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savvyidentity
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24 Jul 2013, 10:42 pm

I've been wondering about what interests other people have for what seems like the billionth time in my life :-P

Although I've had a reasonable amount of dates I've never shared an interest with the woman I was dating unless her interest was a professional interest only and counted as a taboo subject for a date - psychology came up with two people but I could tell it wasn't a conversation that could hold for more than a minute. I'm pretty sure I'd be impressed by a woman I was dating if she shared one of my interests and she liked to talk about it. Now obviously it's not a must have, just saying I think that could be nice.

So I'm wondering what interest people here have that they've shared with a date/partner. Did they like talking about it?



yellowtamarin
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24 Jul 2013, 10:54 pm

The dates I've enjoyed are the ones where no interest topic is taboo. Why should it be?

I've had conversations about psychology, autism, herpetology, and plenty of more common things.

Basically, if my date knows nothing about the topic and doesn't want to learn about it, I'll mention it then we can move on to something else. If we both share an interest, or one wants to learn from the other about their interest, let's get a long conversation going!



JBO
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24 Jul 2013, 11:05 pm

Never been on a date, but I've discovered about people that I don't really care if they share my interests. What I care about is that they're passionate about SOMETHING. Anything. Besides Game of Thrones.

In fact, I've found it's best if people don't share my interests. The problem is that I always know a lot more about whatever subject it is that I'm interested in, because I have AS and so have probably spent hundreds of hours researching whatever it is. This means it always ends up as a pointless conversation where I already know everything they're going to say, and I have to fight the urge to roll my eyes when they inevitably say something stupid. I end up not being able to respect people or take them seriously because they claim to be interested in something, but they don't know much of anything about it.

My favorite friends are experts in fields I don't know much about. I guess I just relate to and respect people who know a lot about something - doesn't really matter what the topic is.

yellowtamarin wrote:
The dates I've enjoyed are the ones where no interest topic is taboo. Why should it be?


+1, not sure why a professional interest would be taboo? That seems the most interesting to me! I have heard that some people don't like to "talk shop", I guess it must depend on the person.



Last edited by JBO on 24 Jul 2013, 11:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

savvyidentity
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24 Jul 2013, 11:12 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
The dates I've enjoyed are the ones where no interest topic is taboo. Why should it be?

Not sure that it is, it just seems that way or maybe it's "too heavy" for some people.

yellowtamarin wrote:
I've had conversations about psychology, autism, herpetology, and plenty of more common things.

Basically, if my date knows nothing about the topic and doesn't want to learn about it, I'll mention it then we can move on to something else. If we both share an interest, or one wants to learn from the other about their interest, let's get a long conversation going!


Yeah, long conversation is kinda why I think it would be nice to share interests. That's not to say all conversations where short either though.



savvyidentity
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24 Jul 2013, 11:16 pm

JBO wrote:
+1, not sure why a professional interest would be taboo? That seems the most interesting to me! I have heard that some people don't like to "talk shop", I guess it must depend on the person.


Yes partly that about the talk shop thing too. Also agree that I'd prefer people to be passionate about something.



Relicanth7
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26 Jul 2013, 12:18 am

Im suuuuuure there are plenty of girls with interests in valve based signal modification and the arts and how they correlate. *Faceshovel* :roll:

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Stargazer43
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26 Jul 2013, 5:31 am

What are you interested in?

I have a handful of fairly unique interests, and a few more common ones, so I try to introduce other people to them when appropriate. I just have to keep myself in check though, I could talk for hours about one of them but I limit myself to 1-2 minutes unless they are really engaged lol.



savvyidentity
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26 Jul 2013, 6:31 am

Stargazer43 wrote:
What are you interested in?

I have a handful of fairly unique interests, and a few more common ones, so I try to introduce other people to them when appropriate. I just have to keep myself in check though, I could talk for hours about one of them but I limit myself to 1-2 minutes unless they are really engaged lol.


A few things, not everything being unique though. Sketching, psychology and reading are probably the ones that are common and gender neautral. Yeah definately if it's not engaging conversation for them I'll talk about something else pretty quickly.



Cafeaulait
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26 Jul 2013, 7:34 am

I´ve never ever been on a date. How do I get one?



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26 Jul 2013, 10:45 am

I found both my boyfriends (I'm 28, only ever had 2 relationships, first one when I was 23, and the one I'm currently in will lead to marriage) through mutual interest - in both cases it was Tolkien! One was through the university's Tolkien Society, the second (my unofficial-fiance) at a Tolkien festival. I think it's good to have some shared interests but also some different interests - G, my current fellow (NT, not Aspie), really likes graphic novels but I struggle with them because the pages are too busy and I get sensory overload, I love badminton, he likes a lot of heavy metal music that I don't like (again, sensory issues plus to me it isn't *music*, it's a racket). We both enjoy rokeplaying (D&D and larp, not the *other* sort of roleplaying), folk-dancing, some TV programmes (my current obsession is NCIS; he really likes it but isn't as engrossed as I am).

I've never really "dated" per se, perhaps partly due to me being a wheelchair user because of fibromyalgia and ME/CFS (so going out can be too tiring and curling up with a DVD is wonderful) but I think "dating" is overrated, it usually strikes me that people "going on dates" often put on a performance to impress the other person, whereas cooking together, doing chores and so on, whilst perhaps not the most exciting, is a really good way to just spend time together and enjoy each other's company while being completely yourselves.


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