Why are marriage archetypes on TV so horrible?

Post Reply New Topic

I can't be the only one who noticed. If you look at every modern TV show, it's all the same pattern: verbally abusive wife, henpecked husband. The same is true in a lot of movies. I'm not talking about classic TV shows, like "Simpsons", where both spouses have their flaws. Or parody-like shows like "Married with Children", where marriage archetypes are stretched to the point of absurdity. I'm talking about the ones showing on TV now; I wish I could remember the names. "Malcolm in the Middle" comes to mind easily, with Lois (the wife) who treats the whole family horribly, and Hal (the husband) who's gone cuckoo from all the abuse. Here are the archetypes to illustrate my point. Since this is a "Love and Dating" forum, I'll add a note. Sure, the archetypal husband and wife love each other. But what kind of love is it, when it's full of verbal abuse? Some form of emotional BDSM? Well, if you look at the archetypes, the BDSM is very one-sided.

Husband archetypes: (non-exhaustive list)
* Buys flowers, tries to think of good gifts, provides for the marriage, but one slip-up, and he's suddenly the world's biggest piece of sh*t
* Hates his life
* Gets verbally abused every day for tiniest infractions
* Has to fight tooth and nail to enjoy even one hour of his favorite activity on a day inconvenient for him
* Just when he's finally able to get his wish in something, he's thwarted by his wire or her friends

Wife archetypes: (non-exhaustive list)
* Acts extremely emotional and berates at her husband even for flowers being the wrong color
* Has a "headache" every night
* Makes her husband sleep on the couch the day he bought a new bed, beause the wood doesn't match the rest of the bedroom
* Finds an excuse to verbally abuse her husband for the 0.001% he did wrong, even when he did the other 99.999% right
* Manipulates her husband into taking her shopping on the same day he planned for weeks to watch the Super Bowl with friends

Now, I know someone will say: "It wouldn't be funny if they showed a nice marriage on TV." Well, verbally abusive wives and henpecked husbands aren't funny! TV or no TV. They only clinch my decision to never get married, even when looking down the barrel of an AK-47. Rant side, on with the question: Why are marriage archetypes on TV so horrible?! Seriously, why? No one benefits from having the media shove these archetypes down people's throats. NT guys, with some effort, can brush it all aside, or worse, assume it'll never happen to them. But aspie guys, at least those who already fear marriage, only start fearing it more.

Again, why are marriage archetypes on TV so horrible?

Because TV in general is pretty awful.

_________________
http://www.facebook.com/eidetic.onus
http://eidetic-onus.tumblr.com/
Warning, my tumblr is a man-free zone

Typical TV sit-com Family:

- Clueless, doofus dad/husband.

- Hot, know-it-all mom/wife

- Trouble-making son

- Sensible, yet naive daughter

- Miscellaneous child cast mostly for being "cute"

Add a nerdy neighbor, a cynical in-law (or two), co-workers who double as his drinking buddies or her shopping posse, and add an occasional cameo appearance by a real-world celebrity who will play him/herself or play against his/her type.

Maybe now and then show the mom and dad getting "frisky" (and maybe more skin than they ought to), only to be interrupted by another cast member.

And you have an American sitcom!

Is Doc Martin on yet?

our strongest impression of what marriage is comes from our parents' example. my dad was an autocrat and my mom was a doormat. if I hadn't met some people who had good marriages along the way, I would have thought that marriage is no place for a woman. I don't take TV seriously. I just had my fourth anniversary. we are happy.

i think it's really corny, but the best thing to do here is just ignore it and not take it seriously.

If I remember correctly, the sitcoms of the '50s and '60 were horrible marriage archetypes as well but different. The husband ran the family and sat in an easy chair reading the newspaper and the wife waited on everyone. That never inspired anyone to want to get married, either.

Excluding working for the mob, I think the "Sopranos" was a pretty realistic portrayal of relationships.

Yeah, the shrill, annoying harpy wife is a TV trope that's unfortunately still hanging around. I would just try to avoid watching shows that rest on easy, worn-out stereotypes like that. There's still legitimately good shows out there. And don't let cookie cutter sitcom depictions of marriage sway you one way or the other when it comes to your own opinion on the subject.

I like Big Bang Theory a lot but I do not like the way they portray women. I notice it is all written by men. I think the women in the are what those men think women are like.

The worst of these sitcoms I think is Everybody Loves Raymond, a comedy about verbal domestic abuse. I was shocked the first time I saw it.

Malcolm in the Middle was basically my life growing up. My parents to a tee. I was Malcolm... I was just as annoying as him too...

Because marriage archetypes are horrible everywhere.
Just listen to what your neighbours are saying about it, or read some gender-specific forums.

The TV is just reflecting the most widespread stereotypes.

Conflict is what drives plot lines.

Not harmony and perfection.