My last thread post was about telling my friend "Jane" (again, for privacy) how I feel towards her. I did so (about 2 months ago) and got a surprisingly honest, and straightforward response from her. She says that she hasn't had a "real" relationship before, and that jumping into one might not be the best of ideas. I can relate with the fact of never having a "real" relationship, and see her point, though I had to get it off my chest. Ever since the conversation took place, things have been pretty normal, though recently I've noticed (or have at least imagined it, due to paranoia) that she tries to avoid training with me at the martial arts program we both participate in. I feel as if I can confide in her, and I hope that she can, in me. I've made it fairly obvious that I need her, probably much more than she would ever need me, being that I'm diagnosed with AS, and, well, things get interesting.
Last week, things took a change of pace. I found out that I was receiving employment, and that I would actually have an income. Being elated at this, I told some of my closest friends, "Jane" being one of them.
I'm not really one for "superstition", though ever since I found that out, I have had a recurring dream of talking to her, and her being more interested in me. Could this possibly have a factor in the connection that is present now? At the moment, I'm going on the logic of "I didn't have any way of doing anything before this job, but now that I have one, I can do things, thereby doing things with her". Is this wishful thinking? I really hope not, though I've learned not to get my hopes up; there's more disappointment when you do.
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After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. -Aldous Huxley
You believe whatever you want? it´s what everyone else does. -Tim Roth as Dr. Cal Lightman, Lie to Me
07 Apr 2013, 10:10 am
