If She's Not Responding....(REASONS)

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Hi,

I'm new to the forum. I've been going to a counselor, and she's convinced that I have aspergers.
I've yet to read Tony Attwood's book, but it's coming in the mail.

Anyway, for those of us attempting Online Dating, you will invariably get a lot of women who don't respond.
This doesn't mean your ugly or unattractive.

As such, let me give you some good reasons she (or he) is not responding.

1. Geographical Distance: You live too far apart.
2. Too Busy to Respond.
3. The woman your contacting is actually a fake profile.
4. She (or He) Is already seeing someone.
5. She's on a dating site, but she's not seriously looking for anyone.

There are a lot of people on modern dating sites, but they really don't take it seriously, and as such aren't really looking at the time.

So there are 5 proposed reasons they're not writing back.
It's not because you're ugly, and remember there are billions and billions of people on the planet, and if you don't give up you WILL eventually find someone.

Anyone who says they will never find a mate is living in a state of low self-esteem and self-deception. The odds are actually VERY good that you will find someone if you don't give up.

Anyway, some thing's I've learned from online dating.

God Bless You!

In Christ,

Corey

It's so nice to see optimism for a change round here nice first post, mate.
Welcome.

Sadly, I've come to the conclusion it is not because I'm ugly, but simply not attractive enough in a very picky society.
I've decided to just hit the gym more, eat less of the crap I like eating and concentrate more on other things I enjoy for now.

Your reasons sound a lot better, though, and it's always a good idea to consider them first before jumping to conclusions

Reason 1 and 3 might be possible.
2. If they find your profile and photos attractive, they will respond, even if they're busy.
4. If they are in an exclusive relationship they would've disabled their account already.
5. They will still respond if they find you attractive, even more so if they're only looking for ego booster.

The main reason they didn't respond to your message is because they found something about you that was a deal breaker, be it looks, age, distance, height, political beliefs, whatever.
The last two messages I got yesterday were from guys way too young for me.(23 and 26) they were both good looking and had nice profiles. But the fact they were messaging someone way too old creeped me out a little. So I didn't reply.
So don't take it personally when you don't get a reply. Just move on to the next one.

Well that's certainly a good first post! Welcome!

So in one post you went from saying you WILL find someone if you don't give up, to saying the odds are VERY good (I'm assuming you don't mean quite 100% which you said at first).

Why not tell us what you REALLY think?

Naive optimism can be really useful for one to use on themselves in the right moments, but I don't feel it's ethical to push it on to others.

This last point is a very interesting, intriguing point, that naive optimism may be generally good the times I decide to adopt it myself, but not very ethical (or very engaged in terms of a real dialogue) if I try to push it onto others. I'm going to have to think about that some.

======

ccook70, welcome in to the fray!

And as a poker player and as someone who's interested in probability, I'm more interested in the over-under. How many people do I need to contact before there's a 50% chance that at least one person will contact me back?

[quote="Yuzu"]The main reason they didn't respond to your message is because they found something about you that was a deal breaker, be it looks, age, distance, height, political beliefs, whatever.
/quote]
This. And it's also possible that they got 20 messages that day and they only took the time to respond to a couple and you weren't one of them.

6. He/she finds you physically repulsive.

End of thread.

7. The baliffs have taken their computer and phone away, to compensate all the internet dating bills that person has ran up, looking for little old you.
8. Giant centipedes from the planed Nyarg crawled inside their ears, and convinced them that you weren't a good option.

"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth" Eamonn Holmes, hey.

9. Her husband found her OKCupid account!
10. It's because you talked about your special interest.

11. She found out your autistic
12. You creep her out.
13. She mistakes you for a serial killer or a pedophile.

Of course 11 leads to 12 and 13 due to misunderstanding of people on the spectrum.

14 fawns a fawnicating
15 is too young
16 Gooold riiiings!
17 restraining orders
18 million reasons
19 th Century values
and 20 million more people to talk to!! !

ah thank you.

21. You dont have money!
22. Shes a lesbian
23. Shes already juggling 3 other men.
24. Shes already conning someone in a catfish scheme!

25. you made some minor mistake that ordinarily would be forgivable but online its just another reason to block you

26. you blocked her by mistake.
27. she already found someone else and forgot to tell you.