Want to get set up

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I have a problem here.

I have been focusing on work and trying to maintain a permanent job for like the last five years. Before, I was focused on my education. Now, I am 29 and I really want to get set up before it is too late to have kids.

Problem: I moved halfway across the country and don't have any friends yet, after one year. I joined my local rotary club, but it has a lot of older people. I also tried volunteering for soccer coaching, and while it is fun working with kids, I do that during my regular day job.
I also tried joining a soccer team, but during my second game, I had to quit because I got bashed in the head with a ball and my glasses smashed. I can't afford too many new pairs of glasses, and I have already had a couple of brain injuries, so I am sitting the season out.

In short, I say yes to every single social event that I can. And I know better than to criticize people, and I have been working on asking follow up questions to ensure that the other person is interested in the conversation.

What more can I try?

Is it a matter of continuing to put yourself out there?

I have never been out on one date EVER.

You know what that means - OKCupid or Plenty Of Fish, here comes Tina!

don't hesitate to ask someone to go for coffee.

I'm sorry you haven't been on a date before managertina. I guess it is a matter of continuing to put yourself out there and seeing what happens. Don't give up.

I wish I could help you get "set up", Tina, but every man I know who is about your age is either happily married, gay, bitterly divorced, or out on parole.

card games. Find some guys to play cards with. then go from there.

Billy may be on to something ...

There aren't many "gamer girls" out there (please forgive the sexist terminology, but that's what they're called). These are women who enjoy playing AD&D, Traveller, Shadowrun, or many other table-top RPGs. Some will even LARP.

Suggestion: Go to a store that sells Role-Playing games, and ask if they have an open gaming night. Try to get into one that has a mature group of guys who are patient, tolerant, helpful, and ... well ... try to find a game group that is looking for new players. Keep in mind that while RPG players are mostly male "nerds", some will actually have paying jobs and be interested in women!

Alternative Suggestion: Go to a local college campus, and ask at Admissions or the Student Union if there are any LARP groups around. "LARP" stands for "Live-Action Role-Playing". These people get together and improvisationally act out the role of a character in their favorite literary genre - most seem to gravitate toward a gothic or vampire motif.

Lots of guys like to play LARPs, because there seem to be a lot of women who still like to play "dress up games" well into their 30s and 40s, and many of those women are rather "hot" - especially while in costume - so be aware that there may be some "competition".

Good luck!

Hey there, Ford,

Thanks for the suggestion!

I do enjoy games!

Hopefully there will be something to that end in my community or nearby!

And good about the college too! My city has a community college, so I will see what they have.

Find a way to get involved at a military installation, they're full of single guys and not a lot of single women, best kept secret ever.

Good suggestions here. Just keep in mind that gamer types may be a little shy. You may have to give them direct hints.

To my experience as a veteran, most military men have "traditional" opinions of women - saints or whores, mothers or sex toys, wives or mistresses - and may not always be interested in a committed relationship.


Gamer guys may have some weird preconceptions about women - if they knew anything at all about women and relationships, would they be hanging out with other gamer guys?

It's certainly not impossible to find men on military bases and in game stores, as these places seem to have a higher male-to-female ratio than most churches and shopping malls. The trick is in finding that one, lone male who really cares about you enough to not be unduly influenced by his more "macho" or "nerdy" friends.

^^ Like the saying goes, the odds are good, but the goods are odd.

If you reveal your location/country you might catch interest from some men here.

^ true that.

The population of my province is less than a million from the States to the arctic. A little province called Saskatchewan.

How long do you guys normally know each other before dating?