When an aspie DOESN'T like you.....

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How can you tell if an aspie does not like you? Do they refuse to keep in touch with you? Refuse to answer calls/e-mails/messages etc.?
Will they tell you outright that they are not interested?

I had a crush on an aspie a few years ago and he would rarely answer my texts or e-mails even though I knew he read them. He also never called me.

I'm really interested in this too sometimes I can't tell if it's their social skills or they just don't like me.

I am a nineteen year old male and selfdiagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome.
I don't actually dislike any females, but I do get bored of them. I also never text them first unless I like then. So normal female friends must text me first. I don't answer calls if I don't want to. I ingore texts. So yeah he probably just doesn't like you. I also think I have Borderline Personality Disorder so I can go from loving somoene to hating them the next. I just don't for relationships. Maybe as an Aspie he just accepted his life long failure.

If I like a girl, I will text her first, I will reply to her messages.
He just doesn't like you at all.

Asperger's Syndrome means difficulty with social skills, which means he probably doesn't know how to tell you either he likes you or doesn't.

We don't see or understand the social cues that most NTs see instinctively, so you have to be much more direct. Texting is better than phone calls because it gives us a chance to process the information and formulate a reply without being put on the spot (which is more likely to get you an emotional response than a rational one). Or ask someone about it who he's comfortable talking to.

That is a bit difficult. Sometimes I get mails from (old) friends and just do not get around to mailing them back or calling them. When I see them it is okay, but I am not faithful with communicating to them. Even if I do not mean anything with the lack of communication.

@ foreveralonevirgin was the BDP self diagnosed too.
I ask bcuz I think I may have BPD also. As I can go from not recognizing persons facial expression and body language to completely over analysing every expression a person make towards me always thinking I figured out the answer but based on other persons analysis I'm always wrong. I usually tend to think the negative.....now but when I was younger with just Aspergers. Because I didn't really noticed people I would think everyone was nice.
Now I can get so overly anxious and react negatively ( or extra weird) becuz of what I 'presume' a persons "non verbal actions" mean. Which then makes me depressed. Because mostly I feel not liked.

_________________

-the only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad- Salvador Dali-

Good friends and people who love you are hard to find, you shouldn't treat them so flippantly.

If we dont like someone we just dont talk to them ever again when they give us their phone number!

I don't think it's possible to have both. But there are a lot of overlapping symptoms between the two. Heck, most conditions have a lot of overlapping symptoms. Sso I think it's common for a misdiagnosis to happen, wteher it's self-diagnosed or even by a professional.

For you, I'd say it sounds like probably Aspergers more than BPD.

For ForeverAloneVirgin, I'm not so sure. Could be AS, could be BPD, or could even be ADD... Not enough information from his post for me to call it.

^^ +1

If someone is causing any unnecessary drama in my life, I may choose to not communicate with them. Easier than having those kind of headaches to deal with. If I have to tell someone what it is I am feeling, I will be up front about it. If I feel there is no point in telling someone something (again, refer to unnecessary drama), I don't waste my time.

So if you did this with someone and that person asked what was wrong, you would tell them they were causing too much drama. You wouldn't beat around the bush at all? I am going through a similar situation with a friend of mine. I am just really confused of his motives.

What about the headache you cause them by just refusing to communicate. They may still care for you, even if you no longer care for them. I don't like the word drama, and I find those who use it to be very selfish. Life is life, there will not always be good times.

This ^^
My life has had it's share of drama but I thank the friends who have stuck by me through it all. They know that when they are going through their "drama" I will be there for them.

I have had to ween someone out of my life based off the unnecessary drama part and due to the fact that I was getting ill trying to deal with her. Once she was gone, I had no more headaches. Others it was just a matter of them hitting the wrong nerve time and time again, even after warning them not to do it.
Another part of me that makes me run away is knowing that I have to deal with certain issues on my own. Others then take this way too personally when they think they should help.



And from the "selfish" standpoint, if I have to deal with helping someone else in their issues and they try to suck me in rather than let me guide them, then I may have to consider myself first before helping others. I am useless to another person in helping them through something if my head isn't clear. I usually give the warning that I can't help someone and may go quiet to get my head on right.

IlovemyAspie- You were involved in one of my previous posts that related to my drama and I appreciate the advice. The girl I am referring to in the first paragraph was that girl to be specific (hint. Should I Stay or Should I go).

As for telling someone how I feel once and to avoid the unnecessary drama. I tell them I like them once and see how they feel. If they don't reciprocate and we stay friends, there is no point in bringing it up again as it causes a lot of unnecessary conflict.

Ahhh...yes I remember. And yes that was a toxic situation. You really needed to removed yourself.