What's the Point of a Loveless Life?

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auntblabby
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16 Apr 2013, 6:31 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
Life has a point. A sharp one. It hurts.

the harder [more inurred] you become, the softer the point of life becomes. until it just becomes a nuisance and not a sharp pokey stick in the rump.



Kinme
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17 Apr 2013, 1:34 am

For all you know, you may end up finding someone on here, Dan. :o :)



Klowglas
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17 Apr 2013, 2:23 am

The thing about love, especially between humans is that it's extremely flawed. When I look at humans that are 'in love' you can plainly see that it is RIDDLED with conditions. It amazes me that something so everlasting and as eternal as love can be gauged by something so small and finite as this world, be it a job, house, or what have you...

But I know that these conditions are important because they're there to propagate the species. But it can be a sweet epiphany that real love - one that that is as unconditional and as pure as it can possibly get, doesn't come from man and...yes, I'm going to go there... it comes from god.

But the trick that makes men so bitter is that it's hard as hell to see that, or to simply feel it, especially when you're sulking amongst the darkest inclines of your life...but seeing it would give you purpose where men could not. Man's love is flawed; it isn't your fault that people can't love you when it isn't you that they love but what you could do for them. Human's worship power, that's what they love, it's the reason why men like Chris Brown can ball their fist up and punch a women in her face until it's fat and swollen and still be revered by millions - they don't care about his character, they care about his product.

Not to say that man's love is worthless, it's just that it's not as fulfilling, or as eternal as love from God.



auntblabby
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17 Apr 2013, 3:24 am

Kinme wrote:
For all you know, you may end up finding someone on here, Dan. :o :)

if it could happen to me, it could happen to ANYBODY!



danothan24
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17 Apr 2013, 5:26 am

Appreciate the tips so far. To address the many comments on "more than love/other than romantic love", I think something that helps to understand me is I consider myself a nihilist; essentially I believe that absolute truth doesn't exist, and that the universe is nothing more or less than random chaos; no good, no evil, only positive creative energy and negative destructive energy and our attempts to keep it somewhat balanced. I don't see this as a pessimistic view, but an honest one. I've tried religion, I really have, but it gets more laughable to me with time. No matter what happens, we will inevitably die, and that's that. I do enjoy things; I can appreciate beauty in the world as much as the next person. But without a partner, without someone to share it with, without someone to love and take care of or to love me in turn...obviously it won't make any of this matter any more, but at least I won't be alone. Every day has a 50% chance of being my last, and I'm terrified that when that coin finally lands tails, I'll have never known affection. I guess affection is probably a better word than love. There's just a warmth and peace I feel on the rare occasion I get to hold another person, and no religion or high or anything has ever come close to replicating that. I suppose my abandonment issues play into this as well.

Also, I'm not as depressed today as when I wrote this, lol. I have pretty severe clinical depression, enough to cause me physical pain at times, and it just gets fricken tough when I'm hurting all alone and nobody cares.


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auntblabby
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17 Apr 2013, 10:30 pm

danothan24 wrote:
Appreciate the tips so far. To address the many comments on "more than love/other than romantic love", I think something that helps to understand me is I consider myself a nihilist; essentially I believe that absolute truth doesn't exist, and that the universe is nothing more or less than random chaos; no good, no evil, only positive creative energy and negative destructive energy and our attempts to keep it somewhat balanced. I don't see this as a pessimistic view, but an honest one. I've tried religion, I really have, but it gets more laughable to me with time. No matter what happens, we will inevitably die, and that's that. I do enjoy things; I can appreciate beauty in the world as much as the next person. But without a partner, without someone to share it with, without someone to love and take care of or to love me in turn...obviously it won't make any of this matter any more, but at least I won't be alone. Every day has a 50% chance of being my last, and I'm terrified that when that coin finally lands tails, I'll have never known affection. I guess affection is probably a better word than love. There's just a warmth and peace I feel on the rare occasion I get to hold another person, and no religion or high or anything has ever come close to replicating that. I suppose my abandonment issues play into this as well. Also, I'm not as depressed today as when I wrote this, lol. I have pretty severe clinical depression, enough to cause me physical pain at times, and it just gets fricken tough when I'm hurting all alone and nobody cares.

