Dealing with a breakup

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Hi WP.

A few days ago I made a post about long distance relationships and stuff that went wrong in my relationship. It has in fact all gone pear shaped now and I am no longer in a relationship.
How do I properly deal with this? I asked some friends and my parents already, but I would like to get some advice from other aspies, who may be able to understand me better.
She was my first love, if that changes anything.

Cheers,

Amon.

Just try to take your mind off of it for now. It's going to bother you more if you are alone and don't have anything going on. Get yourself involved in doing something fun with others. The biggest things that helped me was just talking to others and playing video games.

Yeah, being with friends and stuff does help a lot. Got really unexpected help from a friend, which I didn't expect, especially not from him. Going to try to sleep now, would you mind to support me a bit through all this? I know I hardly know you but you've been quite the help to me in both this thread and my other thread.

Cheers,

Amon.

She cheated on me... She f*****g cheated on me

Sorry. I just recently got on here. I will message on here for you shortly with a long response and explain. That's really horrible. ... I'm so sorry this happened to you.

No problems man, time difference and all. It really does suck, she was my first real love.

I'm sorry for your loss. But I think I remember you post. Like didn't she live in another country and you have not actually met her in real life?

Yes and I remember you too. Please don't bother posting if you're going to do nothing but be negative again, it's not what I need right now.

There is not much you can do. I remember my first love. When we first broke up, I was devasted. I thought I was never gonna fall in love again.
The first weeks were horrible. But the you do things with friends, you create order in your life, take on activities, and wounds start to heal.

Basically, just live on. Don't be afraid of grief. But make sure you live on

Your life sounds hella different to mine.

Of course, no ones life is the same.

I meant that you actually have stuff going on in it.

I do have stuff going on in my life, but it's not very involving. At all.

To be honest I don't have a lot of things going on in my life, IMO at least.
The last 30 days I
1) Went to the beach with a friend
2) Went salsa-dancing with the same friend
3) Went to Amsterdam with a friend
4) Saw my ex, after 4 years
5) Saw my ex again, spent the night as his place
6) Visited a female friend and her mom (with my mom)
7) Went to the forest/beach with the same friend


And that's it. Only 7 'social' activities in 30 days...

The rest of my days I spent behind my computer and walking to the supermarket, and with my dogs

You don't really needs things 'going on in your life'. Any distraction is good, whether it's friends, anime, a game, movies, anything really

This.

I honestly don't think you should accept her back, even if she begs you (if she asks for forgiveness, or whatever). That was incredibly cruel for her to do; you don't deserve that kind of treatment. It is better that this happened, because now you won't have to put more emotional investment into the relationship and put your heart even more on the line to be hurt. She could have drug this out for many years and led you on, making you believe that she would be faithful. I think the pain that you feel will subside more easily, knowing that this was actually the person she truly was; you won't be wondering what you could have done differently to make it work. She chose the path of cheating and hurting you. You can move on and not feel regret. To the person asking about him not meeting her in real life: there is still emotional investment, and it can, and probably is, equally as painful to have a breakup online. I've done this before, but I met the person in real life multiple times. It felt really no different comparing online and meeting in real life, just that we could be closer to each other. It didn't make me feel any different emotionally. When I was heartbroken (by him breaking up with me), I felt way more devastated that it wasn't in person; there was no physical comfort. It was cold and it made me feel empty inside.