There's nowhere to go

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I keep trying to escape my life of isolation, but there's nowhere to go. I dont work right now for personal reasons, I finished with college a while back, and gave up on further due to being burnt out It seems impossible to break the cycle. I keep hoping for some miracle, that a girl will beg me to be her wife when i go shopping for food...

Been there done that got the T shirt; you just need to find something to occupy your time until you're ready to go back out into the world again, and preferably something that won't cost money.
In my case I borrow a LOT of books and DVD's from my public library, there is no fee unless you have to reserve them or keep them past due back date.
Hang in there, things will get better, it just never seems like it in transitional periods if depression and anxiety take hold.
There's nothing wrong with having some alone time, unless you let the loneliness and disruptive thoughts get to you, so make sure you keep your mind occupied with something else.
If that doesn't work it may be time to seek professional help, or call an assistance line to get you through.

Good luck, we've all been there from time to time. so you're not alone really.

Have you tried Meetup? www.meetup.com

If Phoenix has a thriving meetup community, there should be groups for all kinds of interests: dining out, sports, walking, museums, dating, music, nerd stuff. And for all ages.

If you don't like your life and feel so down, why would a woman see a good life and happiness with you? Worry about getting your life together then relationships.

True, you have to bring something to the relationship that she will enjoy.

You could work out at the same gym that bro from Jersey Shore works out at. You probably bench more than him.

What do you have to offer?
What things do you like to do? Where do you think you could do them? Won't you ever be able to have a job? No hobbies or special interests?

I don't think you want the kind of women who would beg you to marry them. Either A) They'll make your life miserable or B) They'll try to kill you in your sleep. When it comes to women I've observed that a slow and steady method of trying to find the right girl works better for most men, even though the insanity with this method is nerve wrenching and painful.

If you like animals then you should volunteer at an animal shelter. You'll meet good people and you get to work with the very same creatures you love. Don't worry, cause there is no reason for you to worry everything will work out at some point. Just hang in there and keep smiling.

Try going to places that is of interest to you, whether it's the library, the music shop, the gym etc. When you go to a place where you get to do something that you like, you'll also be around people who have similar interests to you - putting yourself in this type of situation might make it easier for you to keep a conversation going with a girl, as you then very possible will find out that you have a few things in common, meaning you'll find something to talk about. I'll give you a few tips on how to first approach someone plus continue a conversation afterwards:

First and foremost a conversation opener:

- Don't over think or make to much of a deal out of it, make it simple. "Hey, how are you?", "Is this seat taken?" or if the person is reading/buying something (a CD/book?): "What CD/book you've got there?", or for example you can do the well known "Nice day" line.
Commenting on something that's happening around both of you are a good start to: For example if your in a shoe store and she have found a pair of shoes you can say "Those are a nice pair of shoes, you have a good taste." (which is a compliment but not a to cliche one).
You can also pretend that you'r going to a place, and ask for the directions there. Otherwise you can start by asking her if she knows of any restaurants/clubs nearby.


Small talk (however, not to be exaggerated):

- Ask her what she does for living, then continue by telling her what you do. (this should not be talked about for to long though). You can ask her what her interests/hobbies are "What do you like to do in your free/spare time?". Continue on spare time convo by asking further questions about what she does aka show her that you are interested about knowing more about her topic (does she have any funny stories? have you done/do you like the same thing, then tell her. If you like something within the same genre she talks about (that might be of her liking) , mention it to her.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY - DON'T talk about the WEATHER


Body language:

- Make sure that the vibes you are sending out are good. If your nervous, bored, sad or mad (or similar things) try you best not to let it show through your body language, actually best not at all.
Seek eye contact, look the other person in the eye at least some of the time while talking (try not to stare at something far out of distance as this might make her think that she is dull, and don't look down at your feet as this makes you look shy/intimidated which doesn't qualify as the masculine energy type most girls like.)
- Remember to smile periodically, though always make sure you do it in a sincere way.
- Don't fiddle with your hands or place them in your pockets. Plus touching the other person is a no no.
- Talk in an appropriate pace don't talk to fast (By talking a little slowly you'll manage to calm your self down a little making it easier to talk in a normal manner) plus if she tells you jokes laugh at them (even if you don't find them funny) just make sure you look sincere when you do it.

Make sure you as well tell her something about yourself:

- Don't wait for her to ask questions about you, maybe she's to shy to ask. You can try telling things about yourself after she has finished telling you something. Maybe she just told you what she did recently then tell her something cool you did, if she tells you she likes to go to the ..gym tell her what kind of sports you like to do. If she tells you what did a couple days/weeks ago you can for example response by saying something like "You'r making me a little jealous here.. I've thought about going there to a couple times, but we ended up postponing it. How was it there?"
- "inject" conversation appropriate information while chatting. For example if she is talking about her annoying bus experience (that the bus driver was rude enough to drive by her causing her to delayed to work) you can tell her something annoying you once experienced with the bus. You get the picture.


Find out things you have in common - when you do this will usually give a nice flow to the conversation

When the opportunity hits, and its appropriate tell a story (either something you experienced or something you once heard) - this gives her the opportunity to get a break from talking


Ending the conversation:

- If you've talked for about 15-40 minutes with someone you've just met, that's a good enough job to leave it at that. At this point you may start running out of topics to talk about or questions to ask, which is entirely normal. Now, here you can end the conversation by saying something like "Well it was nice meeting you (her name). Maybe we can talk again some time, or meet over a cup of coffe?". If the person seems interested in your offer then you can exchange numbers.
Maybe you've talked for more then 40 minutes, this is a good sign. If you at this point feel like ending the conversation, make sure you do it in a gentle way. For example by saying "I'd wish to talk to you longer, but there's a few errands i have to make. I'd like to meet up again though".

PS: Don't call her the same day nor the next day, make sure you don't come off as to eager as this might make you seem needy, and she might end up questioning you'r intentions.

- And remember that you shouldn't consider her as a friend this early on - you should work on getting to know this new found acquaintance more first, and you probably won't be proper friends until you've met up regularly with each other, and a few weeks, months or maybe even year have passed.


If you find it hard to go on your own, bring a "wingman". This can be a friend, a brother - aka someone who can help you look good in this situation or give you ideas on what to do. Maybe they'll even point you out for someone.

Good luck

That was very kind of you to type all of that, Raven but remember some people learn visually and he will have to make a very concious effort to implement your tips into social situations.

Heh, that was a nice reminder of the basics. A good place to start from. Thanks Raven!