Should I be *realistic* and accept I'm always gonna be alone

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I've had major crushes on 4 different girls over the past 7 years of my life and tried to woo/impress them, and each time it failed. One of them has been a close Internet friend for 7 years (she lives in another country; I told her I'd move for her, but she just wants to be friends), another was a girl I went to high school with, and another was a musician (not a very well known one) I had a crush on and knew who ended up marrying some dude. I've had a few other more minor crushes as well but not to the same extent. I'm pretty picky yet I'm also desperate, paradoxically.

The most recent girl I have a crush on is someone I met in a Facebook group, we talk pretty much every day on there in some context or another. There are a few problems, though:

1) I'm nearly 24, she just turned 16. The age isn't an issue to me as she's quite mature, but it would probably be an issue to her father and my family would probably be disappointed in me for dating such a young girl.

2) She has a boyfriend. Sort of. She talks to this guy in Egypt who says he'll be visiting in 2 years and moving to the States in 4 or 5. But I kinda doubt it will ever happen. I on the other hand, at least live in the same country and could easily visit her next year if I started saving right now.

3) She lives in North Carolina, I live in Oregon. Not a huge issue since it's the same country I suppose at least but still.

4) The past couple days she's been kind of aloof/sarcastic towards me, even though she was flirting with me and saying I was sexy and complimenting all my pictures and statuses just a few weeks ago.

TBH I doubt anything will ever come of her, but I really like her. I just always fail these things. She's like almost the perfect girl to me though. If I were to dream up a woman she'd be very similar. My best guy friend says I should just forget about pursuing a relationship with her, but I think she's worth trying for. I haven't been interested in a girl this much for a long time and I actually think she is more "my type" than any other girl I have ever liked.

I just wonder though if this will fail like all the other times. Maybe men with AS are so unattractive to women, being we are "defective" and "bad genes" that it's simply hopeless for us to find love. I don't have a lot of friends in real life, my community college is not a good place to meet people, the nightlife in my city is not that great, and online dating on sites like POF has never given me a date let alone worked wonders. I really like this girl despite the fact she is young and I don't know when a girl I like as much will come around. It could be a year from now, it could be a decade from now, and chances are she won't like me either or if she does she will get sick of me.

Do you think I should offer to visit her in the near future perhaps, like maybe next year? I've been talking to her for a couple months now.

Ahem. I stopped at "I'm nearly 24, she just turned 16." for a minute there. No no no no no no no no no...And no. Unless you can keep it ENTIRELY romantic until she turns 18, I really wouldn't, plus she has a "kind of" boyfriend, another red flag. My advice is just wait, if you do want her wait until she's 18 at least to take it farther than friends, there are so many legal implications and so many ways to land you in jail it's not even funny with jailbait.

Tell her your intentions, and the age of consent in North Carolina is indeed 16, however I'm sure there are still legal implications there, since 18 is the age of majority. And I'm not saying don't go for it, I'm just saying use your brain, do research, and be honest.

Thinking things like she is perfect for me is bad. Don't ever get that into someone it will just make it tougher when it does not work out.

Going to be blunt there is probably a 99% chance she will lose interest after awhile. With no real way to physically be around each other because of distance. She also has a lot of growing up left to do you may think she is mature for being 16 but 16 too even 20 there is a massive change in people. Don't make big decisions in life on people that young they can change drastically in just a year.

Everytime i hear the word 'perfect' warning bells go off in my head. She's not perfect, and when you start letting off signals that imply you believe she is, well, that's not in keeping with her reality.

Also, considering this Egypt guy, she's probably just seducing guys from a distance to shore up some self-esteem. It's incredibly easy for girls to do this. All they need is the courage to do it once. Im not saying it's happenning, but many of the signs are in place.
As for meeting her? I guess. It's all good. I wouldn't though. I tired of dealing with parents very early on.

So overall... there's a reason why things happen. I find alot of perfect girls temporarily mould themselves into the perfect image of what a dude wants. It's especially easy since we all want the exact same thing, pretty-much. Cept for me. I have odd tastes.

Anyway, perfect girls like this often need a constant stream of men to re-enforce their image.

Keep in mind, this is all speculation. And im not saying she's playing you, but i am wondering how you think she's perfect, just the same as Captain Egypt with his 4year flight plan, does. Sounds like a balancing act. *shrug* Its not intentional, but meh.

I sense you are being lead on and that she knows what she is doing. Aspie or not, you should be able to see right through a 16 year old when you are 24.

And why must everyone talk about this "forever-alone" stuff when they hit some obstacle with some girl they are pining for?

I just want to take this opportunity to undercut myself and say that i was being highly speculative, and a little negative. Sixteen year old girls are sixteen year old girls tho.

Déjà vu.....

I was 40 before I had a romantic relationship last more than 6 months.

Yo man, I feel you there, I'm sort of dealing with the same s**t and actually having the same thoughts going on in my head as you do.

I've been walked by in bows by random young women like i'm some sort of mutant rapist creep beast on the loose whatever yet a lot of people tell me I'm good looking, so yeah, I feel like people are walking contradictions for some reason and I've learned to judge people by their actions and not by their words.

hahahaha good one

you're only 23 I woudn't worry about being forever alone yet. And yes dating a 16 year old girl when you're 23 is kinda weird. Maybe it wont be so weird after she turns 18 or 19. As you get older you can date people in a larger age gap. You woudn't want to date a 16 year old girl as a 26 year old. But it would be more acceptable to date a 26 year old girl if you're 36.

You have plenty of time, you're a decent looking guy surely you will get a gf someday.

Given my own personal experience on this issue, I'd say that you'd probably need to think this over a little bit more. About her, I mean.

When I was sixteen, I met this guy online that was two years older than me, and eventually we got very close. I kept saying how I eventually wanted to move over to where he was, and got super clingy. Then one day, he told me he was dating another girl, and I got super upset. And the worst part of it was I lost all contact with him.

All I'm saying is, really be careful around her. Right now, you may think that you know her very well, when you might actually not. It's very easy for people to fool you online.

Not saying that you shouldn't date her, though. I'm really just giving my own two cents on the situation.

And about the age gap, yeah. I'd say you'd probably need to wait a few more years.