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Butterfly
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30 Mar 2013, 2:04 am

Ok. Basicly, long story short I am a Bisexual, but too scared too admit it to my friends, because I know they will judge me. I'm too scared too admit to my parents as well. As my Dad is kind of... Well he's a dick when it comes to this kind of thing. So what do I do? I need to tell someone. But. Yeah.



redrobin62
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30 Mar 2013, 2:27 am

You picked the right avatar because Stewie doesn't have a clue what he is yet and it drives him crazy.



goldfish21
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30 Mar 2013, 4:53 am

You know that they'd judge you or assume that they would? There's a difference - my example at the end of my post here.

So don't tell your parents at this point, or ever if it doesn't suit you. It's not really any of their business who you're attracted to or who you sleep with. Why would your parents have a need to know? Ditto that with your friends, too.

Although, I do get the whole feeling better about just being comfortable openly being who you are around people in your life. I felt kinda bi for a while in my youth/early 20's, but then realized nope, I'm not, I'm gay. At 29 going on 30 I finally came out to my parents and immediate family (last Summer) & it was awkward, difficult etc.. but relieving. Guess what? They don't care. I've since come out to several friends and am more and more comfortable with myself and more and more open about it. I don't announce it to the world or anything, but it is rather liberating to not have to consciously conceal it. In hindsight, it would probably have been a lot healthier to have done it a lot earlier and lived w/ a lot less stress about it.

So, even thought hey don't need to know so you're not obligated to tell them.. it might relieve you of a lot of stress/anxiety to do it, soooo if you've got the balls to do it a heck of a lot younger than I did, well, it miiight do you a lot of good to follow through on it. Do you have a best friend you can disclose it to? I at least had that in high school.(and we've remained very good friends since.) Granted, my dad's not a dick about stuff like that. He's just.. neutral. If he was a dick about stuff like that I might have chosen not to tell him simply because I'd never be sleeping with my father, so he wouldn't ever need to know.

And while I haven't told everyone, all those that do know now are OK with it. I haven't lost a single friend or family member over it. I haven't disclosed it to acquaintances I know are homophobic, because they don't need to know. Like I said, I don't advertise it to the world, and I quite like my favourite homo's definition of being "out," as just being completely comfortable with who you are, being "comfortably out," & not necessarily announcing it to the world - but just not concealing it in any way, ever. I'm not quite there where he's at yet, but I'm moving ever closer to it & feeling a lot more free for it.

As cliche as this sounds... It gets better. Go watch some of those youtube videos if you haven't. There are some pretty good ones with some inspirational words and stories that might help you figure out how to approach this with friends/family.

FYI the most type A guy's guy I know that was one of the last people I'd ever choose to tell for fear of how he'd react sorta found out accidentally a few years ago & his response was pure acceptance and just wanting me to be happy with whoever I am and however I live my life. That changed my perspective big time when the person I expected the worst response from gave the best I could have ever possibly dreamt of. So, do you know they'd judge you, or are you assuming that they would? There's a BIG difference.


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30 Mar 2013, 2:48 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
You know that they'd judge you or assume that they would? There's a difference - my example at the end of my post here.

So don't tell your parents at this point, or ever if it doesn't suit you. It's not really any of their business who you're attracted to or who you sleep with. Why would your parents have a need to know? Ditto that with your friends, too.

Although, I do get the whole feeling better about just being comfortable openly being who you are around people in your life. I felt kinda bi for a while in my youth/early 20's, but then realized nope, I'm not, I'm gay. At 29 going on 30 I finally came out to my parents and immediate family (last Summer) & it was awkward, difficult etc.. but relieving. Guess what? They don't care. I've since come out to several friends and am more and more comfortable with myself and more and more open about it. I don't announce it to the world or anything, but it is rather liberating to not have to consciously conceal it. In hindsight, it would probably have been a lot healthier to have done it a lot earlier and lived w/ a lot less stress about it.

So, even thought hey don't need to know so you're not obligated to tell them.. it might relieve you of a lot of stress/anxiety to do it, soooo if you've got the balls to do it a heck of a lot younger than I did, well, it miiight do you a lot of good to follow through on it. Do you have a best friend you can disclose it to? I at least had that in high school.(and we've remained very good friends since.) Granted, my dad's not a dick about stuff like that. He's just.. neutral. If he was a dick about stuff like that I might have chosen not to tell him simply because I'd never be sleeping with my father, so he wouldn't ever need to know.

And while I haven't told everyone, all those that do know now are OK with it. I haven't lost a single friend or family member over it. I haven't disclosed it to acquaintances I know are homophobic, because they don't need to know. Like I said, I don't advertise it to the world, and I quite like my favourite homo's definition of being "out," as just being completely comfortable with who you are, being "comfortably out," & not necessarily announcing it to the world - but just not concealing it in any way, ever. I'm not quite there where he's at yet, but I'm moving ever closer to it & feeling a lot more free for it.

As cliche as this sounds... It gets better. Go watch some of those youtube videos if you haven't. There are some pretty good ones with some inspirational words and stories that might help you figure out how to approach this with friends/family.

FYI the most type A guy's guy I know that was one of the last people I'd ever choose to tell for fear of how he'd react sorta found out accidentally a few years ago & his response was pure acceptance and just wanting me to be happy with whoever I am and however I live my life. That changed my perspective big time when the person I expected the worst response from gave the best I could have ever possibly dreamt of. So, do you know they'd judge you, or are you assuming that they would? There's a BIG difference.



Thanks! This really helped me! :wink: