im good at the first couple dates...but ...

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my keyboard is broken so bear with the bad /lazy punctuation and grammar.

...im good at first dates and the 'get to know ' stage, but
I am the worst at being social with my (past) girlfriend (s) after the get to know time. my relationships in chrnological order have lasted - two years/ four months/ 3 months/ 4 months....and numerous girs i dated for a few weeks. ive never been the dumper, always the dumpee.

i can keep things funny and social for a while, but i realized im acting social to make it seem like im a social person. i mean, i am. i have friends, and not to say AS ppl dont have many friends , but I have many who are very 'cool', 'hot' women, adventourous travellers like myself, sports fan/jocks, nerdy asians, street 'gangstas' to country white folk that ive met living/travelling in th last 5 years.

ive been called boring by my exs...and im sure the gal im seeing now thinks the same. its because i dont spontaneously express myself like my friends do. ..i dont want to do all the things my gfs do/did, like raves, big parties, hanging with strangers all the time...i do stuff like that , but with ppl other than my gfs. for a partner, i want someone like myself...quiet, low key , has many friends and hobbies, but is more the type to relax at home rather than go out with friends several times a week.

i have to force myself to be as social as my gfs, well exs and current gf. i can do it and enjoy it, but if given a choice of the social things and being athome watching movies, reading, workinng out and other not-as-social stuff, id choose to be at home or with just my gf (or just 1 or 2 close friends). eventually, i burn out from forcing myself to be super social and retreat to solitude...and eventually my partners leave because ive changed. reality is that i never changed, who they knew was the real me forcing himself to talk, socialize and do other normal ppl stuff (that i like sparingly) all the time like my gf and exs.

if i wasnt trying to be social in the first place, i wouldnt even meet girls to date ...but the issue is im not social intrinsically.

anyone else like this?

What medium you're using to meet those girls? Dating sites or real life networks? Because there's a world of difference between the two.

real life. i meet women when im out and about with my friends, at the gym , at work and through my friends and aquiantences mostly

That all makes sense, and it seems inevitable that girls would eventually find out that you are trying to be someone you're not just to keep them interested.

Some people would be happy just to be able to fake it long enough to get a girlfriend and keep her for a few months.

If you are unhappy with this then you should try looking for a quiet girl like you have described. It might be awkward at first because you will probably be acting like you would do to attract the extrovert girls, which may not attract the opposite type. Overall though it sounds like this would be good for you to learn.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf229202-0-45.html

Read V_for_Verbose's posts

Even the introvert girls don't want a guy that all what he does is just sitting home and watching movies and playing video games.

No, it's not possible for him to be his extreme introvert-self and stay in all the time - this should not be an option if you wanna have a gf.

The solution would be finding a compromise between what he likes and what the girls generally like, also he should seek what outdoor and social things he really enjoys and focus on meeting girls through those activities he enjoys most.

and do you have a car?

i do things all over. I workout, go hiking, travel to other states and countries, surf, go out with friends and all that. I just mean that i'm not the type of person whose going to get smashed at the bars or go hiking every week. I have some weeks where I'm in California visiting friends from high school that moved there, weeks where I'm going out at night to the bars, drinking/hanging out with people in the city, slacklining group, rugby league, building houses for Habitat for humanity ...Then some weeks I like to stay at home or hang out with my girl or just one friend doing basically nada- tv, yard work, smokin weed, goin to the lake or park. I work three jobs at roughly 50 hrs a week (Restraurant, construction, and consulting/office work) , all of which involve a myriad of people, and on added on that, my listed activities. I'm saying I meet lots of girls around my age ( 18- 26) at work and out; but most of them are gettin drunk, constantly going to concerts, busy in college life, flying all around the world, going out with friends/having some of them over everynight etc. I go drinking after work with friends /housemates once or twice a week, go to the San fransisco bay a couple times a year, back to hawaii (from there) every year, Oregon/Canada/Colorado/Wash state regularly too- to travel, or to see friends and live their life style for the few days to weeks I stay with them. My weekly schedule usually involves working a lot, the gym 3-4 times, hitting a bar once to get sloshy w/ my buds once or twice, going to a friends house for a get together / vice versa once or twice, reading, a tv show/movie and the rest at home doing solitary things like reading, movies, guitar, internet and kicking back with housemates. ...as opposed to work/school, going mountain biking/climbing/hiing/insert obscure hbby here three times a week, going to poetry slam, concerts, music festivals, going from country to country for weeks at a time, having frienes over drinking 4 nights of the week etc. its like some of them barely sleep cus their live are filled with nonstop action...and they sleep around a lot more than i do. i sleep around with two to maybe four girls over the year, always someone i have some sort of frienship/coworkership/romantic thing with....but the girls i date prob have at least double my experiene and are always always doing stuff. i meet extroverts only, primarily cuz extroverts are easier to read and talk to- prob is that i only meet extroverts because the only time I want to be social is when i FEEL social. sometimes i just dont feel like it. when i feel social, i am very social, and thatats why i tend to get to know very busy bodied and electric super outgoing girls with a billion friends and hobbies.

^^ Mother of Ba'al!! ! Holy f**k!! Now that's a boring and not-social enough lifestyle??! ! Your life is more active and vivid than most NT guys I know!!

I bet there's another reason, something those girls aren't being totally honest about and not related to your lifestyle at all.

Were you having sex with these girls?

i think i just have super high s tandards and am with the most extroverted gals...and yes, regular sex, except for some of the girls i only saw for a few weeks. i do a lot, but i dont talk a lot....its not bad sex, trust me, but i know it has to do with my life style. too nerdy at home maybe..?

Super high standards is actually kind of rude to have if it is just based on looks dude, fall in love based on personality for a change, any good looks she will have are just a plus!

But you said you're always the dumpee, which means the problem is not in your standards but something that those girls are finding unattractive about you.

Are you sure it's not bad sex? Is there a pattern you've notice between being dumped and the timing of sex (or anything else)? Think about it.

V for Verbose's post on that page in that thread is absolutely golden. He has brilliantly articulated what I have instinctively known for awhile about love and relationships. Modern society has become more egalitarian in every other arena EXCEPT social relationships. ESPECIALLY love, dating and sex. It's still purely survival of the "fittest".

Since love is what those sharing it together think of it, that is a load of malarky. I'm surviving, I don't have a six pack, I know by experience I can get in a relationship very quickly, theory proven wrong.



The weakest man that knows how to use his body to make peace in the world is always better than the strongest man in the world that sits around and does nothing to stop evil things from happening.

Same thing applies to infatuation, romance, and sex. I don't need science I have already proven wrong to approve of me, it is a paradox impossible of existing.

Shotgun slugs? No, tomahawks at 50+ yards.