Why 3 days and not 2 or 4?

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So why does everyone say you should wait 3 days to call or text after a first date? I have always been of the opinion that two days or 4 days is better. You want to be far enough out that she doesn't think you're desperate but close enough that she won't forget about you. If the girl is higher-status than you, I think 4 days is better.

I've also heard some women say that 3 days is the MAXIMUM they would be willing to wait before they would just ignore the guy.

So why isn't it the two-day rule? And is two days really worse than 3 days, and why is 3 better than 4?

I would personally have liked a next day text...but then again, I don't play into the social rules either... I'm clueless.

I would like a next day text too.

Measuring the length of time to text is not natural imo.

I'm pretty sure there are no rules as to when to re-initiate contact. A woman who wants to hear from you will respond positively if you call 1,2,3,4,5,....days later.

Dating is all about how 2 people relate to one another. How many days to wait is minutia.

If someone texts me the day of, or even the next day, I can't help but feel that they have lower social/dating value. Since I'm not NT and feel this way, I wonder if NT's (especially girls!) feel that way even more so. Is this possible?

Anything is possible. But NT women go by gut feeling more than anything. If she felt good during the time spent with you, she will want to see you again.

You are focusing very narrowly in this question about days to call back.

It might be more profitable to focus on enjoying your time when you're actually present with the women. I think that's where guys with AS fail. They are so focused on their anxieties they don't actually enjoy their time with her.

Being with someone who is enjoying himself is contagious.

I always either have a brief call of text the day after, just to let them know I enjoyed everything...I think it's only polite. I think the whole waiting thing is ridiculous, because if both people had a good time and are interested in each other, then obviously they both want to know how the other feels about things as well. I think the main people who advocate waiting 3-4 days are the PUA people, and I wouldn't buy in to a lot of those tactics. It's like saying "OK, I had a really great time with this person and I'd love to see them again, but I'm going to pretend that I don't care an ounce about them for the next week so they won't think I'm desperate"

The girl in question actually texted me the next afternoon. So I guess she doesn't follow rules either.

Last edited by Tyri0n on 03 Mar 2013, 10:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

.k

Last edited by Tyri0n on 03 Mar 2013, 10:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I"m no expert but I think the '3 day rule' that you speak of has been around a long time. Since then people have become far closer in the sense that there are a gazillion more ways to communicate. Texting, social media, email etc. Before it might have seemed odd to call the day after, since you would have had to do it the old school way on the landline phone, at which point people needed a much more solid 'reason' for initiating communication. You didn't just call someone on the landline to say 'hey look at what i'm having for dinner tonight' (akin to people taking pictures of their food and posting them online).

Now with the ubiquity of the internet, people communicate the most inane and banal things...what they had for breakfast, whether their favourite show is on tv that day, commentary on the news etc. Communication is much more free and fast, and definitely more trivial, although that's another thread.

I think the 3 day rule is outdated. If someone waited 3 days to contact me, I'd think there was no interest there because it would be an 'unusual' person if they hadn't been able to communicate within that time given the multitude of communication tools available us today.

I wouldn't wait that long honestly.. if you guys really got along I'd just send a short text the same night.. say something like "Had a really great time, lets do it again some time soon"


If you get a reply then I'd guess you get your second date.. if not then you can write it off sooner..

The guys I have dated who were pursuing me seriously all text or called the next day. They also always kept in contact daily from the beginning. It was the consistency and frequency that let me know they were serious about it. It's how I know a) they're actually interested and b) they're serious (A relates to frequency, B relates to consistency).

Mind you... if you're just dating, you don't know the girl that well but you don't want anything serious or you aren't really interested in her - then go the 2-4 day timeframe. You are communicating a lack of interest by doing that - the only reason would be to make her think you are not desperate or to make her work harder to get your attention. Either way it could backfire if she is used to really decent guys (most women aren't - but you're in the situation so you would know).

Anyone who has done the 4 day thing, or sometimes once a week thing I have always dropped before the 4th date. They clearly aren't interested if the contact isn't consistent or isn't at least started to increase in frequency by that point.

I don't text, but it seems to me that a simple "HD GD TYM LST NYT THX" followed by "AGN?" might be nice to receive the next day.

I thought that rule sounded like one of those things where you try to act like you're not interested in the girl so that she's more interested in you things. I don't think the exact number of days you wait really matters, like what half the other posters have said.

Never heard of that rule, I usually message my boyfriend after I get home.

The 3-day rule applies to early dating, not when they're already your partner.