Online dating...

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I don't usually like online dating, because I feel like it's a form of "giving up"... but I happened to make a profile on Plenty Of Fish last week. I checked it today... aaaand my top three matches were girls from my college, that I know sort of indirectly. They weren't really friends, but they were certainly familiar faces and acquaintances. Deleted it immediately out of embarrassment, but should I have? I mean, is there any logical reason for me to be embarrassed? Is it a form of desperation? If so, does that make me desperate? Should I put it back? So much confusion...

if they call you out on being desperate call them out right back. Noone here is going to tell you that you are desperate, 99 percent of this forum(males) can't get a girl to save their lives.

I'm not looking to have my feelings spared, I'm looking for honesty about the situation in order to decide what to do next.

No.



No; I see it as a forthright search method/tool.



I think I did exactly the same thing about 10 yrs ago when I made a foray into online dating. I recognized one of my matches as a guy who lives in my complex and immediately deleted my profile. It felt as if I'd arrived home to find all my window shades missing. I decided I was being ridiculous and put it back up a few days later.

I went on a few dates which all ended up with me trying to convince myself that since the guys were nice, I should try to be more attracted than I was. Doesn't work.

I found online dating to be a whole lot of work for the few opportunities it yielded. I found I had better luck in person at a couple of music venues nearby; a saloon and a roadhouse.

I'm not trying to discourage; try it and if it's annoying drop it. You may find online dating more relevant/necessary once you are no longer living in a college town.

I'd've left it up; logically and rationally there is no shame in keeping an active profile, but bear in mind, being that they call it Plenty of Fish, expect to get lots of carp and very little bluefin. If the photos looked familiar that's probably because they were scraped from other sites. But to answer your question, it doesn't make you appear desperate, especially as you're not doing it with the goal of continual ego gratification in the same manner that your counterparts are

Well, they say that 30% of relationships these days start online, so it is getting much more common and losing a lot of the stigma it used to have. I had kind of a similar experience when I first started out, I saw someone else I knew on there and deleted my profile so they wouldn't see mine. But just realize that anyone else who uses those sites is there for the same reason you are . It's nothing to be embarrassed about, though admittedly you shouldn't go around telling everyone you know that you're doing online dating. I just see it as a way to meet people you wouldn't have met otherwise, who have similar intentions.

Thanks. I think I'm gonna put it back. I wasn't exactly impressed with most of what I saw there... seemed like mostly women who felt slighted somehow by a man somewhere and are now taking it out on the entire gender. But yeah... thinking I may give it a chance. I do know a few successful couples that met online.

No, these are actual people that I've met in real life. They actually exist and are very nice people. Also, I'm not on any other dating sites.

my opinion is that onlinedating is a little deviant but not pathetic for guys. It is a little pathetic for girls since they get approached more.

That sounds familiar.

you shouldnt feel embarrassed at all. AT ALL. Think about it for a second there, those girls also created POF profiles....they wont and can't judge you since they had profiles to be matched with in the first place.

What exactly is online dating 'giving up' on? I'd say its giving up on meeting someone in person and going from there...but it's certianly not giving up on dating as the goal is still to potentially find a relationship. People talk to each other over facebook more than they do in person, meeting people online is very common so I don't see much reason to be embarrased about it.

There is still a social stigma attached to online dating. Basically the idea is that if you weren't a complete loser you wouldn't *Have* to resort to online dating.. even though I know quite a few people who are perfectly happy with their online dating relationships.. it's still got that stigma...

If it wasn't for online dating, I wouldn't have had any relationship, post my twenties. For people who find social situations difficult, like I do, online dating is a true blessing, and I see nothing wrong with it.

If others think I am desperate? That's *their* problem. Not mine, surely.

I would suggest you do what feels right for yourself, and stop thinking what other people will think. They aren't the ones who are going to make you happy.

Good luck!

I doubt there is much stigma about it here, but unfortunately it probably does most certainly still exist in society in general but I say f*** em! there is no specific 'correct' way to date if someone finds it easier or more efficient to meet people online who gives a crap, anyone who does probably isn't worth anyones time unless it's attractive when an individual whines about another persons way of dating.

Oh sure, that basically echos my feelings on it entirely.