How many women/men does one need to meet to find a match.

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TheMachine1
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11 Jan 2007, 9:20 pm

I saw this scam ad on WP where you can get your soulmates name sent to you cellphone and that got me thinking what kinda algorithm they could possible be using.
Well never found that but I found this site that gives the odds or the number of men or
women one must meet to find a match based on info you insert.

Forexample I selected

Female ,4'11 - 5"3(6" under my height), 23-29 (the rule 1/2 your age plus 8 means the min age for a women for me would be 26 so I went + or - 3 from that), any race,
religion, status, any realtionship status.

I then choose they be in the top 25% in humor, and top 25% in intelligence. And selected top 100% for rest (100% mean the entire pool of people). Anyway I got
the odds I would have to meet 39 women to find my match.

If I put the standard top 25% in face attractiveness and 25% body attractiveness I get I would have to meet 624!

http://www.solvedating.com/soulmatecalculator.asp

I know nothing about this site or the value of their test.



Tim_Tex
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11 Jan 2007, 9:22 pm

I took that test a while back.

Tim


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BazzaMcKenzie
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16 Jan 2007, 3:39 am

TheMachine1 wrote:
... I would have to meet 624!

But if the odds are 1:624, and you met them at random, odds are you would meet Ms Right on or before #312.

I think you could narrow the odds by meeting only dog owners. I know you are not looking, but do you ever meet anyone walking your dogs?


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Seigneur
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18 Jan 2007, 9:21 pm

It said I only need to meet one. Nice! Oh, it says that in order to even meet one I have to be smart enough to figure out these damn percentiles....

Bottom top percentile to upper top percentile? Huh?



biostructure
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19 Jan 2007, 1:48 am

Wow, the most interesting thing I noticed was how much the religion selection influences the results. If I request that the person be atheist or agnostic (since I have several experiences where I couldn't get along with strongly religious people due to them trying to force their morals on me), I get that I would need to meet somewhere in the tens of thousands of people, depending on the attribute percentiles. If I didn't constrain religion at all, I got a number under 500!



biostructure
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19 Jan 2007, 2:17 am

I read some of that site's theories on attraction, and I have to say that I find very little there to agree with.

Being with similar people decreases conflict. It is only true for people who like themselves. If you hate yourself, you will be attracted to someone who is different or opposite from you. The result is two people who hate themselves in a dysfunctional relationship. You can not love others unless you love yourself.

Where does this come from? I don't think whether you are attracted to similar people or opposites has anything to do with whether you hate yourself. I think it has a lot more to do with the following two things:
1)"Well-roundedness" vs. specialization--I suspect that people (like me) whose abilities and interests fall in a narrow range are more likely to seek someone with opposite characteristics for "completion" than someone with a very balanced range of skills.
2) Looking for someone to spice up your life vs. looking for a long-term, friend-like companion--people looking for passion first and friendship second are more likely to look for opposites than those looking for friendship first and passion second.
That's just my 2 cents.

As for converting to the religion of a girl I'm attracted to--NO WAY. I respect people if they choose to have a certain faith, but I'm not becoming religious myself just to please a girl.

I agree with their general "economic model" equation,

attractiveness=qualities to fulfill needs of others + confidence to fulfill needs of others +
lowering love costs of others + situation forces

However, I differ on how these component variables should be defined. People who are each other's opposites also can "fulfill needs". For instance, I value high emotional intelligence in females at least partly because mine is low, and there are situations in life that call for that type of intelligence. Also, under "tactics to use confidence to your advantage":

2. Verbally abuse lover, always telling he/she is ugly, fat, and unwanted. He/she will never find another person to love him/her besides you.

Huh? I thought this was called being insulting, not "using confidence to your advantage".

Just because someone bases a dating scheme on probabilities rather than superstition and/or astrology (which I think is a great idea) doesn't mean your idea of what people SHOULD want agrees with what they DO want!



Melantha
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19 Jan 2007, 3:36 pm

biostructure wrote:
Also, under "tactics to use confidence to your advantage":

2. Verbally abuse lover, always telling he/she is ugly, fat, and unwanted. He/she will never find another person to love him/her besides you.

Huh? I thought this was called being insulting, not "using confidence to your advantage".


That has to be a joke. Either that or these people are psychopaths. That technique is one that is widely known to be used by abusive husbands and boyfriends and is actually listed as one of the warning signs to look for in cases of suspected domestic abuse. It's one of the brain-washing techniques used by the man to destroy the woman's self-confidence and sense of worth andmake her feel like she has to stay with him and put up with the abuse because he's the best thing she can hope for. NOT cool. I hope they're joking.



Revenant
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19 Jan 2007, 4:53 pm

Match sites are certainly a nice way to find someone who suits you. I gave up trying to find someone at bars etc because only NT slut scum wanders around there and all they want is you to buy them a beer and then theyll leave.

The odds for me finding a Norwegian AS girl at an age inbetween 18-23 is sparse... So I won't try aspie affection.



BazzaMcKenzie
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19 Jan 2007, 5:09 pm

Revenant wrote:
... I gave up trying to find someone at bars etc because only NT slut scum wanders around there ....

May not be the same in Norway, but here coffee shops are a good place to meet. People often read while having a coffee by themselves. Ask if you can sit at the table with your coffee (or whatever). You get a different type of person and they are not "on guard" as they are in bars etc.


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