stopping self harm

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So I really like this girl and I think she likes me back but I recently discovered she cuts herself when she gets low. I guess I wanted to how her that I don't care that she cuts herself and I took a knife to my own arm recently. I don't even know what to ask just what do I do?

Her cutting is part of her life and path. It is best imo to accept this about her without judgment rather than doing it to show her that you are interested in cutting, too. For example if I date a smoker I wouldn't start smoking unless he invited me to do so, and then only socially. Cutting when you are depressed usually isn't done socially. I don't think it's that much of a problem - smoking isn't either but try to think about accepting her for what she does, and who she is, instead of mirroring.

I think u should show her that u care that she cuts herself not so by pointing out her scars but letting her know (subtly) that ur aware and u'll help her to stop! . because sometimes cutters cut obliviously as it becomes a reflex or habit. Maybe u can catch her before? IDk just my input.

Trend lightly. She could quickly become a source of grief.

I guess the way I phrased that does not convey my point. I used to cut myself and I'm not proud of it and had not done it in years. She is very worried about what people think about her and I am one of maybe three people who knows she cuts. She is very self conscious about it and I think that I was trying to show her that I don't mind the scars I have plenty of my own and I just relapsed and cut myself again.

This sounds a little dangerous, as both of you may enable each other's self-harm habits. I'll try to advise anyway.

If you want to show her you don't mind, then simply don't mind and don't draw attention to it. If she's self-conscious, then pointing it out will probably make her withdraw and feel even worse.

If you two start spending more time around each other, then talking about is an option. A practical thing to do then would be to make sure that any fresh wounds are properly cleaned and disinfected. This was done in middle school with a friend in my circle.

Thank you for your help. I guess the answer is fairly obvious. But if you know what its like to be in love you know how stupid one can be. Thank you I will try not to relapse again it was a one time thing

Don't feed off of her self harm and don't let her do the same with you. Talk to her about your past with self harm and let her know that it doesn't bother you that she does it, you wont force her to tell anybody, but you will help her help herself if that is what she wants.

Don't feed off of her self harm and don't let her do the same with you. Talk to her about your past with self harm and let her know that it doesn't bother you that she does it, you wont force her to tell anybody, but you will help her help herself if that is what she wants.

Problem is if you say it's ok, your enabling it.

It's something that needs to stop, not be enabled.

Self-harm isn't something that can simply be stopped, and not confronting her about it doesn't say it's okay in the way that implies she should continue, just in the one that says she doesn't need to be afraid of judgment. This kind of thing stops when whatever's causing someone to self-harm in the first place is reconciled or whatever the behavior fulfills can be found elsewhere, and someone not familiar with the psychology and emotions behind it is in no position to take that responsibility onto themselves.

They can, however, be a friend (hopefully not one who does it, too), which is something someone struggling with it desperately needs.

Ask her if she suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder

Now I don't know what that is but I can't ask her she is over 1000 miles away and I told her not to answer any of my texts while she is gone because I need time to get my head on straight. Some of the thoughts that are running through my head are scaring me