Not sure if this is what they call "Love"

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Joined: 5 Sep 2013
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,141
Location: England, UK

02 Oct 2013, 12:13 pm

Hi All,

I am somewhat confused about what Love actually is. I don't know if today I fell in Love with someone, or what it was.
It was at a social group for adults with aspergers that my GP/MD had advised me to attend so that I would meet other people like myself. I was playing a board game with a few people, and the person sat next to me & we kept looking into eachothers eyes. I noticed that even when I was focused on taking my move in the game, I could see them out of the corner of my eye looking into my eyes. When we talked about the game we looking into eachothers eyes. When I say "looked into" I mean really looked into the eyes. Into the person. Like we connected. I got a warm zuzzy feeling from it. A seratonin rush, or endorphins. It wasn't sexual arousal, but like when we looked "inside" the other we wore no masks. They had the most beautiful eyes. I would have very much liked it if we had touched finger-tips; that would have been like electricity. Like completing the circuit. At one point they moved their leg so that both our legs touched. They looked down to where our legs were touching at the knees, and then looked me in the eyes as if to see if I was OK with the physical contact. I was fine with it, but it was their eyes that drew me in. It would have felt electric if I'd reached out and touched their face.
Even thinking about it I feel the seratonin rush or endorphins.

When it was time to go home, they asked me if I'd be coming along next week. I said that I would be, and I was suprised when they said that they would be too because when we had been chatting they said that they don't attend the group very often. I interpretted it as because they liked me they would come along next week because I'd be there.

What was I feeling?
Is this the emotion/feeling that is reffered to as "Love"?


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Joined: 7 Mar 2012
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,030
Location: Alone

02 Oct 2013, 2:38 pm

I wouldn't call it love just yet. But there is definately an attraction ppresent. If this progresses, love will come later. At that point you'll know the difference. This sounds promising.

Keep calm and date a short woman
I'm not short, I'm fun size!


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Joined: 22 Sep 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,949

02 Oct 2013, 2:56 pm

Kind of, I think...

You cannot mistake the electricity, though. You can feel it. Just because you cannot see it, doesn't mean it's not there moving between you.

I believe strongly in energy flow between people, but you may not.

I strongly think that what you felt isn't of you, and of the other person. It's like a current that runs, and you are the terminals.

Now this is not love that can always form relationships, and this doesn't necessarily mean that it will always be there. It could just be a random miracle when you realise the truth - that we are connected to each other all the time, we just block it out! Because there's so many things to notice, and not to notice.

This person may have felt the same way as you. Or not at all. Sometimes this can be a one way street. Most of the time, you have to be in the state to receive this. You have to be clear to it - or, bizarrely, it can just smash down your door and charge in!

It is not necessarily attraction in the classical case. Attraction may be independent of this whatsoever. And let's say love came. It would be independent of this feeling, too.

You should be able to distinguish this from the simple feeling of an endorphin rush. It sounds different than that - if you feel electricity 'between' you.

Bear in mind that nobody can define or prove this. I think it's God reminding us that we are connected, as much as we'd like to think we are individual. I think it's the greatest feeling in the world; I'd open the bottle of champagne on this. But, you experienced it, so you are the one who knows or doesn't know.

Cool 8)


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Joined: 6 Nov 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,604

02 Oct 2013, 3:38 pm

That isn't love, simply lust. I think that love can best be represented by how much you would be willing to sacrifice, at no personal gain, for the person you care about.