Changed my opinion on the shirtless pic.

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I just want to say, sometimes I see a pic of a shirtless guy on OkC and it doesn't bother me at all. Such pics have these qualities:

- Not completely front-on
- Taken by someone else, at least somewhat candidly
- The guy is being outdoorsy and happened to be shirtless because of the climate/activity
- The guy isn't just hanging out at the beach or by a pool (i.e. he's actually "doing something").

My stance used to be that the shirtless pic is a turn-off in online-dating (if one is looking for a relationship with someone who is not shallow, and I assume there are many such people). I've realised now it is not necessarily so, as some types of shirtless pics don't give off the same vibe as others.

So what is my point? My point is not that if guys want to post a shirtless pic they should follow my guidelines above. My point is that I don't mind a certain style of shirtless pic, and other people who are attracted to men probably like them in that style, or some other style. So if I was to give advice, I'd say post whatever type of shirtless pic you think your future date would find tasteful (rather than hot). I do still think that the shirtlessness should be consequential, not a deliberate act to show off the naked physique.

My current okc pic is a side pool pic, and my indoor shirtless pic had more impact btw but both are very effective to get replies.

Oh, and where else a guy would be normally shirtless outdoor? huh? enlighten me please! A beach/pool pic is the most normal and least show off shirtless pic can be taken.

Being shirtless while playing basketball or doing some hiking or bangee jump would be a pure *cough* "deliberate act to show off the naked physique" (because it's totally unnecessary to be shirtless while doing any activity other than swimming).

Just say you love to see shirtless guys, it's ok, we won't bite.


Sigh, women and their contradictions.

Never thought you'd be the first to reply Boo!!

He could be swimming at the pool, or playing volleyball at the beach. There's just something about a pic of someone lounging around by the water that has a negative affect on me.

Yes, because a pic of a lounging guy around the water = show-offy guy.

While a pic of shirtless beach volleyball with sunglasses and commando head band doing some cool volleyball move = not show offy guy.

Right.

Hey, I totally encourage something like the 2nd pic, but I can't see how it's less show-offy than a regular sitting beach pic.


Last time you showed me your profile, I haven't seen any pic of you doing something btw.

What about you apply some of your advice on yourself?

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 12 Nov 2013, 3:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

I was advised that a guy (gender role) should be doing something in the picture. Something that yellowtamarin mentioned. I was given this advice by a female member of this site who happened to be a sociologist. But sure shirtless could probably help it along, women also likes some eye candy

Because, the impression it gives me (and remember I'm just talking about my impressions, not "the way it is" or whatever) is that in a "doing something" pic, the guy is showing us what he likes to do. In the lounging around pic, the guy is showing us what he looks like with his shirt off.

I would readily post pics of me doing things if I had friends to take pics of me doing things

I try to post pics that show who I am, not just what I look like. So in one pic I'm holding a lizard, cos I do that a lot, in another pic I'm holding my SLR out in the Aussie bush cos I do a lot of bushwalking and photography. There's one of me out with friends. If anyone took a photo of my playing my sport, I would post that.

So if a guy wants to express himself as someone who likes to sit by the water, that's totally fine. I'm just saying that it gives me the impression he's probably showing me his body, not showing me what he likes to do. (It would still be MUCH less likely to have a negative effect on me than a topless selfie in the bathroom, though!)

The same is true for guys wearing tank-tops instead of t-shirts. Sleeveless shirts and tank-tops don't look very good at all in my opinion regardless of how ripped the guy is.

A woman (gender role) doesn't do something in the picture, unless you want to attract the same sex. The guy does. But you (yellowtamarin) don't have a problem with receiving messages from both sides right? So you have a combination of both types of pictures, I assume.

If you wanna a pic of you playing a sport then you would have to ask your friend "please, take a pic of me while playing this cool double kick move" - that's a picture with an agenda intention (to post it on okc or facebook for...show off).

That's more show-offy intended than a random regular pic taken, in my opinion, it's peacocking.

I'm not very good at thinking about gender roles. I just try to post a collection of pictures that reflect who I am, same as how I try to talk about who I am in the profile text. What are the important things I want to get across? Unfortunately with photos there isn't always someone around with a camera when you are expressing the "real you", but I just work with the pics I've got.

My opinion on the shirtless pic is the same for males and females. If a female posts a picture of herself in a bikini, I'd want there to be a reason for that pic other than just showing off her body.


If I did ask someone to take a pic of me playing sport, it would be just so I could show that that's something I do often. Failing that I'd just mention it in the profile text. But I would prefer to post a shot of me playing the sport, than a shot of me in my cute sporty gear, just sitting there posing.

shirtless women on okc... imagine that.

I bet you are!

I got curious as to how much my opinion has actually changed, it seems not really at all. Oops. Pointless thread

From 07-JUL-2012:

It shows that you think too much about pics and about showing pics to others on the internet.

Meh...it can be kinda a turn off for me.


Like that girl buddy I know, she wants to take a pic of every single thing she does, while she's driving, while she's playing something, while she's exercising, while she's smoking hookah...etc. She keeps handing me her phone for the pics.

Now, of course, a photo of you doing skydiving is worth taken because it's something usually done once-in-a-lifetime.


In the old days, photos were about keeping memory, now it's more about attention and approval-seeking.

Urgh.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 12 Nov 2013, 5:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

That was from a private message? yellowmartin, this is not so cool.

Don't make me reveal what happened later on.