I'm a 28 year virgin and I feel like life is passing me by.

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What can I do about this?

Realise the two aren't necessarily related.

Why do you think you're a virgin?

Octobertiger makes a sage point. Many people have led happy, fulfilling lives of complete celibacy. And many people who have had very active sex lives have been thoroughly miserable.

I will say this though: Having a sex life is normal for humans. Of course, getting to sex is what is hard for aspies. Confidence helps. So, depending on where you live, you might want to think about a prostitute for your first experience, though I would strongly advise doing it where it is illegal, and not just for fear of getting caught.

If you live in the western US, I can recommend Nevada; if you live in the southwest, Mexico; or in the southeast, Puerto Rico (which is where I lost my virginity years ago in a house of ill repute).

Try some dating sites online. It will probably end up in a string of failures, at least initially, but the general dating experience you'll gain from it could help you out a lot.
I think dating is kind of like getting a job. You have to start out with a bunch of temporary stuff first in order to build experience before you can get something that you really want to stick with permanently.

I am not a virgin, have a job, am master student at university, have the sweetest mum, cutest dogs and I still feel like life passes me by and nothing makes me happy.

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Last edited by Kurgan on 08 Oct 2013, 3:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If it bothers you, do something about it. Other people can't lose your virginity for you.

Here's an advice no PUA will give you, but at least worked for me: the more socially awkward you are, the fewer night club owners you know and the fewer parties you're invited to, the more you have to compensate for it by other means (i.e. making a lot of money, looking good, getting built etc.). Don't wait for the "one true love" or any BS like that. A lot of socially awkward men (including me) lost their virginities in one-night stands.

The above is a sage, onion and nutmeg point.

WE make ourselves happy.

You can have everything you want, everything you think you want - and two weeks later, you'd be wanting something else.

A lot of the men here say 'oh, if I had my 10 woman, everything would be great'. Not so.

It's just something else to chase, when standing still might be better all round.

What is a sage nutmeg and onion point? Never heard of that expression

What is a sage nutmeg and onion point? Never heard of that expression

being a virgin is much better than being a serial killer.

Would you rather be a virgin or a cereal killer?

you do have a point there.

I am middle aged, asexual and have been celibate all my life. I am fine with that. I have plenty of problems in my life, but they have nothing to do with that aspect of it. I really don't want to partner with anyone. I don't even want a roommate. I am a hermit type of person, so having a partner is definitely not something I want. It is not the end of the world to not have a partner. However, if you want one, you need to go out into the world to find one. They won't come to your door to find you because they don't know of your existence, as long as you stay home. Try joining clubs, volunteering, join a local theater group, get involved with your local house of worship, or politics, etc. You need to be pro-active to get what you want. And remember that old saying: "Be careful what you ask, you might get it." Basically, you may find that you don't like too much closeness with people. If you find someone who can handle that, fine, other wise you could have a problem with your relationship down the road.

Well anyway, good luck with your search for a partner!

Do you have creativity? Channel it into something. Creating stuff that can outlive you will soften the pain.

Also, take up something you can gradually improve in. I recommend traditional martial arts, namely Aikido, Wing Chun, Karate, etc. Aikido is probably the friendliest.

I think whether you have had sex or not is not what you should focus on. Sex in my opinion is simple physical act like shaking hands with someone or hugging someone, society makes it into an important life goal but it shouldn't be. Many people feel disappointed after their first sex because they imagined it would be amazing and it ended up being awkward and overwhelming in terms of the emotional and sensory experience..

I think people should focus on trying to make friends with people who they get on well with and who make them happy, then through friends, hopefully find a girlfriend/boyfriend and slowly develop a physical relationship with them over a period of time, instead of having a single goal of having sex. Sometimes kissing and touching a boyfriend or girlfriend who really understands you can be more satisfying than having sex. Especially if the sex is with someone you are paying to be there.