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zacb
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03 May 2013, 1:51 pm

I was watching a video about dating, and it mentions that you should not think when you are approaching a girl. I have noticed when I spout random stuff around my friend, and let it all out, it is interesting. When I am in the "moment", I tend to due better. So what do you think? Should I let my social critiques out, along stuff about econ, video games, travel, etc? Or should I continue to be a nomad? Any thoughts?



redrobin62
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03 May 2013, 1:56 pm

^Just so you know, your first link doesn't work. The second one is fine.



1000Knives
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03 May 2013, 2:19 pm

It depends. It's impossible to "not think" you're either thinking consciously or thinking unconsciously. You have to figure out which one works best and where. For example, if you're, say, a race car driver, there's very little you can do in the way of "thinking" as in verbal thinking. You have to just react and "not think." Same with any athletic activity. However, during these circumstances, the brain is still working. Just as an athlete can "not think" and lift a record weight, jump really high, etc, doesn't mean the brain isn't working, they've simply trained themselves to use their brain in that way.

I think a difference in general with Aspergers is we're naturally more "thoughtful" than other people. As in we consciously think more often. I think normal people avoid conscious thinking, as they find it hard, probably just as hard as we find "not thinking." We send ourselves to hell with our thoughts, and NTs send themselves to hell with their lack of thoughts.

I know in my case, if I'm "not thinking" I'm ret*d. Like dumb as a rock. My couple days on Ritalin taught me that. I "felt" better, as I wasn't having as much constant verbal stream of thought, but I'd take longer to analyze things like traffic when crossing the road, I'd cuss out people, I ended up even blowing up my TV by accident by plugging in a 12VAC cord instead of of 12VDC. I'm assuming normal people would find having constant paragraphs of thoughts that my NVLD gives me a big nuisance, but to me that's the only way I can think.

With girls specifically, one time I didn't think was, a girl asked me if I knew anything fun. I just blurted out "uh, nah I don't do anything fun." If I sat and thought and analyzed it, her intentions (she apparently wanted to bone me) I'd have probably thought of SOMETHING fun to do. But for a quick on the fly response, that was my immediate thought. If I analyzed the situation better, I could have gotten laid (but then maybe I'd have gotten AIDS or an illegitimate child or something?)

Just find a balance that works.



EMTkid
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03 May 2013, 2:22 pm

I can't speak for all girls but I think its cool when a guy comes up to me and says something random. It gives a place to start conversation from. In fact, my husband's first words to me were to warn me no to mess with his coffee. One of the easiest conversations I was ever in. But you also have to take into account that I am aspie. No clue what normal girls want...



zacb
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03 May 2013, 7:04 pm

True. My problem is I think too much. I want something to stimulate me. So most people don't do conscious thinking? Would this help lighten up my stature? And would it be easier to attract girls? And as a result other people? How do you know the difference between blank thinking, and stupid thinking that could kill your chances?