Advice wanted (NT dating an Aspie)

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Is being stressed out over EVERYTHING normal? For example: my guy can't hold a job anywhere due to being stressed out by everyday situations. He sends me texts at 2pm about being worried getting stuck in the snow (by noon the roads are clear enough to drive here. And it was less than 3" of snow). He gets stressed by the sounds of the kids in the apartment downstairs from me (I've learned not to hear them; I don't have to deal with them, so it doesn't bother me).

Looking at the symptoms for Aspergers, I'm impressed I am not diagnosed with it. I don't mean to be mean, but I generally have a hard time being empathetic/sympathetic towards someone who is stressed out over a fast food restaurant giving him the wrong order in drive through.

He's a nice guy, but being stressed out over everyday things might be a deal breaker for me. Is there any chance that he might be able to work through that?

Short answer: Yes

Long answer: Can't think of a way to word it

Someone needs to read, "Don't sweat the small stuff!"

I used to be like that... not quiiite as bad, but plenty annoying always fearing the worst, seeing the negative, etc.

I can't quite remember what was the turning point for me... it might've been when a class instructor had a short aside about "stinking thinking" that just hit me on the head like a ton of bricks!! I'd been poisoning myself and those close to me with my negativity and critical nature... and I had no idea! People would try to tell me, I'd just think they were exaggerating...


Your guy? Not sure what will change him... it takes a real blow to the head for some people to realize what they're doing wrong because it feels like such a comfortable routine. Good luck!

Get a book on cognitive therapy and read it together. Generally speaking, they are books on general coping skills that will do anybody some good. There is a really good book by David D Burns, called "Feeling Good - The New Mood Therapy". I heard about it years ago when I worked for Fortune 100 company that put tremendous pressure on the sales staff. I wasn't in sales, I was a consultant. But, during a meeting, one of the salesman said that he had read it and it helped him to sort things out and keep a good attitude with all of the pressure. I bought a copy and read it. Then I gave it away to a friend. Since then, I've given about six copies to people, and they all found it useful. That sort of book is really good to read together as a couple.

To the OP: Welcome to Wrongplanet!!

issues over small stuff reminds me of the HBO TV show "Curb Your Enthusiasm"! !!

but yea i think you should have a long talk with your boyfriend, have make a list of what "small things" does he aggravate over

How did this turn out? Was it a deal breaker? I'm curious because I'm going through the same thing too. My bf just picks at every little thing if it's not perfect. I've tried telling him it doesn't matter, but he won't let it go. He gets stuck on how it is "supposed to be." Could be a deal breaker with me too. Any suggestions? Did anything work, or did you call it quits?