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Taybot97
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11 Mar 2013, 4:35 pm

So I've this past year become friends with I girl and the past few months decided I like her for more than just that. Although I don't know how to go about making it happen. I've thought about it, and have a basic plan of how I may go about doing this but not sure if it would work. I was thinking of finding a way to get her phone number, while I could just get the number from a mutual friend I want to avoid coming across as creepy. Once I have a way to communicate with her outside of school I would invite her somewhere simple like lunch.
When we do end up hanging out, I think, would be the best time to tell her: she isn't under the social pressure she would be if other people we knew were there and if she doesn't like me back we still get a nice meal, and i'll know she doesn't like me that way so I can try to move on.

I've thought about a good way to try to advance for a while and this is the best I can come up with. Although I don't entirely know how to start going about it. Even in just a friendly way how can I get someone's phone number? I don't have a reason (at least one I can tell her) as to why I need her number, or is "I want a way to communicate with you outside of school" good enough?
I'm just scared to try anything unless I'm certain its the best option because I like this girl more than any other crush I've had before and if she does like me I don't want to accidentally give her a reason to rethink that (like if I got her number not from her and she thought it was creepy).

Maybe I'm overthinking this but like I said I want to eliminate as much room for error as I can. And lastly sorry if this reads awkward, writing is one often weak points and I've already rewritten this three times. I just want to know how to do this and get it done simply without me screwing up my own chances, wording doesn't matter anymore to me.



uwmonkdm
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11 Mar 2013, 4:46 pm

You've been friends for months and don't have her phone number? ... :shrug:



Taybot97
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11 Mar 2013, 6:19 pm

uwmonkdm wrote:
You've been friends for months and don't have her phone number? ... :shrug:


I have friends at school but don't usually desire to be social with them outside of that. So most people whose number I have is from them asking me for it not the pthe way around, although I'm sure I got a few from asking for it, but even some of those would have been for a reason such as a group project. In my mind anything done on pirpose needs a reason, and "I want to be able to talk to you more" hasn't been a good enough reason to justify me asking. Also while I like some social interaction I'm absolutely terrified by it too, so even though she is easy for me to talk to (one reason why I like her, some people are hard for me to talk to but not her) I'm too scared to bring up the subject.



aspiemike
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11 Mar 2013, 6:37 pm

Is this the same girl that one of your friends liked? I am actually curious as to how you got to this point now.



BlueMax
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11 Mar 2013, 6:50 pm

Lean in really close, open your eyes really wide (don't blink!) and slowly breathe the words, "I liiikee youuuuu..."
Image

You've already been spending time with each other... is it really this hard? Unless you're hopelessly stuck in the friendzone...



Taybot97
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11 Mar 2013, 6:58 pm

aspiemike wrote:
Is this the same girl that one of your friends liked? I am actually curious as to how you got to this point now.


No, this is a different girl. I always kinda like her in the back of my mind but when I came to the realization the other one liked my friend back and I didn't have a chance I also realized just how much I actually like this girl. Honestly I'm kinda happy, the new girl is a much better match for and I was too pre-occupied with the other girl to notice it. For example, the old girl is alergic to cats and the new one wants to be a vet, I live whith a cat who I wouldn't get rid of so a small detail like this actually plays a big role in which relationship would work.


Edit: and to reply to bluemax, we haven't been spending time together. Not much anyway, I have a chance to talk to her during our English class and occationally during our second peoiod (which we both don't have a class). I'm probably overthinking this, I overthink things a lot.



Last edited by Taybot97 on 11 Mar 2013, 7:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Growlithe
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11 Mar 2013, 7:30 pm

Hand her a note in class and write on it, I like you do you like me?

Wait till she responds back.



cozysweater
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11 Mar 2013, 10:42 pm

Taybot97 wrote:
aspiemike wrote:
Is this the same girl that one of your friends liked? I am actually curious as to how you got to this point now.


