Girls dating

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I did a lot of my learning about how to get a boyfriend by listening to what other guys said, or what I would read or see on TV.

It turned out that guys would often complain about how crazy their girlfriends were. So, I reasoned that if I acted crazy like them, that I would finally get a boyfriend, because obviously those were the types of girls that they wound up having as girlfriends. So, I would adopt those behaviors because it simply made sense that that was what guys liked. I started to act unreasonable, demanding, etc., because that's what it seemed that guys were into. It took me a while to understand (at least I think I do now, but who can really know) that that wasn't what I should have done. I did get laid, but they didn't ever develop a relationship with me. It was very confusing.

Did anyone else ever come to stupid conclusions like that?

What I've done is more to try to be the person I like... if she's complicated and flighty then I pretend I'm like that too because I don't think she'll go for me if I show her how really earnest I actually am about relationships. So then they do go for me, but they don't give me the kind of commitment I want, because obviously, they never wanted it and I just PRETENDED I didn't either.

I think the bolded word is the key to why it didn't work. If they complain about it, they probably don't really like it.

When I was young what I did was become good friends with a guy. He was very popular and I don't know why he was friends with me, but all the girls were after him and he was a bigtime ladies man but with me he was just friends. We became very close and are still close today. Just friends, but like family pretty much now. I think maybe he felt sorry for me because I sat beside him in band and was so awkward and not dressed right or anything but he heard me whispering sarcastic jokes about our band teacher under my breath and saw potential. He helped me a lot. He didn't mind telling me what to do and not to do and he would help me practice talk to guys. He taught me about the popular music and movies and told me what to say and how to act on a date, etc.

Strangely enough I became friends with his group of guys and I was the only girl in that little running group, so I'd go hang with the guys a whole lot and that's when I got into cars and guns and beer from a can and not a glass and didn't mind getting dirty. I think it was the fact that I was easy to talk to about guy subjects and didn't act like the stereotypical girl like he had taught me that did me the most good.

So, I'd suggest just finding things you like in common and talking about them with guys.

I have this problem too. I am a tomboy I get along with guys great as a friend. They all complain that their girlfriends are completely neurotic most of the time. They say they hate this however they end up marrying them. This has happened time and time again. I thought cause I enjoy activities boys like surfing, camping etc and am not crazy finally some guy would realise what a perfect catch I am. Seems that it's not as simple as that, I think you have to play power games to make relationships work this is what keeps both parties interested but that is what also makes them end too.

I was actually visiting one of my friends earlier to have a few beers and we came to the conclusion that for some reason we both were really into our (ex-) girlfriends for what you described Mika. I'm still together with my gf, but I have never known someone so unstable. My friend just came out of a relationship with a girl who was essentially suicidal. I still love my gf even though she cheated on me and is abusive. I fell in love with her because she just appeared so much more genuine and smart than any of the girls I had ever met.

My friend and I have no reason to complain about female contact otherwise and can easily 'get' with prettier or more NT-ish girls, so I started thinking about it. My gf doesn't shave, showers infrequently, doesn't like dressing up/make up or anything, has anger management issues, and she has huge and obvious issues with sudden change and structure - she reminded me of myself when I was younger. And to be absolutely clear: I do not think she needs to do any of those. It's simply what most girls do in order to keep up appearances, and those girls are apparently considered more attractive in society. Whether they are actually attractive is something completely else. Am I weird because I don't look for those in a partner? Of course not. These ridiculous standards are simply what society prescribes.

Do guys get attracted to crazy girls? Yes.

Did I fall in love with her because she reminded me of myself? Unsure. When I look at her I see beauty I don't see in anyone else. Did I know she was unstable when I fell in love? Nope. That happened a few days afterwards.

Do you have to change who you are to attract guys? No. Of course not. You shouldn't have to change your behavior significantly for someone else. That's what attracted me to the girls I've been really attracted to. I never really cared for the mind games. I'm just looking for someone who is honest about herself. Someone I feel safe with.

I realize that the above post that I made makes me look like a misogynistic douche bag and I apologize for that undertone.

I would tend to agree, but when all other factors "seem" equal, and those are the only things you hear about (at face value) that sets you apart from those other girls, and those other girls are in relationships (for better or worse) with the guys you would like to date but you are all alone and can't find someone who wants to be in a relationship with you, you begin to think stupid things, like that those complaints are the very things that are attracting those guys to those girls, despite their complaining about them... hence, this thread. There is a simple mathematical equation for that but I'm too lazy to type it out.

I can't say I did any of what you did.

Instead I found the a few of the girls who all the guys I knew admired and wanted to be with and figured out what they had in common. I made friends with those girls and learned how to do what they did. And the guys I knew who had all the girls after them taught me what makes a girl stand out from the other however many girls throwing themselves at them.

I notice most girls end up driving guys away by the psycho-crazy-needy-clingy-demanding-nagging-bitchy behaviour in the end. It's actually the reason most of them leave - they can't stand to put up with her crap anymore. They also usually manage to hide it enough in the beginning in order to get into a relationship in the first place.