:( the only thing that gets me through this friggin' world is the thought of heaven, that i am down here for a purpose whose fullness is known only by my ultimate creator. your friends on wrong planet care for you [sight unseen] as best they can while simulaneously they work through their own issues of loneliness. i learned one thing on WP, which was that i was no longer alone in my anomie but that i was now part of a vast virtual community of likeminded folks. that took the edge off of my social retardation and loneliness/rejection from people i wanted as mates or even just friends IRL. i have received affection on wrong planet, and that is [as they say] "a lot better than a dry, hacking cough." i give affection "pay it forward" style, in return. i just hope you can feel some of the warmth and concern directed towards you here on the lovely wrong planet.
on the subject of affection, my belief [should you choose to pay attention to it] is that if it is not unconditional positive regard [aka unconditional love, aka "agape"] that it is largely counterfeit. in the social whirl of mating you will not find much unconditional positive regard, IOW everything has a price [IOW steep conditions must be met or no dice]. for the longest time i would have nothing to do with that price, on what i coarsely perceived as counterfeit goods. only when somebody totally real and not counterfeit in the least, stumbled onto me and latched on, did i change my mind, and conclude that "counterfeit" was still a lot better than the emotional wilderness i'd resided in for the past few decades. IOW i'd had a powerful case of sour grapes. there are relatively few people similar to me, so i just had to learn patience and to beat back my youthful raging hormones and learn to appreciate late-in-life love from a special somebody whose conditions were the same as my own [IOW not so steep].



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1000Knives
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18 Apr 2013, 11:17 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Kinme wrote:
For all you know, you may end up finding someone on here, Dan. :o :)

if it could happen to me, it could happen to ANYBODY!


Except me, I say too many douchey things on here to make any girl want me here.

Anyway, uh, trees, grass, rivers, mountains, waterfalls, etc. Enough to keep me occupied. Especially because when I die I'm probably gonna have to fight a ton of demons in purgatory/tollhouses, so walking around seeing waterfalls and trees lamenting your loveless, miserable, but fairly luxurious Western living standards life is probably more fun than that.



auntblabby
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19 Apr 2013, 12:18 am

1000Knives wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Kinme wrote:
For all you know, you may end up finding someone on here, Dan. :o :)

if it could happen to me, it could happen to ANYBODY!


Except me, I say too many douchey things on here to make any girl want me here.

you will find the right person who loves you and all your "douchy" sayings, i know this because i found somebody wonderful here on WP who can see past all that, and i know she cannot be the only one out there. you are young and have so much time left to find your special person who will look past your "douchy" sayings and home in on your heart within. the fact that you can fix cars is a BIG plus, lots of women really admire handyman skills in a man. i have no handyman skills myself but i lucked into what i have now anyways, so you are way ahead of me.
you WILL find somebody, relatively soon, but rest assured it will no doubt catch you totally by surprise when you've stopped looking. as john lennon said, "life is what happens when you've made other plans." that surely applied in my case.



Tyri0n
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19 Apr 2013, 12:23 am

1000Knives wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Kinme wrote:
For all you know, you may end up finding someone on here, Dan. :o :)

if it could happen to me, it could happen to ANYBODY!


Except me, I say too many douchey things on here to make any girl want me here.


You could always create a "dating personality" profile and then keep your current one as your dark underbelly profile.

Somewhere on this site, there may or may not be another Tyri0n with a completely different, less truthful online personality that doesn't have unstable relationships or key cars. He or she could have already made contributions to this very thread. :wink:



1000Knives
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19 Apr 2013, 12:35 am

Tyri0n wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Kinme wrote:
For all you know, you may end up finding someone on here, Dan. :o :)

if it could happen to me, it could happen to ANYBODY!


Except me, I say too many douchey things on here to make any girl want me here.


You could always create a "dating personality" profile and then keep your current one as your dark underbelly profile.

Somewhere on this site, there may or may not be another Tyri0n with a completely different, less truthful online personality that doesn't have unstable relationships or key cars. He or she could have already made contributions to this very thread. :wink:


I also enjoy fine art and shopping at Whole Foods.



hyperlexian
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19 Apr 2013, 7:51 am

Tyri0n wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Kinme wrote:
For all you know, you may end up finding someone on here, Dan. :o :)

if it could happen to me, it could happen to ANYBODY!


Except me, I say too many douchey things on here to make any girl want me here.


You could always create a "dating personality" profile and then keep your current one as your dark underbelly profile.

Somewhere on this site, there may or may not be another Tyri0n with a completely different, less truthful online personality that doesn't have unstable relationships or key cars. He or she could have already made contributions to this very thread. :wink:

no, you shouldn't do that because it violates the rules (if you are indeed talking about starting a second account).


