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billiscool
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11 Aug 2013, 5:13 pm

so,since Im 30,and only had one sexual partner.
where do I fit in. are women hard on guys(25 or older)
with only 1 sex partner. that they won't date them.

if I tell women,I only had 1 sex partner,would
that turn them off.



benh72
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11 Aug 2013, 5:21 pm

The irony is not lost on me that when I was single I had no idea how to get a girlfriend, even after I'd had one or two, it seemed they found me, someone found them for me, or it just happened.

I've now been married to my current wife for 6 years, together for 9, and a failed marriage behind me.

What I've come to realise is ASD or not, women like men that are self aware.
You can be strong or weak, you can have difficulties with this or that, but so long as you know yourself, know your limitations, and know your strengths and weaknesses, that's what they find attractive.
They don't like men that are insecure, uncertain, or lacking in assertiveness.

BTW, I met my current wife online on a dating website; I found this a useful tool, but like all tools you have to use it carefully, and know what you're doing.
If you choose to do like I did, check out a heap of profiles before you make any contact, and don't bother with anyone that looks like they are wanting to go up market - looking for managers, people with masters or doctorates, or people with high income.
Look for women that want to have fun, enjoy the company of a special someone, and who are not motivated by money, status, or some other agenda.



Enda
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11 Aug 2013, 6:20 pm

I doubt they'd be hard on you for the number of partners you've had but it's effect on your confidence might be an issue.

you seem to be worried that it will be an issue and simply being worried about it will sap your confidence and naturally a lack of experience will make you worry more about it and that'll probably put you in a negative confidence spiral downwards.

what i would say is not to tell them. at your age their going to assume your reasonably experienced so it'll best for you not to think about it easier said than done of course but honestly if there are girls who would look negatively on something like this their probably not the ones for you anyway.



Belfast
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11 Aug 2013, 6:21 pm

benh72 wrote:
What I've come to realise is ASD or not, women like men that are self aware.
You can be strong or weak, you can have difficulties with this or that, but so long as you know yourself, know your limitations, and know your strengths and weaknesses, that's what they find attractive.
I especially agree with this^

Knowing & being able to disclose one's strengths & weaknesses is a quality I prize highly,
and I endeavor to embody that honesty myself, putting my painful self-consciousness to good purpose.


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Belfast
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11 Aug 2013, 6:25 pm

billiscool wrote:
so,since Im 30,and only had one sexual partner.
where do I fit in. are women hard on guys(25 or older)
with only 1 sex partner. that they won't date them.

if I tell women,I only had 1 sex partner,would
that turn them off.
I don't see it as a dealbreaker for most women.

For all they know (at first), you could've gotten married at age 18 and been with only your wife since then.
That would be an easy-to-understand story, but even if that's not the case for you,
I still don't think the mere fact that you've only been with one partner would be too large an obstacle to them wanting to get to know you.

I suppose it depends on the *reasons* for OP having had sex with "just one" woman ever-
those reasons might make the OP more or less appealing to prospective dates, but I don't know what those reasons are.


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auntblabby
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11 Aug 2013, 11:27 pm

finding a suitable mate is a very tall order and not for the timid. it is so much easier just to stay home and be unconditionally loved by one's cats.