someone getting the wrong idea

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TinyDancer
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26 Mar 2013, 11:02 am

I think someone I know thinks I have or had some kind of naive, shy girl crush on him. I like him, but not in that way at all - its more like I like my older brother. Actually, the idea of liking him romantically is kind of gross to me.

Any suggestions for giving him the message that it's not like that at all?



IlovemyAspie
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26 Mar 2013, 11:23 am

How did this come about? How do you know he thinks this about you? I need a few more details.



uwmonkdm
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26 Mar 2013, 3:10 pm

^^^ exactly.

Punch him in the balls, that should get the message across.



goldfish21
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26 Mar 2013, 3:41 pm

Just tell him. Better sooner than later, especially if he's been giving you indications that he's into you and you have been neutral.. if he hasn't perceived that you're not into him, then he likely still assumes he has a chance and will continue escalating his advances. Best not to lead someone on (even if unintentionally) & thus I'd just tell him, tactfully. Tell him you may be wrong, but you think you've been getting some signals from him that he may be interested in you as more than just a friend, but that you don't feel that way about him & care for him as the friend he is to you and consider him like a brother. He may be deflated, even completely crushed, by hearing this.. but that's life, he'll have to deal with it, and it will pass and life will go on - hopefully with your friendship intact. The longer you wait, the harder it might become for him to hear your true feelings, so best to just sorta get it over with IMO.

uwmonkdm wrote:
^^^ exactly.

Punch him in the balls, that should get the message across.


:lol: Another best-of-thread post.


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TinyDancer
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26 Mar 2013, 8:00 pm

IlovemyAspie wrote:
How did this come about? How do you know he thinks this about you? I need a few more details.



We go to the same dance studio and he's like 5 years older than me, which is way too old. I know that because he told his girlfriend, who told another girl at the studio and that girl told me (yeah i know, dance studio gossip). I like practicing with him because everyone else sucks. We were working on some really difficult dances no one else can do, then its like he keeps talking like he's not good enough to do them and I don't know if he really thinks that or if he just thinks we shouldn't spend time together and that if he avoids me enough I'll eventually go away and find a different studio with better dancers or something. its true I could find a studio with better dancers and just forget about him because one person isn't as important as becoming a better dancer, but i'd still miss him. :(



cakey
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26 Mar 2013, 9:16 pm

If that were the case I would text him how it isn't true and how I just think he dances well. If you don't have his number I would try to tell him in his face then if you really don't want to lose the friendship. But quite honestly if that happened to me, I would just try not to go near him to show how it isn't true.



IlovemyAspie
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26 Mar 2013, 11:40 pm

I would keep it professional. Act like you have no idea what they think. Show no interest and they'll think maybe they had it all wrong.



TinyDancer
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27 Mar 2013, 12:18 am

IlovemyAspie wrote:
I would keep it professional. Act like you have no idea what they think. Show no interest and they'll think maybe they had it all wrong.



How do I show no interest but still get to practice with him?
And since I haven't ever been interested in him in that way, i don't know what it is that would make it seem like I have interest in that way.

I think i'll just ask him right out about it and try to make it sound like the idea of it would be ridiculous but "just in case" you know?



IlovemyAspie
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27 Mar 2013, 12:50 am

TinyDancer wrote:
IlovemyAspie wrote:
I would keep it professional. Act like you have no idea what they think. Show no interest and they'll think maybe they had it all wrong.



How do I show no interest but still get to practice with him?
And since I haven't ever been interested in him in that way, i don't know what it is that would make it seem like I have interest in that way.

I think i'll just ask him right out about it and try to make it sound like the idea of it would be ridiculous but "just in case" you know?


I would just keep things status quo. If you've always practiced with him, continue doing so. If you bring it up it will only confirm to him what he "thinks" is going on. He will think you are "feeling him out".



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27 Mar 2013, 2:13 am

I'm in a similar situation, although when I made it clear to mine that I wasn't interested (and in fact I am completely smitten with someone else) he stopped talking to me for a bit. We're sort of talking again, after a nearly awkward situation with his mother (there was a function we were all going to only he pulled out, so I asked his mother to "pass on my love" to him, which I tend to say to everyone (I love everyone lol, I can be way too affectionate at times), only it nearly got misconstrued...I told him that I think of him as a big brother, and that I've always wanted one. He seems happy with that).


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27 Mar 2013, 6:38 am

I find it rude to gossip behind your back like that. I would talk to him and make it clear that he shouldn't be getting ideas like that. Keep it professional and ask him to do the same.


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27 Mar 2013, 8:58 am

Kezzstar wrote:
I told him that I think of him as a big brother, and that I've always wanted one.

^^^This would do it.