I know what you mean. I have developed a list of dialogue for general social interactions with retail people etc. For the most part, these short interactions are very much on a script. "Hey" "hi, how are you" "good and yourself" ... and so it goes until you reach that point where the script runs out and you have to make up new sentences. With retail people, I find that the scripts can go full circle, from 'hi' to 'bye' with ease. Everyone else is on autopilot. It seems to me that strangers, or the like, breaking this script rather than letting it run full circle are interested in having a conversation with me. Then things get complex, and I become defensive (apparently my body-language changes) while I am trying to keep up.
With people I know better, these scripts can grow, the circle can become longer and easier to keep track of. In addition, sometimes they can become sufficient to allow a friendship to develop because I can 'predict' the implications of certain statements I make or hear. This is the point where I feel I can get into 'his/her head'. Some people, I can never get into their head.
Now here is my point, when getting to know someone, when developing their script, I miss so much information that friendships and relationships, which would normally occur ..., do not. NTs do not rely on scripts, they intuit the meanings other people have, and I need the experience of trying a certain set of statements to know how they might work. That causes a delay, a delay which leaves the ladies, who are flirting with me, feeling like they are talking to a brick wall, and by the time I can figure out what was going on... most have moved on.
As an extra point, supposedly when women flirt, they use body language and wording identical to when they JUST have more-than-neutral feeling towards you. Meaning that most times there is no way to know if she is thinking 'I want him', or 'he's okay', without asking.
