he doesn't ask me any questions back
Well... sorry, but if the response I get back is "you're a piece of sh**." or "selfish c***" I am not likely going to want to resolve conflicts. I will want that person the **** out of my life.
Wow, what kinds of things are you telling these women?
This.
It's interesting to me that this question so rarely gets asked ... or, if, like here, if asked, it rarely gets answered.
And it's so central to the dialogue, too.
Well... sorry, but if the response I get back is "you're a piece of sh**." or "selfish c***" I am not likely going to want to resolve conflicts. I will want that person the **** out of my life.
Wow, what kinds of things are you telling these women?
This.
It's interesting to me that this question so rarely gets asked ... or, if, like here, if asked, it rarely gets answered.
And it's so central to the dialogue, too.
Wow... and this was asked months ago and I never knew I was being asked a question....
Anyway, the scenario in question that got me called that... A girl that I was once in love with, and there was a possibility she was with me at one point. However, it was hard to tell because she didn't know what she wanted. There are a lot of details that will be kept private.
I will indicate that what happened involved a player who was willing to sleep with this girl despite her having a boyfriend, and this same girl using my old feelings for her to her own benefit. Even better was the fact that this girl was more than happy to have both me and the player in the same environment with her despite my lingering feelings for her and my desire to try and do the right thing despite these feelings (I was even trying to encourage her against repeating old mistakes only to get ridiculed for doing so).
there was no way possible that I was going to come out of this situation a good guy. I told her I wasn't going to hang out with her during that time period. She apparently took this as rejection and me avoiding her. In return, I got called a "piece of s**t" and a "selfish c**t." I told her that I wasn't going to hang out with her again. In all honesty... I'm sick of talking about this or even thinking about it.
Of course there was another girl that this player was dating at the time. she ended up telling me what happened later on... I didn't even ask for the details. She told me that I did the right thing in walking away.
I ended up getting what I needed in the long run. I also got something I wanted. And I am happy with the girlfriend I have now.
_________________
Your Aspie score: 130 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 88 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
I understand the whole not asking questions thing. I don't like asking people questions. I feel stupid when they ask me a question and I ask them the same thing back. I don't know why. I feel like I'm copying them and parroting back the same question and they will think I'm stupid if I do that.
I don't like to pry either. I was brought up by a mother who has the attitude that if someone wants to tell you something then they will tell you. If you need to ask then they don't want to tell you. She is wrong, but I don't think I'll ever really overcome that brainwashing. Needless to say we have alot of problems in our family that wouldn't exist if we actually communicated with each other in the first place.
I've noticed as well that some people are story tellers and others are question askers. It's their nature.
Another thing is that I often don't remember to ask people things. Say someone told me about a thing that is going to happen to them, I forget all about it and then don't ask them about it when I next see them. I only remember when someone else asks them how the thing they did turned out. I don't know why I don't remember these things, but I don't.
Another thing is that I often don't remember to ask people things. Say someone told me about a thing that is going to happen to them, I forget all about it and then don't ask them about it when I next see them. I only remember when someone else asks them how the thing they did turned out. I don't know why I don't remember these things, but I don't.
^^ this!
I do try very hard to remember to ask, but then I do forget too :// grr self
Another thing that I miss more often than not is when people ask me about something expecting to be asked back about that or a similar thing -often I just give a reply and don't think to ask back when the only reason they asked me a question is so that I would ask them about it and they could then tell me... I really wish people were more straight forward
I was in my early 20s before I learned the skill of reflecting questions back at people to further the conversation.
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Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I
To OP, I over analyze I look into everything I always look because I miss so much that others see at first glance. I'm learning now at 26 after years of effort that sometimes you just read the words themselves. Always remember you aren't in person it is different and you can miss things. Don't doubt your knowledge but never trust your analyses until you have all the data. It's a nerdy way to say it but basically don't try to find a conclusion from too little information. He talks he communicates maybe he's quiet maybe not Idk and you don't either. It sucks to not know but be brave and trust and if it goes badly decide for yourself if you want to continue. If he is too closed tell him you feel this way be honest be true to your feelings and always always be honest to yourself in what you want. He may not be that, good luck to you.
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Tacos (optional)
I'm starting to feel like I'm driving things too much and maybe he replies out of politeness only.
You say he seems interested in continuing the conversation, so he probably is. Just because some people would ask questions as a way of signalling that they want to keep talking doesn't mean he will too.
me: what's your favorite color?
him: red.
So, what do I do with that? Do I go ahead and just tell him what mine is? Does he care? Will he wonder why I'm telling him I like black?
I think you are trying to communicate indirectly too much. You're worrying about what subtle hints he might be intending to send, when he probably isn't trying to send any subtle hints, and may not even have a clue how to.
As far as what to do with it, what do you want to do? Do you want him to know your favorite color? If so, then tell him. If his methods of communicating bother you, let him know and make recommendations (preferably specific) on how to communicate in the way you would prefer.
What do you mean by "does he care?" -- do you mean "does he care about me?" or "does he care about my favorite color?" or "does he care about the color black?" Whichever it is, ask him.
I can't tell whether he would wonder why you're telling him it's black, but I don't think so. He could assume that you place importance on certain people knowing your favorite color, or that you're telling him out of completeness, since you asked what his was. Those reasons might not be correct, but they were easy to think of, so if he did wonder, he would probably come to a conclusion pretty quickly and not wonder very long. Or he might just respond to the information by remembering it, without speculating as to why you would want him to know that.
This makes sense to me.
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