A Woman's Father's Role In Her Dating

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A couple months ago I saw a post on Facebook.

"My friend told me why I am so unsuccessful at bar hookups, I am too likable. A girl must see something in a guy her father would hate in order to have a one night stand."

So I decided to test this. I asked several women, of varying backgrounds, relationship statuses and sexual orientations what they thought.

And the consensus was:

The above is correct for a one night stand, but not for a relationship.

Something to think about.

Last edited by thewhitrbbit on 02 Jul 2013, 2:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The biggest mistakes that men make in dating are: (1) believing that there is one "key" to successful dating; and (2) believing that there is one formulaic "method" to successful dating.

the most important thing for any relationship, is to have something major in common.

In a relationship yes, but my research seems to suggest not in a hookup.

I may have over emphasized this as being the "key" but it could be an important factor in understanding why aspies struggle with hookups, especially aspies who have found some success in life.

^^^^This

There, I edited the title. Now to discuss the actual content.

There is only one, single, most important factor or method in attracting a woman, which is simply being alive. Otherwise, what works with one woman may drive another woman away.

I did a similar survey many years ago among female university classmates, and the general consensus was that they were attracted to men who were good dressers, good listeners, great dancers, sensitive to a woman's needs, had similar tastes and interests, generous with their spending, appreciated poetry and other eclectic arts, and who were not bugging them all of the time for sex.

They all went into full denial mode when I pointed out that they had all described the stereotype of a gay male gigolo.

For relationships or one night stands?

The question was, "Describe your ideal man". I did not specify the duration of the hypothetical relationship.

As I said, it was a similar survey, not the same.

Even if it was often true (and it's statistically likely it must be true at least sometimes), how would you act on that information? Just as different women like different things, different fathers hate different things. And even if a woman told you point blank, what do you do if the thing is something you can't do or be? Sometimes young women will indeed be looking for someone their fathers would reject for some very specific reason- it's a form of rebellion. But young people rebel against different things that they see in their parents. If her father is very rigid, she might be drawn to somebody wildly spontaneous. Can you do that? If her father passionately hates sports, she may be drawn to an athlete. And so on. It's not information you can act on unless you find out that what she is drawn to as a form of rebellion is something you already do/are.

They want someone like that but who is into women.

IOW they want perfection itself. we all want perfection but eventually we all [at least 99% of us] have to make a deal with reality.

Figuratively or literally? Many of the gay men I've met seemed to like women, just not in a sexual sense, while the women I surveyed seemed to want another girlfriend, but in the body of a man, and without any overt expression of 'typical' male sexuality - a boyfriend, but strictly on the women's terms.

They often go for the opposite of what they claimed to like.

And then change their minds without warning.

Janissy, I'm not 100% sure; but it's interesting because it could be part of an explanation as to why a girl would hook up with a deadbeat and leave a successful guy at the bar.