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I've been talking to a girl on dating site for a while now. It seems like we've been hitting it off and she actually seems to like me. It probably helps that on her profile she says she thinks nerds are sexy. They don't come much nerdier than me. She even reacted positively when I said I like Star Trek and calculator watches. Even when I say something stupid and make her mad, she forgives me instead of deleting me immediately like some girls would.

She says she doesn't want to meet for a fair while. Contrast this with other girls who lose interest if you don't ask them out within two days. I'm fine with this since she's actually expressed a lot more interest in me than the other girls who terminate after a single, phlegmatic date. She didn't mind my "interview questions" too much and contrary to what has been said many times on this board, the nice guy approach seems to be working quite well (see guys, not all girls want jerks).

The problem is, since she wants to get to know me better before meeting, it means I have to keep her talking and I'm running out of topics of conversation. Especially since she doesn't like to talk about her personal life much. It's been said many times that you should always get girls to talk about themselves. This just doesn't work for me. Just about all of the girls I've talked to would talk about themselves very little. I suppose of they're judging me that means I have to talk about myself.

Anyway, I need suggestions for what I can talk about for the next few weeks.

It's too late to go to a footy match. If you're in Adelaide, the Crows have been out for a while now.

Maybe talk about next season and the hope that Douglas doesn't kick one right into the post from 3m away.

How about taking quizes and comparing results? I mean silly lighthearted things, like "What kind of shoe are you?" - you can find them here

http://ptsdinfo.net/personality_just_for_fun.html

If I'm a sandal you're a loafer, it might make for conversation, do you think?

There's lots of them and they're kind of fun.

Good luck!

Ooops, correction - this is a better link

http://ptsdinfo.net/quiz.html

That might work. I'll suggest the Star Wars one since she thinks nerds are sexy. Actually what I'd really like to do is get her to take a Myers-briggs Test but it might creep her out if she works out I'm trying to psychoanalysis her. I already creeped her out once today when I worked out when her birthday was by analysing clues on her profile. Except she hadn't told me her birthday. I'd better stop figuring out stuff about her before she's told me or she might think I'm a stalker.

Last edited by RetroGamer87 on 19 Oct 2013, 8:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I agree - it's too soon for Meyers-Briggs!

There's one aspect of the MBTI that doesn't come up much. All my life, I thought my brother was some kind of a mistake, until as an adult I found him in the MBTI. I was astonished! There's nothing wrong with him! He's normal! There are 16 kinds of normal and he's one of them!

MBTI takes a lot of flak as labelling, but it really helped me out with my brother.

Talk about activities. Tell her what you did during the week, what your plans for the rest of the week are, what you will do or did over the weekend. Ask her the same things, and use the conversation topics to branch into other areas (ex.: if she says she played _____ video game over the weekend, use it to open a conversation about your favorite video games). I find that the "getting to know you" type questions are often more suited to actual dates, online it often feels more like forced conversation. Then again, it feels the same way on dates sometimes when they aren't going well lol!

What stupid things do you say to make her mad? Can you give examples?



If she doesn't want to meet for a while than this means that she isn't interested. How has she expressed interest in you or what gives you the impression that she has interest in you? It doesn't seem like the nice guy approach is working because you mentioned before that she gets pissed with you and she doesn't want to meet you for a while.



If she wanted to get to know you better than she would be asking you questions about yourself. You shouldn't have to make an effort to keep the conversation going like it is evident you are being asked to do. I think your problem is that you aren't intuitive enough when you ask questions. And this in result causes women to feel uncomfortable around you and they won't tell you about the details about themselves. I think you need to think about things less when you ask questions and feed off the what these women tell you what's in their minds. If they don't give information than why keep trying to talk?

Asking for ideas from random strangers to try and please this woman won't work. Where will it end? Are you just going to have to keep coming up with new ideas every time you guys run out of things to talk about? Think about it. She has a role in this relationship too if she wants to know you.

One time she said "BRB" and came back six hours later. I called her out on this, saying BRB is meant to indicate a short absence. She got mad. She got over it quickly.



By saying stuff like "you're sweet" and "XOX".



True.



True. Sometimes she starts the conversation and these tend to be her best ones. Usually happens on Friday for some reason. I shouldn't push her the rest of the time.



The trouble is, when I asked her out she said "we hardly know each other" but she seemed to be receptive to the idea of getting to know each other more. That was a few weeks ago and we know each other better now. I should ask her out on a Friday. She's always nicer on Fridays.

For one thing, I have to agree with Star Wars as a topic of conversation because there's a lot of history in the Star Wars universe like the Great Galactic Wars between the Galactic Republic and the Sith Empire. Also, the Clone Wars. The other thing RetroGamer57, I have to agree with you asking this girl out on a date on a Friday for two reasons; 1) Fridays are the official end of a work week for most jobs and don't have to work on the weekend and 2) there's always a lot of things to do on a Friday night wherever you live like movies, bowling, etc.. Also, i have to agree with you that since it's been a few weeks since you talked to this girl that it's about time you ask her out on a date so you can get to meet her in person. I hope that this helps.

Retrogamer87, how are the conversations going between you and this woman?

They were going really well for a while. Now she seems a bit indecisive. She said she wanted to meet on Friday, said the place I suggested was too far away for her (an hours drive away and she has a car). I said she should suggest a place closer to her and she never did

You're joking - trade period just ended! So much to talk about!

Except for us Lions fans...we got screwed.

Which is why I kinda gave up online dating. Because most women I talk to its like I have to put power into the conversation. I type more lines than she does. I then honestly run out of things to talk about. It usually happens with younger women. They are boring and cannot hold a real conversation. With older women I have had lengthier talks.

If I were you I would exchange numbers and talk sometimes. I'm more of a direct person. If a woman is not giving off an impression that she is interested then I leave it be. I don't want to waste her or my own time.
One thing I hate is when I message a person a nice reply and all they can say back is; good, oh okay, kk, oh i see, etc.,
I'm like WTF you can't ask a question back or something? Geez.

You're right! When I talk to a 19 year old it usually goes terribly but when I talk to one my own age it goes a lot better.

I have to agree with Lost,

She is keeping you as a pet, you are never really in control. You are only there to make her happy. Like a dog. If you are going to set demands, she will just walk away because she is the owner and she owes you nothing. Try it and see where it goes, write it off as friendship only. Even if you go quiet and spend more time with someone else, she wouldn't notice since she probably got plenty of other guys/pets on a leash.