Dating advice: texting! What do?

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So I've been atempting to date on okcupid, and after a slow start I am starting to get numbers... what the f**k do I do with those?

Usually when I text someone it is to make plans. it is matter of fact, concise and to the point. Based on OKCupid that is dating death. I need to know what people text about when they arent actually saying anything. I think once I get the number I'm expected to contact them at least once a day... but... with what? Do I just let loose a torrent of less than - threes?

What do?

Have you already met the people? If not, why aren't you making plans to meet? If so, I dunno, general conversation?

thats the problem, what do people talk about? whenever I shift from mindless banter to engaging/ focused conversation I stop getting responses. There is also the lag time between getting the number and going on a date. I dont know how much I'm supposed to text. I'm assuming once a day at a min but I'm not sure. I literally do not know how to engage in small talk unless the other party initiates.

Can't help you there. I prefer more engaging conversation, and I don't give out my number until a date is organised so it's only used on the day if there's a problem (running late etc.). There would be no texting for fun before a first date. What you are describing is foreign to me.

This is probably bad advice, but I'd say if the other person isn't initiating either then just don't worry about it, wait til the date to chat. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong.

Oh... I think that I'm doing the being clingy and needy thing... Ok, fair enough. This may explain part of my problem is that I have a false expectation of how normal socializing works.

When I text, I get bored of mindless smalltalk.
I want engaging conversation, something that attracts the interest of both of us. My advice would be to either go with the "Organize a date first, see how it goes" approach, or the "Text in an engaging way" approach. To me, the smalltalk only makes me seem more boring, and others too.

Since it's easier to answer specific questions than vague ones for a majority of people (that I've encountered), I would suggest that you alter your method of engaging conversation; ask her specific questions about her interests for example, without potentially offending her or creeping her out (like "has a guy sharing this interest with you been a reason to have sex?" Possibly a turnoff ;D). If she likes ice skating, ask her what the first time she tried it was, and how she felt during that time. It's substantial, interesting conversation. If she isn't asking you questions back, well, ask her this: "Since you're not asking me questions, should I just offer some things about myself?" Maybe a little cheekily or having a bit of fun about asking it. The specific question could be changed - that's sometimes can be an awkward thing to ask no matter how you go about it - but it's a good idea to pursue things where you feel like both parties can be engaged.

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