No, this is a different girl. I always kinda like her in the back of my mind but when I came to the realization the other one liked my friend back and I didn't have a chance I also realized just how much I actually like this girl. Honestly I'm kinda happy, the new girl is a much better match for and I was too pre-occupied with the other girl to notice it. For example, the old girl is alergic to cats and the new one wants to be a vet, I live whith a cat who I wouldn't get rid of so a small detail like this actually plays a big role in which relationship would work.


Edit: and to reply to bluemax, we haven't been spending time together. Not much anyway, I have a chance to talk to her during our English class and occationally during our second peoiod (which we both don't have a class). I'm probably overthinking this, I overthink things a lot.


Ask her if she'd like to get coffee together. Or lunch. This equals a short space of time, during the day, that isn't as heavy as a date but isn't as light as just hanging out. Also it's pretty easy to play it off like you just like her as a person if she interjects at some point that she has a boyfriend/girlfriend/isn't interested in you romantically.



muff
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11 Mar 2013, 11:02 pm

Growlithe wrote:
Hand her a note in class and write on it, I like you do you like me?

Wait till she responds back.


yup, try the note thing.

also, remember that if you are not a creep, then you should not fear being creepy; just put that out of your mind.

you must have at least one common interest, right? tell her you might be up to something related to it, but you're not sure yet. youll text her over the weekend when your plans are finalized if shed like to join in or come along.

please dont tell her you like her in a setting that allows for 'her escape.' unconsciously, she could recognize this as you preparing to be left down. even if you have no confidence in the response you desire, fake it.



Geekonychus
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12 Mar 2013, 1:50 pm

Taybot97 wrote:
uwmonkdm wrote:
You've been friends for months and don't have her phone number? ... :shrug:


I have friends at school but don't usually desire to be social with them outside of that.


This is the root cause of why you are having trouble. You need to focus on creating a more active social life in general rather than focusing on one romance option. Even if she started dating you it wouldn't last long because all your attention would be focused on her. It a recipe for intense codependency and it will scare most highschool/college girls away..........

Make friends (for the sake of it) and the rest will fall into place. If you act like a social recluse but then try to get her number, she's going to find it weird or even creepy and she's going to see through you. :wink:



spongy
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12 Mar 2013, 7:14 pm

Geekonychus wrote:
Taybot97 wrote:
uwmonkdm wrote:
You've been friends for months and don't have her phone number? ... :shrug:


I have friends at school but don't usually desire to be social with them outside of that.


This is the root cause of why you are having trouble. You need to focus on creating a more active social life in general rather than focusing on one romance option. Even if she started dating you it wouldn't last long because all your attention would be focused on her. It a recipe for intense codependency and it will scare most highschool/college girls away..........

Make friends (for the sake of it) and the rest will fall into place. If you act like a social recluse but then try to get her number, she's going to find it weird or even creepy and she's going to see through you. :wink:


This.

I happen to go to a "social" meeting every Tuesday(you are meant to meet new people and whatnot, I hang out with the few I know and smile at the new ones).
Theres this female that Ive met twice.
She happens to be a little too good for the group so she can choose where to sit(usually next to me because we get along fine and even though I barely know her she is easy to talk to and quite knowledgeable so I cant complain).

As it happened two weeks ago there was a Madrid-Barcelona match at the time of our meeting and we had to improvise something(find a new place...) and she was unable to find us.

Next morning I woke up to an email asking what exactly happened and telling me she would be at another meeting that Thursday(popular subject, I tend to avoid most weekly meetings ) so I went to this Thursday meeting.
First thing she asked is why I didnt send her an online text stating where we were. When she found out I didnt have her number she made sure I got her number several times through the night and right now we joke about checking if I actually have her number or not still whenever we come across each other.



Sheerboredom
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13 Mar 2013, 3:16 pm

Be straight forward about and simply ask her out.

The worst she can say is no.