and the stereotype that guys date often, and having a lot of dating experience.

Welcome to the wonderful world of autism, ladies! :lol:

As for "Why am I single?", that's simple. I'm way too picky, my expectations are too high, I haven't applied the knowledge or tactics I've learned about how to attract women into practice yet, and I'm slightly apathetic after years of being single.

1000Knives
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13 Mar 2013, 11:40 pm

"Because you're not going out with me yet."

ripped
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14 Mar 2013, 2:55 am

^^^ This ^^^

Girl: 'So, why are you single?'

Guy: ( Deadpan voice ) 'Because we haven't slept together yet.'

goldfish21
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14 Mar 2013, 7:03 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

It's funny how even 30+ single women, even the ones I met through dating sites, ask the famous irrelevant question "Why are you single?" in a surprised tone.

Am I supposed to not be single yet browsing a dating site?

I mean hello? I wouldn't be dating her if I wasn't single, Duh!!

My usual answer is something like "Do you want to date a taken man instead?" or "because....you found me on a dating site?" or "and why are you?"

I only read the first page of the thread so not sure if this was covered or not.. if they're asking in a surprised tone, they're probably surprised that you're single. If you're an attractive fit healthy person with a decently positive attitude and make a good first impression, chances are they're surprised to be meeting you as a single person and expect that someone with your qualities would have long since been taken.

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14 Mar 2013, 12:54 pm

goldfish21 wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Yes that'll be it! :lol:

The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Mar 2013, 2:23 pm

Either way, it's an annoying question.

nessa238
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14 Mar 2013, 2:24 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Either way, it's an annoying question.

I've had the 'not married?' or 'no children?' surprised question a lot - it doesn't bother me - it's just other peoples' stupid assumptions re what's the norm

uwmonkdm
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14 Mar 2013, 2:35 pm

I barely go outside.

nessa238
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14 Mar 2013, 2:36 pm

uwmonkdm wrote:

I barely go outside.

I don't either

Cafeaulait
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14 Mar 2013, 2:50 pm

I am single because I am ugly.

Growlithe
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14 Mar 2013, 4:42 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:

I am single because I am ugly.

Nope. You're single because you lack self-confidence.

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14 Mar 2013, 5:08 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:

I am single because I am ugly.

I don't know about that, but my observations are:

Even girls that would, by the usual standards, qualify as "not so attractive", do often have boyfriends.
When guys refer to girls as "ugly", it's usually due to their behavior, sometimes also for their clothing style, but rarely due to their body.

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14 Mar 2013, 5:49 pm

Because I'm autistic its that simple most women flee at the mention of autism.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Mar 2013, 6:34 pm

Vectorspace wrote:

Cafeaulait wrote:

I am single because I am ugly.

I don't know about that, but my observations are:

Even girls that would, by the usual standards, qualify as "not so attractive", do often have boyfriends.
When guys refer to girls as "ugly", it's usually due to their behavior, sometimes also for their clothing style, but rarely due to their body.

I saw her pic, she is gorgeous.

But your second point isn't very true, guys aren't that ideal, not at all.

ps: and no, don't pm me about her pic. I would ignore you.

nessa238
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14 Mar 2013, 6:50 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Vectorspace wrote:

Cafeaulait wrote:

I am single because I am ugly.

I don't know about that, but my observations are:

Even girls that would, by the usual standards, qualify as "not so attractive", do often have boyfriends.
When guys refer to girls as "ugly", it's usually due to their behavior, sometimes also for their clothing style, but rarely due to their body.

I saw her pic, she is gorgeous.

But your second point isn't very true, guys aren't that ideal, not at all.

ps: and no, don't pm me about her pic. I would ignore you.

I knew she was

Because my theory re attractive people having all the advantages and attractiveness being what everyone wants is invariably disputed mainly by the attractive people as they are the main beneficiaries of it so they're not going to want to trash a system that's suiting them very nicely! They live in a delusional bubble whereby they think others are generally benign and aren't all over them just for how they look (when they are really)

I think they can't accept this because their identity is strongly fused with how they look and it would probably cause some kind of psychological meltdown if they knew the extent to which other peoples' interest in them was all about their looks and little else.

The looks would need to vanish overnight for them to realise it - something which rarely happens so they never get to experience their world becoming very different without the luxury of their looks.

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