I need some advice

Post Reply New Topic

I have a friend and over the corse of just a few months we became very close.
The first time I saw him I fell in love with him, a few weeks later I told him I liked him. To be totally honest I figured he would never see me again once I told him. To my surprise after he told me he wasn't really looking for a relationship, we continued to get closer and even faster than before.
My birthday marks the start of summer I spent the day with him and we both had a blast. About a week after my birthday he informed me that he thought it would be best if we did our own things over the summer. His birthday is the month after mine but he didn't want me to see him for that either.
I really want to talk to him but have been reluctant to even try to get in contact with him, because I don't want to make things worse. I feel like I did something but I have no idea what it was.
He confided a lot in me and told me a lot that he trusted me. Everyday he would listen to his mp3 player before class started. But once he started hanging out with me, he stopped and just wanted to talk to me. We have been at each others houses and met each others families.
Neither of us have ever been in any type of relationship, and I never told him I wanted to be in one with him. I told I liked him once, but never mentioned it again. I just turned 19 and he just turned 20.
Truth be told, I would be ok being friends forever. I never mentioned it because my hope was that after being good friends for a while he might want to be more then that. Now, knowing that there is a chance I could loose him, I just want him back in my life.

Could you please help me know what to do.
Any advice you have would be wonderful.

Hey,
I think your friend has made it pretty clear what level of relationship he wants from you. He wants to be friends, but nothing more. From what he's said about doing your own thing over the summer, it sounds like he's feeling a little swamped as well.
I think as Aspies, when we find someone we like, we want to spend all our time with them, and that can be overwhelming for the other person.
I would suggest that over the summer you find some other things to do, hang out with some of your other friends etc etc. Try not to 'put all your eggs in one basket' so to speak.
And just to let you know, I have done exactly the same thing in the past.

he does have ASD, right?

Doesn't sound like he's that into you.

Or he's in total denial.

I know he doesn't like me. I do not care if he likes me.
I guess I should have been a bit more specific. I want to be his friend, I just can't tell where his head is at anymore. We get along great and always have a blast together. But recently he has been avoiding me and I didn't get a real reason why.

My only advice would be to ask him directly. I have a hard time with those situations myself because I don't have any type of internal "relationship barometer" to gauge things most of the time. Unless your friend is the type to take the lead on things normally, you should try for some dialogue-even if it's only to put your mind at rest.