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myth
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19 Apr 2013, 8:02 am

danothan24 wrote:
Appreciate the tips so far. To address the many comments on "more than love/other than romantic love", I think something that helps to understand me is I consider myself a nihilist; essentially I believe that absolute truth doesn't exist, and that the universe is nothing more or less than random chaos; no good, no evil, only positive creative energy and negative destructive energy and our attempts to keep it somewhat balanced. I don't see this as a pessimistic view, but an honest one. I've tried religion, I really have, but it gets more laughable to me with time. No matter what happens, we will inevitably die, and that's that. I do enjoy things; I can appreciate beauty in the world as much as the next person. But without a partner, without someone to share it with, without someone to love and take care of or to love me in turn...obviously it won't make any of this matter any more, but at least I won't be alone. Every day has a 50% chance of being my last, and I'm terrified that when that coin finally lands tails, I'll have never known affection. I guess affection is probably a better word than love. There's just a warmth and peace I feel on the rare occasion I get to hold another person, and no religion or high or anything has ever come close to replicating that. I suppose my abandonment issues play into this as well.

Also, I'm not as depressed today as when I wrote this, lol. I have pretty severe clinical depression, enough to cause me physical pain at times, and it just gets fricken tough when I'm hurting all alone and nobody cares.

As a fellow nihilist, I can tell you that not even "love" gives meaning to life. Love, too, is transient, subject to decay/chaos/entropy and about as nonexistant as absolute truth. Being that many people's view of love ends up being somewhat absolute.

Affection can make you feel very nice for a time. But it doesn't impart any deeper meaning than that. Often times, it ends up being more trouble and pain than the good feelings are worth, to be quite frank. I know that likely doesn't make you feel any better when your human instincts/hormones are telling you to find a mate.. but :shrug:


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19 Apr 2013, 11:20 am

danothan24 wrote:
Appreciate the tips so far. To address the many comments on "more than love/other than romantic love", I think something that helps to understand me is I consider myself a nihilist; essentially I believe that absolute truth doesn't exist, and that the universe is nothing more or less than random chaos; no good, no evil, only positive creative energy and negative destructive energy and our attempts to keep it somewhat balanced. I don't see this as a pessimistic view, but an honest one. I've tried religion, I really have, but it gets more laughable to me with time. No matter what happens, we will inevitably die, and that's that. I do enjoy things; I can appreciate beauty in the world as much as the next person. But without a partner, without someone to share it with, without someone to love and take care of or to love me in turn...obviously it won't make any of this matter any more, but at least I won't be alone. Every day has a 50% chance of being my last, and I'm terrified that when that coin finally lands tails, I'll have never known affection. I guess affection is probably a better word than love. There's just a warmth and peace I feel on the rare occasion I get to hold another person, and no religion or high or anything has ever come close to replicating that. I suppose my abandonment issues play into this as well.

Also, I'm not as depressed today as when I wrote this, lol. I have pretty severe clinical depression, enough to cause me physical pain at times, and it just gets fricken tough when I'm hurting all alone and nobody cares.


Inevitable death is not something to be afraid of. I hold on to God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit and all that despite what a terrible wretch I am, because I know it only gives me more motive to do good things, not more to scrutinize. Giving up is the last thing you should ever do. I'll pray for you, even if you don't believe in God, no one deserves to be this depressed. Hang in there! I'm rooting for you!



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19 Apr 2013, 12:00 pm

Just yesterday I ended up talking with a 47 year old acquaintance about this sort of thing.
We were waiting for other people to show up and she asked me if I had learnt anything from hanging out with people her age lately.

As we got on talking she said that you dont have to have your life sorted out once you reach 40, you should however be able to feel complete without the need of a partner. Therefore she felt sorry for her friends who were rushing into things just because someone paid attention to them...

She has probably found out about my recent breakup from others and was trying to cheer me up a little but she has a point



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23 Apr 2013, 9:43 pm

danothan24 wrote:
Well, I'm 21, recently diagnosed. I'm no "Magic Mike", but I'm a decent looking guy if you like the big tough guy look (shaved head, goatee, etc.). People always think I'm older, and I tend to get along with people more in mid-20's to mid-30's. I have never had a relationship, never been kissed or anything else. People often compare to me a bouncer on the outside, teddy bear on the inside, and people say I'm a nice guy, yet nobody has ever wanted me. I can't even put into words how badly I'm aching for affection. Maybe it's fueled by pent up hormones, but the only point I can find in this chaos we call life is to love and be loved. But the catch-22 is that I have no interest in the people around me. I think once I move to a bigger city I may have more luck, but nobody has ever understood me, and I'm losing all hope. I'm at the end of my rope and I don't know how much more rejection I'm supposed to be able to take. I'm not sure if there's anything that can even be said, but I can't take hurting like this anymore and I'm afraid of what's going to happen if I can't find anyone to take some mercy on me, SOON.


The truth is it will get harder the older you get. What you've posted is basically my entire life. I've given up hope of it happening and basically gave myself 5 more years where i'd be trying some rather outside of the box thinking things... if that dont work then..well, there's no point to merely existing alone.

All I can tell you is whatever you can do, do it before 30. It goes downhill from there. Steeply.