Advice needed on relationship with Aspie Man

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Ok so here is my very long winded story:

I met John (name used to protect the innocent) back in 2006 on an online dating site. We immediately fell in love and were engaged within a month, married a year after that. He was affectionate and caring in the beginning years, then things started to go south.

I was diagnosed with OCD about a month before we got married. I decided to go off my medication because I was sick all the time, and thought I could manage the disorder on my own. Needless to say, I couldn't. He and I fought, grew apart and one day in 2010 he asked me for a divorce. We finally settled in 2011.

After almost 3 years of being apart, John and I have decided that it may have not been the best idea to split in the first place. We both realize the blame we hold in our relationship, we also think we just needed time to grow up before giving it another try.

John was diagnosed with Asperger's about a year ago. I would have never have known because his behavior was not awkward. But looking into some of the symptoms, he did have a lack of communication, didn't want to take part in things I enjoyed doing, and had to be pushed to be affectionate.

He has since moved back to his parents in another country and we are doing a long distance thing for the moment.

My question is: we've been back together for about six months now and he seems even more uncommunicative and unemotional than he was before. He says it's because he was hurt the last time around (which I understand) and also a lot of it has to do with his Aspergers. I want to learn how I can have a relationship with someone like him, when I have a tendency to need affection and affirmation somewhat often. He NEVER wants to talk about the relationship, our future, and vary rarely says he loves me in return, even though when I ask he says "I Do". Any help on how we can make this work? I've been researching like a madwoman!

First.. If you are obsessing over this right now, stop and take a step back and assess yourself first.
Secondly, A lot of Aspies don't like going back to an old flame. It could be a fear of looking weak for some, or others it's because there was too much pain involved. Me personally, I am finding it was pain that prevented me from going back to someone in the past (Aspies may have a problem with forgiveness from what I remember about myself). More recently, it's because it simply didn't work out because I came in the person's life at the wrong time.
Of course, you have to make sure the communication between the two of you is 100% clear on the matter. No BS coming from either of you.

Give up now & find someone more compatible w/your need for affection & communication. If he's not making an effort to communicate now, it's probably not going to happen in any sustained fashion & you'll feel starved much of the time.

Quit & then figure out why you are attracted to someone who is so inaccessible, unaffectionate, distant. What was driving you to try & fix that relationship. Otherwise you're liable to do it again. And frankly, you probably deserve better. And he deserves someone who won't be bothering him to communicate & be demonstrative beyond his natural capacity.

I wuold say you would probaly be bettr off with somone else, if yuo desire expresions of affectin so much - if yuo can compromis that or do withuot it is the only way I wuold see it workin. I know for me, I am not very expresive of love or afection because it can maek me uncomfrtable - I also mosty expect that the fact I want to be near the othre person and othr actions I do shuold be an easy indivator that I like/love them (but I've lerned over and over again that it is not for nerotypical people and Im continusly confuonded by the acusations that I don't show I loev them). He mighht be much the same way, and if you feel yuor need for overt ecpresions of affection is much more importnt than geting back togthre with him for othre qulities you liked in him, then yuo shouldn't try to. And liek Aspiemike said, forgivenes may be an isue as to why he seems more distant - I kno when somone hurts me, it is almos imposible for the relationship to evre be as 'good' as used to be becuse of the pain they maed me experince and which I don't want again.

OK, so you've got someone who doesn't verbally communicate w/you well, has trust issues, & doesn't give you the affection you need...how's that a basis for a loving, lasting relationship?

No, I think in 5 years time you'll be much happier if you find someone who doesn't have to be nagged to give you what you need. Find another man, a kind affection communicative man & be happy together. Really.

Oh and I forgot to mention:

He was the one who wanted me back, not the other way around. He said his life wasn't the same without me in it and that I was his ONE.

OH, now we can add mind messer to the list. Seriously, it's flattering to be wanted & all, but after a while the lost puppy thing is going to get REALLY old.

your getting alot of bad advice. I don't know what to say but don't look answers on a forum.. if you can manage it find a counselor.