Saying I have autism on my online dating profile?

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Soon I am wanting to start online dating and hopefully make having a relationship a reality, its something I've never experienced before. Now I've read a few books about Autism/Aspergers and dating and it talks a lot about how these differences can affect dates and relationships and I can really recognise myself in them like talking greatly about special interests, expressing romantic gestures, empathy and a number of other things. For a long time I have been anxious about trying to have a relationship because of these aspects and growing up I've always liked girls but always got confused by social norms and situations it made me struggle getting to know them and take things further.
So I want to start online dating and I am wondering if I should mention I have Autism on my page. I am mildly on the spectrum and much better than when I was a teenager with social awareness and understanding. But I get overloaded very easily, struggle with eye contact and reading signs and body language and other points above which make me anxious entering a relationship. If I don't mention it I'm worried how understanding other girls will be about autism, and don't understand when I get anxious about many things they perceive to be second nature like going to a busy place and noise sensitivity.

Will saying I have autism filter out the less understanding girls and have responses from those which are, or if I can, go on a few dates with a girl then mention I have it?

I don't recommend it.

In my humble opinion, I would suggest not mentioning it. Give yourself a chance to meet as many people as possible without prejudgements.
If you present all the facts up front you may scare off people that may not fully understand your situation or expose yourself to some that will manipulate it against you.
If you wait you can show your capabilities and explain your weaknesses while giving the other person the chance to ask questions. Chances are they will perceive some differences in you anyway and may not find them off-putting without the label.

most people seem to think it is better to spring it on them later since most people won't give you a chance otherwise

I don't mention my murder convictions on my dating profile so I'm not likely to mention autism either. If you mention things like that then women are simply going to discard you right away, because that is just how human nature is. A woman on a dating site is like a kid in a candy store; why would she pick the salted liquorice when she can have Cola Cubes, Gummy Bears, or anything else that is on offer? If you mention autism on your profile you can only realistically be expected to be contacted by autistic girls...if at all.

It's better to not define yourself by autism, but instead market yourself as a human being and if things progress and you start to meet and maybe both want a relationship then things could be brought up at that stage, but no point ruining your chances from the off.

I think might also need to tame your expectations a little. Don't go into internet dating thinking you're going to get dates etc, it is rare to have any contact at all, let alone a date, let alone a relationship.



I don't have murder convictions, that was just a joke.

Don't do it. People are great at misunderstanding/ignoring things. At worst, you'll find yourself approached by people who are into that whole 'disabled/childish' thing, or people who actively attempt to deceive you.

My advice: don't disclose Asperger's until you absolutely trust that the person you're telling a)cares enough about you to make an effort to understand Asperger's, b) is willing to abandon preconceived notions about what an autistic person is 'supposed to be like', c) will honour your desire for discretion.

I'm sure we've all been through these situations, and the feeling of betrayal when someone doesn't honour these three things is very intense and can destroy a relationship. The second one can only be proven with time, however. Although I bet that if you trust and know someone well enough to be reasonably certain they'll do the first and third, they will likely not disappoint you with the second.

I'm close to getting married and I still haven't said the word "Autism" to anyone. Why? First, I'm not formally diagnosed and secondly, because if I were to tell anyone they would think it was a joke. People have this idea (I did at one time too) that Autistic people are braindead and function at the level of toddlers at best. Everyone I told in the past treated me like I had leprosy, as if I admitted that I was actually 12 years old and they were afraid of being seen as a pedophile.

For the record, I have fully disclosed my sensory issues, obsessions, weird interests, anxiety, lack of friends, etc with my partner but it happened OVER TIME when I knew I could trust her with that information. I once dated someone who was almost certainly a 33 year old asexual virgin but I figured it out over time gradually so it wasn't a surprise or shock. If she said that right away, I might have missed out on what turned out to be a valuable life lesson.

would echo the others...keep details such as ASD to yourself until that person comes along with whom you have a mutual connection...you are more than your autism.

stick to outlining interests and the qualities you bring and are looking for...leave the rest till later.

I didn't mention it on my profile and my now Fiance (who I met through online dating), didn't have a problem finding out later, she prefered to get to know me for me.

Being ND doesn't define who you are.

You could mention it, under the ruling of honesty, but i too recommend against it.

It is, however, a good idea to list the most visible and relevant traits (sensitivity to noise, greater-than-average difficulty with reading body-language, that sort of things).
Mentioning these traits will be honest enough, for the online part of dating, and those that know enough about autism and not deem it a dealbreaker will recognise the traits for what they are anyway.

I guess that your interlocutor deserves to know truth

why not? Frankly speaking, I guess that you have to say the truth to the person you're communicating with. This is because there are a lot of women and you you'll find the one that will love you for who you are! Moreover, I am convinced in my words because, for instance, I found a lovely woman from the Philippines after I read the article where there was mentioned a dating site with the help of which I was able to meet filipinas online free... So, she wasn't afraid of my disease... By the way, now we've been dating for 2 years

Many people might have prejudgements. I'm sorry to say. Not to mention that it's just going to be seen as an odd thing to put in a profile, given that most people see it as an impairment and you're supposed to be selling your image.

I've dated two guys from online, both of whom I told about my ASD. They were understanding, but we had conversations online, via text, and in person so they got to know me before I sprang that on them.

Describe it without mentioning it. Can a man say he's "sensitive"? If not, perhaps "kind". Are you "honest"? Say what your (special) interests are. I read that Aspie's tend to find stronger relationships with shared interests and that's how I found my NT husband (dancing).

Mine would have read: passionate, expressive, honest, unassuming, sensitive, dancing, intelligent non-conformist.

My 1st boyfriend admired my intelligence, my husband was attracted to my honesty. What wonderfulness will some person see in you? Kudos to you for making the opportunity! Wishing you luck!