Keeping the right state of mind

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Now, I have this issue where I'm all moody and misanthropic most of the time, and occasionally I'll get this "spark" within me so that I'm real chipper and vibrant, and everyone loves me. Only problem is...that spark always seems to fizzle out eventually, and it's back to the same old s**t. I just wish I knew some way to maintain that positive state, but I can't. I wish there were just some kind of way to numb myself in between sparks...

I suppose I could try learning to meditate and see if I can induce that state of mind, but I swear it must be some kind of chemical thing cause it just hits me so hard, and I can literally feel it slowly fading away after it starts...

Sounds like Bi-polar?

Could be chemical.

What if you have a food chemical sensitivity that you're unaware of that causes this?

There are several different food chemicals known to cause AS/ADHD symptoms to flair up, as well as depression, anxiety & many other neurological things.

Gluten (mainly wheat), casein (dairy), salicylate acid sensitivity (most plants), artificial flavours, colours, preservatives, soy, corn, hydrolized vegetable proteins & possibly a number of other things are known to screw with brain functions across a number of different diagnoses.

I know that some of them mess with me in a big way. So, you may actually really be onto something in guessing that it may be chemical and brought on by something. If I avoid the things that trigger symptoms in me, I'm pretty good.. but then when I eat them, depending on what I eat, it can hit pretty hard within 20 minutes -> Jekyll & Hyde.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

It's really tough to keep the frame of mind. I do know that feeling some sort of emotional pain will easily trigger a change in your state of mind as well and trigger a sad episode. I wouldn't jump the gun and assume bi-polar though, but it could be anything. Talk to a counsellor/therapist or your doctor if you need to.