Am I still in love with someone who has Aspergers?

Post Reply New Topic

i honestly didn't realize it until i went into a different thread but if anybody read my thread, "I'm in love with someone who has Aspergers" then they might know what i'm talking about... i fell for an aspie male whos older than me and apparently he has an online girlfriend...

anyways, a few weeks post me confessing that i wanted to go out with him (and after his brutal rejection) i still see him everyday and he goes out of his way to say hi at times and smiles and stares at me and comes near my work area and engages in a meaningless activity while looking at me either straight forward or out the corner of his eye...or just outright stares at me some days...

so now i don't know what to think... and he's consuming most of the free-thought in my head which is doing my whole head in...
either you like me and you want to see me or you don't like me and you want nothing to do with me- at least thats how i've always seen it...

sometimes i even think of him and have this severe longing and it cripples me... thinking about him even shuts me down sometimes (i'm even thinking about him now while i'm typing this... ) and even my well-meaning (and might i add affectionate) boyfriend is telling me that when i asked him out i should've asked if he liked me at all in that way so at least i could justify why he acts the way he does around me and maybe there would be room for something to grow....

so i guess i'm asking how do you break something that you're finding yourself obsessing over? how do you forget about them if you work with them or how do you scare them off so they don't look at you or pay attention to you at all? i can't go on like this for much longer especially since he has an "online girlfriend" and i do have a boyfriend i love very much....and especially since theres no reason why he's paying this much attention to me when he has someone unless hes really just trying to be friendly and i'm misreading things (damn i was never good reading people's affections! )

thank you friends!

I don't.

Carmel if I have got you right, you will never forget about it, you just got to learn to let go, I have the same feelings allot and I still think about someone I went out with when I was 6 for 5 years, but I never really stop thinking about it, I just learn its in the past... You said you were late in getting into relationships & depending on when it was up till you are now your a year below me in age.

If I am right about you feeling like its eating away at you because you can’t stop thinking about him, because most of your views are the same as mine, and I am a introverted type personality.

http://www.typelogic.com/intj.html

Have to go down till you get to Introverted iNtuition as you could be any of the others types of the I's.., or can be wrong all togethor hehe

"As an INTJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things rationally and logically.

INTJs live in the world of ideas and strategic planning. They value intelligence, knowledge, and competence, and typically have high standards in these regards, which they continuously strive to fulfill. To a somewhat lesser extent, they have similar expectations of others.
"

Do you call it Intuition or a Gut Feeling

Correct me if I am wrong

Just see it as him been friendly as you said he has a online Gf and you have a Bf...

/*
Is something else (as me if someone asks me out, I will say no or reject even if I want to, depending on how much I really really like someone I can go to the point when I am unable to use my body as in I have no control, I normally stare, look out the corner of my eyes and go up to try and talk to them but just get too nervous and say something else...

Not saying that is what it is but he might be the same just got an anxiety?
*/

Just that type of behaviour sounds like what I would be doing...

Last edited by logitechdog on 12 Jan 2007, 3:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

Then you need to adopt a policy of ignoring him, by and large. Going over the past won't do you any favours. You've found out where he says he stands so leave it. Bringing up this hoary old chestnut again and again makes you look desperate and someone who would take all sorts of abuse if you two were to be together. I know it's exceedingly hard but just do your best to drop it. If what you say is true and you have a wonderful boyfriend already focus on making a future with him instead of travelling back to this. You asked him, it was exposed, it was out in the open. Now leave it and let it be.



This, to me, reeks of a woman obsessive and besotted with someone rather than someone who simply wants a relationship with a nice bloke they know. You might try to rationalise it in your own mind but this is what I see.



Fill your time with other thoughts. Close it down in your mind. Ignore him if needs be. If he keeps on coming up to you just to talk to you or bothering you have a speak to higher-ups about it.



I've already said what you should do before. He turned you down. Whatever relationship he is supposed to have with anyone else is not really your business. If he said that because he was afraid you gave him ample opportunity to reverse his mistake. You've already confirmed what his position is. So leave it alone and try not to think about it. What else do you like doing? What are your other interests? Try to take some of the energy away from obsessing over him and use it on something else. You can always just tell me to get lost but really it's the best thing you can do.

Oh, and no problem. It's given me something to respond to on a Friday morning when there's not a lot to do, so I'm happy...

Uh..............what Tequilla said. it's 2:00 in the morning. I wanna sleep. and I don't have to get up til 2pm if I want to. I have a class 40 minutes later and it's my only class.

Yeah. Caramel. I don't really know what to say. Tequilla said what I was gonna say, and said it better. thankfully all I can say is try not to think about said former guy and concentrate on now said current boyfriend.