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Jono
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02 Jul 2013, 6:51 pm

Ok, so I've met someone on OKCupid that I liked chatting to and I was chatting to her for a couple of months. Then all of a sudden, she deleted her profile but before doing so, she gave me her e-mail address. So, now we've been e-mailing each other and we've agreed to meet for a coffee date, and so I thought. Last week, when she asked when I was available, I suggested this Saturday (6 July), to which she said was fine for her and then asked me where we could meet and at what time. So, I sent her another e-mail suggesting a time and location but also said that she could offer a different suggestion if it doesn't suit her. The trouble is, she never replied to that last message and I wrote that last Friday. Now here's another problem - I have to pack some clothes stuff because I'm leaving Johannesburg on Sunday morning to go to a week long physics conference in Richard's Bay, so I urgently need a reply from her so that I can organise the date as well as this other thing. So, I sent a followup message on Sunday evening but there's still nothing.

Now, I do also have her cellphone number because she gave it to me just soon after we agreed to meet. However, it's the way she gave it to me that worries. She didn't give it to me saying "please call me". Instead, after every e-mail message, she just signs off with her name as well as cell number and fax number, rather than just her name like before. It's as though cell number is part of a letterhead rather than her officially giving it to me. The thing is, I don't know if that means she intentionally gave me her phone number or if it was just being careless. So, that's why I've been hesitant to call her despite the little problem I have now with needing her to get back to me to organise the date as well as the other stuff I need to do to get to the conference I'm attending. I don't know if I have permission to call her. So, what do you think I should do? Do you think that she gave me her phone so that I could call her and/or that I should call her?



JanuaryMan
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02 Jul 2013, 6:54 pm

Don't contact her any more. You have two options if you really want to see her:
A) Show up on the time you arranged.
B) Don't show up, wait for her to respond to your email then just explain you weren't sure if she was coming or got your email and arrange another time.



aspiemike
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02 Jul 2013, 7:03 pm

JanuaryMan wrote:
Don't contact her any more. You have two options if you really want to see her:
A) Show up on the time you arranged.
B) Don't show up, wait for her to respond to your email then just explain you weren't sure if she was coming or got your email and arrange another time.


Agreed.



NEtikiman
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02 Jul 2013, 7:25 pm

Is it a work-related e-mail address or one that she uses for business? If so, I would agree with the above options.

However, if it's strictly a personal account (frankly, even if it's not), you can't ignore the fact that this contact info has appeared since arranging a meetup time... If this is the case and your're comfortable making this call, I'd recommend calling!

Best case scenario: She wants you to talk to her, which is why she is ignoring your messages and has included her cell phone info.
Worst case scenario: You weird out a relative stranger and you're back to OKCupid.


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02 Jul 2013, 7:44 pm

Can't you text her if you have her cell phone number?



SabbraCadabra
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02 Jul 2013, 8:33 pm

Well, if you decide not to call her, there's a very high chance she will still be alive when you get back from your trip.


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Jono
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03 Jul 2013, 4:25 am

NEtikiman wrote:
Is it a work-related e-mail address or one that she uses for business? If so, I would agree with the above options.

However, if it's strictly a personal account (frankly, even if it's not), you can't ignore the fact that this contact info has appeared since arranging a meetup time... If this is the case and your're comfortable making this call, I'd recommend calling!


I don't know. I think it may be both. I also use my personal e-mail address for work related stuff as well.

NEtikiman wrote:
Best case scenario: She wants you to talk to her, which is why she is ignoring your messages and has included her cell phone info.
Worst case scenario: You weird out a relative stranger and you're back to OKCupid.


The reason why I was asking was because I would prefer to avoid your worst case scenario if I can.



Jono
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03 Jul 2013, 4:30 am

Well, my mom seems to think that the fact that she seems to of given me her cell phone number means that I can call her. She says that the fact that it her number appears at the bottom of each message like a letterhead might mean that it was sent from an i-phone. I'll ask my dad about it tonight as well.



The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Jul 2013, 4:56 am

Forget it.



Jono
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03 Jul 2013, 5:45 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Forget it.


Forget what? Forget entirely about her or forget about calling her?



thewhitrbbit
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03 Jul 2013, 9:40 am

What's the worst that happens if you call her? She says no and you move on?

Sometimes you just gotta damn the guns, full speed ahead.



The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Jul 2013, 10:23 am

Jono wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Forget it.


Forget what? Forget entirely about her or forget about calling her?



She would have replied if she was interested.


And no, don't show up on an unconfirmed date, she won't come and you will wait for her like an idiot.



The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Jul 2013, 10:28 am

thewhitrbbit wrote:
What's the worst that happens if you call her? She says no and you move on?

Sometimes you just gotta damn the guns, full speed ahead.



^ he has a point, you can try it only once Jono.



kate123A
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03 Jul 2013, 10:36 am

honestly.

Call her there is no way you would have her phone number unless she wanted you to. Most women are very protective of that sort of information b/c they don't want some weirdo calling them. You can easily explain and ask her to confirm it or not.



neilson_wheels
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03 Jul 2013, 10:53 am

Call or text once, you've got nothing to lose.

Good luck, i hope this was just down to confusion. :wtg: