Money more important than Love?

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I really want to find love, but I am going to wait to find love until I'm done with my undergrad degree/first military term. I am going to make a military career, so I would ideally like to find a military man (but not now, but when I am an officer, so he'll be an officer). That way we'll be together more easily.

Until then, I'll be around 28 about then, but I feel like it would be harder to find guys because of my career, being older, and I think I'll miss out on love. I want to date upper class men (fit/tall too; since I deserve it), so I first have to be upper class myself. But, I believe my career, before love...

is my logic flaw?

I think I can have multiple short term relationships (3-4 yrs and less), and then when I tell him I have to go on for my career to go do deployment, serve more, or whatever... he'll either have to marry me (and go with me/wait) or we'll have to break up. Kinda of sucks, but I want to find Mr. Right, and have my career.

I am doing the same thing I am not really going to put in a ton of effort into looking till I am done with schooling and my career after has stabilized. I will be about 26 by then but if I do the impossible and find a girl on my way there and she ends up being amazing and ok with the fact that I will only have about 1.5 open days a week to really do anything and would wait(doubtful) then I would go with it.

I would too rather find someone more career focused and I hope they would understand what I did and why a 26 year old would be new to relationships and be fine with it.

My suggestion though is drop the attitude of the type of person you deserve. No one deserves any attention or love from anyone if we did it would make the emotion worthless.

I think your logic makes sense. Today waiting is almost a requirement because careers are very important. But like Wafflemarine said, the attitude of deserving a tall, fit guy should be dropped. You don't need to deserve what you prefer because its what you want and you can just go after it. I think if you keep your eyes open and do what you enjoy, you won't miss out on love.

Well I guess I don't deserve it, but I think I made myself good enough that I don't have to date a unemployed, 28+ yr old (when I am 28, make it 38+), fat, and <5'5. I want to date an equal, no better or worse than me on the market.

But I have a way of dating guys not meeting my criteria.

I would date a guy near my height (but needs to be no less than 1 in), if he has a ton of muscle, awesome personality, making bank. Or a guy who is 15-20 yrs my plus, if he's 6'5 and handsome in the face, and making bank.

30 yrs +, then it better be Brad Pitt,
40+ Bill Gates, and/or billionaire.

You might get flamed for this, but I don't see a problem with being honest about this stuff - things like physique and earning ability do matter in a long term relationship. It's not all about personality like people like to tell themselves. If someone is fat and unemployed, what does that say about what they'll be like as a partner and potentially a father? If he can't take care of himself, how will he contribute to a relationship / family?

There's also nothing wrong with seeking financial stability, despite how much we love to demonize gold diggers. I mean, I think it's a bad idea to pretend to like someone just so you can mooch off of them, but seeking out a partner who is successful in life and has similar financial goals to your own is fine. Who are we to judge people?

I think you definitely should wait. Wait to find someone similar to (read: as superficial as) you.

You'll need to have money as well, to be up to his 'standard', so it makes sense to spend time earning some first. And getting that Officer status.

Yes your own stability is really important and will help you out in a relationship.

There are many reasons to love someone, and whatever criteria you decide is important is what matters to you!

At least you're seeking for a future equal instead of wanting to marry (very) up, unlike a lot of women.

I need to rely on myself when it comes to money, and I don't want to rely on anyone else. I don't want to use a man, but I don't want to support him either. A man might leave me, and then all I have are memories. It's not for me. I need power too.

I could easily live off some man, and not work, but I am afraid he would replace me... and I'll be old and ugly.

I have my pride too.

If you think that you rather deserve fit, tall, upper class men, then you deserve someone making you happy, there is nothing wrong about your logic.

At the moment I consider money more important

All I can say Xlexa is.......................
.................good luck

What did John Lennon say about life - "it happens when you make other plans".

Surely it would be better to keep an open mind about what can happen. Yes, have plans by all means, but rule nothing out.

Life doesn't usually work according to logic.

That's what I think, too. There is nothing wrong with having definite ideas about what you want your dream man to be like, but don't be surprised if you end up falling for somebody completely different to the man you imagined and thought you wanted.

To be honest alot of people I know found the right person in their 40s after their first marriage/long term relationship broke up. So I think that working out who you are as a person and living your life is a good thing rather than settling down young and then realising you've made a mistake. You never know who is going to turn up along the way though.

its okay to have standards. Just not too much standards. In fact we all have standards. Would you date a 5 year old or 80 year old? I sure hope you said no.


What I mean by having too much standards is, if you don't have much to offer then you shouldn't place you standards so high. For instance, if you're an overweight, poor, ugly girl, you shouldn't request a 6 ft 2 hunk with loads of money.