If I'm honest I watched a lot of TV/film female behaviour where they were trying to get a guy and never understood it - "Why would you do that???" was basically my reaction to it. Like the whole playing-hard-to-get thing. Never understood it. If you're interested in someone, tell them. If they're interested in you, they should tell you. If someone acts like they're not interested in me, I'll assume they aren't so I'll leave it.

So really, most of what I learned from TV/films was what NOT to do!

I went to an all-girls school and it wasn't that dissimilar from what I overheard the others talking about. I didn't understand their behaviour at all.

My approach has always been, "I like you. How do you feel about me?" (in pretty much those words!) and I've got 2 boyfriends out of that approach, the second one being practically my fiance because we are going to get married, we're just not officially engaged yet. It's an approach that works really well for me - it's the not-knowing that I find the hardest, because if someone's not interested in me and I'm interested in them, I'll have a bit of a cry about it and then move on because if I know they're definitely not interested, I can deal with that.

Granted, most guys are a little surprised by this approach, but they often find it quite refreshing. And it shows them what a genuine person you are.

BE YOURSELF. If they don't like who you are, it won't be a good relationship. There's so much social pressure and expectation on girls getting boyfriends, leaving you feeling like a failure if you don't have one, but you have to do what's right for YOU, nobody else.

hi ...Im a male with autism...and I have learned and mastered dating..and relationships.. ive had numerous relationships of even 1 lasted 18 years
do to my own fault..I left..but learned as well
ive done testing on dating sites to find what women and men want..I put it all together.like a blender..and boom it hit me how easy it is ..I tried my theories out on dating sites and it worked..to my amazement I was smiling for days..

ok girls...this might come as a surprise ..but normal girls have as much trouble as we do dating..they want it all ....good looking ...over 6ft....great paying job...fit or athletic....kind...honest ...faithful.. they always say must have sense of humour..which is bull.... and no players......well they are living in a fantasy world its actually kind of sad...because they usually stay single until they wake up...now if they do find that person they just described what they dont want ..which is a playet lol..these guys are smooth like me they know the game well ..thus called a player
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Ah but you see, therein lies the problem. I couldn't be myself because nobody liked me. I was desperate to be liked. It took me over 30 years to figure it out. When I finally gave up and was about to join a convent I met my now-husband. I just couldn't figure out what made other girls have serious relationships but I couldn't. So, I tried to figure out what those girls had in common and that's the faulty conclusion I came up with. In retrospect I know it was flawed logic, but it was all I had to grab onto, and it is all in hindsight that I am able to see how silly it was.

I've had three girlfriends, 2 were diagnosed manic depression, neither took meds, one was completely sheltered and afraid of men, all were horribly insecure. The thought of dating a woman who doesn't have a head on her shoulders is just appalling to me, I wouldn't even do it for the sex at this point it's so bad.

That's a terrible conclusion to come to. If you're looking for an actual relationship, don't act crazy, that's irrational as f**k. Unless you're just looking to get laid, then, it can't be that hard.

ok to the point...what I was getting was for both sexes its all about looks ..girls are way smarter in this area which is causing a few problems now a days they go to tanning salons ..get theyre hair dyed to a blonde...or something nice ..streaks maybe...exercise to tighten theyre body...some get breast implants..now thats the quickest but most expensive way to get guys...nice tight jeans .revealing top...high heels ..make up... perfume ... mascara..lipstick.long finger nail ext..to name a few ..the more they improve theyre looks the more attention they get from men...
there are a few out there that like you for who u are..but most are taken quick..if you find one like I did hold on to them they are priceless..
these women now get tons of attention but the original reason was to meet guys cause they are either shy ..dumb...

or mostly bitchy...as you thought might attract a guy....no..no..no...not good..guys hate that ..we want a sweet kind ..pretty girl..and thats the ticket there (pretty) ... now average guys are in a fantasy world because these average girls look hot..and it goes to theyre head and they start getting picky..now the guys they date are players they get laid cant stand theyre flaw..of being bitchy or dumb ..or some have issues fron theyre childhood and are messed up in the head
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so in conclusion...to meet a guy fix yourself up look in the mirror lots that really helps..spend time on yourself..take timeout of your video game or book.and go get some blonde hair dye..buy some make up go to thrift store try some nice clothes out..wear a tight top or low cut..show some boobs..lol..guys love that...and smile at someone you like say hi..soon u will have guys coming to you ..starting a conversation...mention that your boyfriend just broke up with u and u could use a friend ..tell him you are not much of a talker but a great listener .and your kinda shy at first....he should understand all the signs and your off to a date...hopefully you meet a good guy..


p.s try not to talk about your weird stuff..
.the best way to communicate to each other is odd but works great ..by texts or computer..good luck


.and tell them you are autistic after you feel comfortable tell them to read about or watch a video on autism..so they understand you better
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This is probably the most cliche advice ever, but "be yourself." In my experience, I got the most attention from the opposite sex when I wasn't trying to get attention, or impress people, or alter myself to better fit what was "desirable."

The the second most important thing is to CALM DOWN. If you're nervous or anxious and trying really hard to act "cool", people can tell. Basically what I would non-verbally tell them was, "I'm happy in my own little corner of the universe, feel free to join me if you like." I would pay attention to their interests, and try to help them feel at ease and likable, but I wouldn't vie for their attention or change myself to match what they liked. That's what's worked best for me in the past.