Why are some aspies so obsessed with finding another aspie?

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As the title says, Im just curious as to why it seems so many of my fellow aspies seem totally preoccupied with finding other aspies for a potential relationship? I think I probably know most of the responses I will get, but I'd just like to raise the question and see where it goes.... I think we could have a decent conversation and maybe come across some valid points for and against..... or for life i general.

Some of us, such as myself, have lived our lives or at least grown up without knowing anyone else who was aspie. Tends to drive one to shake the feeling of alienation, at least from where I sit.

I can't relate to anyone. I've tried, and tried again. No one understands my Aspieisms. I've had relationships with NT's, and they go down the crapper very quickly. They say the same things about me being emotionless, selfish, and a jerk. Yet I have given my all to those women, and have been loving. I feel that another Aspie will understand enough to make it work. With her I wont have to be a friggin body language reader.

hmm. I don't know.

But I prefer NTs. I'm NT/AS borderline. and I'm pretty much an NT.

Hi,

i think the answer is simple. Being this condition so hard to understand for NTs (i don´t even blame them), it is natural that we look for someone who is like us. Someone who will not wonder why we always have the same expression on our faces, or why we like to flap our hands and fingers...

It is not an obsession at all. It´s just that we have been misunderstood too many times by NTs, and only another aspie will give us comfort and support. Don´t you think ?
That´s all folks

Geom

Theoretically, I could do well with an NT. But I am in a rather interesting situation. I am 27 years old, and a college student--several years older than the traditional college student.

I feel that I am expected to finish school with a bachelor's degree at the age of 22 or 23, and have a full-time job immediately thereafter. I worry that the traditional-age college students will think I am too old when it comes to dating. Yet I worry the women close to my age will not date me because I won't have a full-time job while I am attending school.

After I finish school and start my career as a geologist, it should be smooth sailing from then on. It's mainly the next 2-3 years that will be an issue.

But for now, I feel my best prospects would be with another Aspie. If I came across a tolerant NT woman, that would work as well.

Tim

Think, but 2 people with As been together, does it work? I would see the same thing happening in Nt relationships the female wanting to end the relationship while the thought never passed my mind, and I see even some plan behind they partner from reading posts, than talking about what is bothering her with him, think culture is better as if you watched the video I posted the Autism guy explains us in a cultural way, that people from another culture would have difficulty fitting in another culture, so they will be less strict on your behaviour, that Aspies can be defined as been another culture...

Male to female ratio is the same in As as Nt and one female saying im glad they is more men that’s probably saying they still the same in that way…

This is just guessing by the way so don’t take it at face value, but would not surprise me if it was true…

Sure females have the same, but are they getting the same 10 to 1 attention Nt females get and get the attitude of why should I be with you, when I got so much attention from the As people, or so many others to pick from...

I have been in both an AS/NT relationship, and an AS/AS one.

I would guess that either situation would have an equal chance of working out or not working out. However, my preference for an AS/AS relationship is based on the fact that the NT woman I was with cheated on me.

The AS/AS relationship I was in didn't work out because she and I had different priorities. She was having family and personal issues, and I was trying to get a career started, and both of those things were putting a strain on the relationship. The AS/AS pairing had nothing to do with it.

Tim

Think aspie questions should be made up, so you don't end up having different priorities & all that because 2 people with different priorities would be like a Nt who is out going been with a Nt that is not out going, and so on kind of characteristics…

Do you guys even talk about this part? Or priorities & what not..

(having family and personal issues) sounds cold that with the career one you put, relationships are a emotional rollercoaster, even if we don't show it, does not mean we have not got the feelings... negotiation, communicating, understanding so on... Know I am probably reading it wrong

I was married to an NT for 12 years. It really sucks when you love a woman but can't provide for her emotional and communicative needs. I feel I need someone a little more "low-maintainence." She doesn't have to be an aspie, but it couldn't hurt.

We do it for the lulz.

i say id be more interested in another aspie more cuz i wouldnt have to alway explain myself
i can just talk bout my dilemmas without a big explanation

im 29 only got my diagnosis at 28 i have alot to learn bout my aspergers and just think it would be easier

but i dont just limit myself to aspies just nice to have someone who truly understands me since i struggle so much with my communiction and gettin people to understand my thought process

anyways theres my 2cents

and if any one wants to correspond and talk more im always up for emailing back and forth

I think some of the younger people here might think its a magic answer or cure-all to the problems they have with NTs of the opposite sex. From a more developed viewpoint though I think some people are just really looking for a special someone in their life who they can actually be at peace around rather than feeling to guarded or out of place to enjoy their company. The trouble is I think it's a 50/50, IMO dating an aspie would present some things being easier and some things being more difficult depending on where she's at. Also, dating on the spectrum is tough because functioning levels very a lot and 2 people have to be almost right at the same level to fit each other's social groups or even each other's expectations of what they want. For me I'd have to date a girl who's barely even on the spectrum or more likely what'll happen is I'll just date NTs, not that I'd turn any other types down specifically on that but ability to have our emotional worlds in common as well as mix social groups would be really tough otherwise.