Asian men/White women couplings

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equestriatola
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08 Sep 2012, 5:41 pm

(No smart-alecky or mean-spirited reponses, please)

I am Asian myself, firstly. With that said.....

Over the past 10-some years, there has been an increase in Asian Man/White Woman couplings, whereas in the 1950s, this would be frowned upon.

However, I am still bothered by:
1) I was brought up in a somewhat conservative culture. As a result, I will clash with my parents, and I have this "not-a-yes-man" mentality in me, whereas in most Asian cultures, conformity is the name of the game, and I fear that their (my parents) influence will create a bearing on whom I date/marry.

2) Some people out there still frown upon these couplings. To which I usually give a death glare to said person who says so, and then something scathing like, "Get the hell away from me, you're a ----ing pest!"

So, who here likes these couplings? Any other thoughts? Post here.



CrystalStars
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08 Sep 2012, 5:43 pm

Why does the coupling matter, so long as the people in question are happy together?


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equestriatola
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08 Sep 2012, 5:44 pm

I feel that being an Asian male, I feel like I am pressured by my plebes, my 'rents as it were, to marry another Asian.



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08 Sep 2012, 5:47 pm

Pressure or no, you still get a choice. So why not choose what makes you happiest instead of what others want you to choose?


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equestriatola
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08 Sep 2012, 5:50 pm

Good point. That's been my aim the whole time.



NoGyroApproach
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08 Sep 2012, 5:52 pm

Hi-
The obvious answer is "You should love who you want to love and live happily ever after"
The reality is "It's not that easy"

Unfortunealty you have to consider if you can handle the family pressure if you fall in love with a non asian girl. You may have to consider choosing your family over the non-asian girl. That would be a hard and a sad choice that you may be forced to make.


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equestriatola
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08 Sep 2012, 5:56 pm

Well, here's the thing: Technically, they say they 'recommend' I marry another Asian, they didn't say I 'needed' to marry such a person.



PastFixations
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08 Sep 2012, 6:05 pm

equestriatola wrote:
Good point. That's been my aim the whole time.

You have your own feelings, if your parents can't accept them... they probably won't help matters for you.
Also, it's your values... which actually makes you more mature than your parents in terms of acceptance and understanding that the world isn't black and white in terms of what is accepted in any culture, wherever you are born. (Metaphorically speaking.)


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08 Sep 2012, 6:05 pm

equestriatola wrote:
Good point. That's been my aim the whole time.

You have your own feelings, if your parents can't accept them... they probably won't help matters for you.
Also, it's your values... which actually makes you more mature than your parents in terms of acceptance and understanding that the world isn't black and white in terms of what is accepted in any culture, wherever you are born. (Metaphorically speaking.)


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08 Sep 2012, 6:16 pm

equestriatola wrote:
Well, here's the thing: Technically, they say they 'recommend' I marry another Asian, they didn't say I 'needed' to marry such a person.

Then tell them they should be happy for you if you can form a meaningful connection with anyone. A lot of people are lonely and a lot of people are in crappy relationships. So if you can find yourself in a relationship with someone who loves you for who you are, and whom you love in return for who she/he is, the rest shouldn't matter. It shouldn't matter to society, it shouldn't matter to your parents, it shouldn't matter to anyone, because ethnicity is never a good basis for a relationship, just like it's never a good basis for hostility.


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redrobin62
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08 Sep 2012, 6:17 pm

How about a black woman? Does that interest you?



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08 Sep 2012, 6:31 pm

redrobin62 wrote:
How about a black woman? Does that interest you?

I believe the correct terminology is "Do they interest you?"


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08 Sep 2012, 7:26 pm

Some countries are still VERY big on xenophobia and "racial purity". Mixed-race babies will blend in fine in North America, not at all in other places. Bear that in mind.



equestriatola
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08 Sep 2012, 11:05 pm

See, this is the thing: Having been raised in the US all my life, I am HARDLY xenophobic, although my parents, who were raised in Korea, are to a little degree.



1000Knives
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09 Sep 2012, 12:21 am

That kinda coupling is rare as hell. That said, not encouraging by any means, but something 20% of Asian-American men go through life unmarried. Yep. So take what you can get I guess.



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09 Sep 2012, 2:23 am

equestriatola wrote:
See, this is the thing: Having been raised in the US all my life, I am HARDLY xenophobic, although my parents, who were raised in Korea, are to a little degree.


Re: not being xenophobic... True as that may be, that's not the same as not having preconceived groupings of other people. Despite being born and raised in America, I'm still figuring stuff out that I wish I'd known, or never learned, earlier.

I was a kid (basically) when she and I was together (east asian male, white american female). The weird thing was the stereotypes working in my favor; I was favorite among her previous boyfriends to her parents. I thought this was a bit spooky but I figured as long as I didn't actively acknowledge any of it, it was fine.

As far as parents, they are ignorable if you remain independent. One day they'll figure out that you're your own person. Whether or not this happens before or after it doesn't matter.... hmm....