Not buying girls drinks

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I don't do this on principle if they ask. I have offered a few times and done it, like last night. I'm not sure I favor the practice unless you're their friend and they will reciprocate.

1. It is supporting a sexist system - it is benevolent sexism and unfair to me since young white men and women have the same earning power in cities

2. It makes you look weak and a pushover. Or desperate.

What do y'all think?

I don't buy drinks for any woman unless she's on a date with me.

Since I date only my wife, and she's a teetotaler, I don't buy drinks for any women.

if Im going buy a girl anything,she better go out with me,if not,then
she should pay me back.
if a girl doesn't want to date me,then she better not have me buy her stuff.
Im not going to be use like that.

Nope I am not buying her a drink. I do not drink myself so why should I purchase a drink for some random stranger?

I don't go to bars. I rarely go to restaurants. I very rarely drink.

I'd buy a girl a bottle of soda or juice if she asked and we were actually friends (or lovers.) I'd not buy a bottle of water and would instead walk into a fast food place and ask for a free cup of ice water.

*wonders why foreveralone*

I only accept 'free drinks' from friends. And even then, it's a case of 'I buy this round, you buy the next round'.
If I were out on a date with someone, each person pays for their own drinks/dinner/whatever. Or possibly one person pays for dinner, the other for drinks and the taxi.
I think it's an american thing, to expect the man to pay for a date. I find it uncomfortable, because it makes me feel like I owe the other person, which in my mind equares to whoring for drinks/dinner.

the whole idea is that a guy who finds a girl attractive *offers* to buy her a drink -- to have an excuse to talk to her in the first place. if she accepts the offer, his chances increase greatly for being able to talk to her more and getting her phone number for a possible date in the future --

so, when that's the case, BUY HER THE DAMN DRINK! -- and screw the "sexist system" crapola -- that's how it works, Mister -- and who gives a flying crap if it makes you feel like you're weak or a pushover or desperate, or blah blah blah, freakin' blah -- if you ever wanna GET screwed, you've gotta put on your big boy pants!

on the other hand, if you're not interested in her, don't freakin' waste your time or money.

and yes, i'm a freakin' expert -- i'm female.



(btw, i have NLD, and i'm pretty much NT socially)

Except the part where it makes you look desperate and easily milked for money.



People looking to get laid. Chicks have this tendency to not have sex with desperate, weak pushovers.



So you're saying the only way to be a....ahem, "big boy" is to give women money? You might as well take that cash and get yourself a hooker, your success rate will be higher and it'll happen in a fraction of the time.



So? Being a woman doesn't make you an expert. There tends to be a big disparity between what women THINK attracts them, and what ACTUALLY does. I didn't start to have much success with women until I started ignoring their advice and following the advice of men actually successful with women.

I don't have much issue with someone buying a drink or something for someone they are interested in. I see it as one of many possible signs of interest you could give. But I don't think of it as a male/female thing. As a female, I'll offer to buy a drink for anyone I'm interested in, if it feels appropriate.

Last edited by yellowtamarin on 04 Aug 2013, 7:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

**depends on what you construe as "success" -- guys who are just looking to get laid, with no relationship intentions, target drunk females who don't care if a guy buys them a drink or not in the first place...because they're too intoxicated to care.



People looking to get laid. Chicks have this tendency to not have sex with desperate, weak pushovers.

**guys who feel this way have a tendency to not get laid, ever...unless they pay a hooker.



So you're saying the only way to be a....ahem, "big boy" is to give women money? You might as well take that cash and get yourself a hooker, your success rate will be higher and it'll happen in a fraction of the time.

**again, if you don't get the big picture by now, by all means, save up your money and get a hooker...seriously.



So? Being a woman doesn't make you an expert. There tends to be a big disparity between what women THINK attracts them, and what ACTUALLY does. I didn't start to have much success with women until I started ignoring their advice and following the advice of men actually successful with women.[/quote]

**unless or until men spontaneously grow female genitalia, they'll never understand how a woman thinks or feels, regardless of their "success" rate...and as for the cheap-ass jerks who *are* successful with women? -- there's a 100% chance that they are better looking than over 90% of the other men in the room...btw, every hetero male can determine this easily, regardless of whether he's aspie or not.

^Remind me to never buy her a drink.

So, how would you describe how a man has to be o behave to be attractive and well considered as a partner?

I'll buy shizzle a drink if no one else will.

How much does a drink cost? Like $3.00 for a middy of beer?

One of the reasons it's such a common way to show interest (by asking a girl/guy if you can buy them a drink) is because it's inexpensive and not indicative of a person's wealth to afford to do so. For most people, the cost of the drink is trivial and throwaway money. If it wasn't they wouldn't be out on a friday or saturday night themselves throwing it away. If they ask for a $10 cocktail you're welcome to have a reservation about it though (if they're drinking a $10 cocktail before you approach them that's your cue to take interest in someone else, because the silly social rule states that you have to offer to buy another of whatever they're drinking).

I'm always inclined to turn them down because I'm likely to be drinking spirits which cost about $5-$6 and due to the price I'd feel bad asking them to buy the same thing when they ask me what I'm drinking, so I'd feel the need to ask for a cheaper drink like beer or cider on tap, but then I'd be mixing drinks and mixing drinks gives you a bigger hangover. Unless the sparks really fly no guy is worth a hangover.

Replace THINK with SAY and you've nailed it. People tend to say the opposite of what they think in order to boost their self image and appease their peers.